zombieland

Horror Headlines: Wednesday March 27th, 2013

Looks like both Tom Hardy and Jason Statham are being tossed around to play the lead in the upcoming Joel Silver remake of "Escape From New York". It's all just rumors now but either one of them would make a dreamy Snake Plisskin. It's like having to choose between Cheesecake and Pumpkin Pie. You're going to be happy either way and there's no way your ass is going to fit into those new jeans.

Some additional details and the first cast photo of the new "Zombieland" pilot has hit the tubes. It looks like the show, which hopes to run into full production on Amazon streaming service will pick up two weeks after the original film ended. The gang will be leaving Pacific Playland and heading out on a cross country road trip. I assume there will be zombies too. It would be stupid if there wasn't

Jennifer Blanc-Biehn, of "The Divide" fame, is set to make her directorial debut with a new flick titled "The Night Visitor". No real word on what the film's story will be but it looks to be a sci-fi/horror combo shot in the found footage style and shooting is set to begin on April 4th in LA. Just in time for Spring fashion season!

Soon to be Oscar nominated "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters" has officially been slapped with a DVD release date and it's going to be June 11th. The film will be made available on all kinds of formats for your viewing pleasure and be chock full of features an unrated version and interviews. I know I'm pretty much come to terms with the fact that I'm going to be too excited to sleep for the next 2 months.

In Real People News: 

Kids are still walking around with their asses hanging out? I assumed that whole thing died a while back but this 18 year old in Illinois apparently stabbed his father after he demanded he pull up his pants. This is all that Bieber kid's fault isn't it.

I've always assumed it has got to be miserable for a parent to have to chaperone their child's school trip but I can't say I agree with this woman in Florida grabbing the bull by the horns by and getting tanked before her son's trip to a local museum. Wait no I'm wrong, it was a grandmother. This is perfectly acceptable. Old people can do anything they want.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday February 20th, 2013

It's confirmed folks, "Star Wars" "Jurassic Park". I know it seems kind of obvious but Kathleen Kennedy has made it official by stepping down from the producer role on the fourth installment of the dino series in order to take on that role in the next "Star Wars" film. Han Solo battling a T-Rex. Now that's a movie I'd like to see.

Jason Clarke, of big old drunk in "Lawless" fame, is the latest name to be tagged to "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes". No real word on what role he'll play but I swear to god if there's a drinking monkey in this movie it will be my favorite film of the year.

Because it would kill me to go more than three days without some casting news for the new "Zombieland" series coming to Amazon here's some news about Kirk Ward being confirmed for a role. Ward will play one of the leads in the series, I assume based solely on the fact that he looks a lot like Woody Harrelson.

I don't know why you have to make a movie about a clown returning from the grave to bring vengeance on a group of kids that let him die but "Stitches" is just such a film. It's also a film that's been slapped with an April 1st release date on VOD and Blu-Ray. April fools day, I get it. Honestly though they could just show a bunch of real clowns sitting around drinking coffee and it would be scary as hell.

In Real People News: 

The new law I learned this week? Apparently it's illegal to drive around Michigan while sucking on a dildo. Put it in the books.

It's got to be exciting when you win the lottery. So exciting that you'll probably want to throw a party. Maybe such a big party that you mistakenly blow up your house while torching up some meth. It is nice to see some younger folks winning for once at least.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday February 13th, 2013

This is apparently a thing everywhere but I never heard of it until I moved to Chicago. Yesterday was Paczki Day. Paczki is a Polish donut type thing that were made on the Tuesday before Lent to use up all the lard, sugar, fruit and other things you can't having during the fast. I don't fast or partake in Lent but I sure as hell love a Polish donut. Maybe a little too much. Maybe I ate like 3 of these things and then I heard my heart struggling to pump. I love and hate this town at the same time.

Word has it that "I, Frankenstein", the big screen adaptation of the the graphic novel with the same name, will be dropped in 3D this coming September. Now before you all go getting moist over this you should know that the film wasn't actually shot in 3D, Lionsgate will be doing all the magic in post production. So in other words it's going to suck and they're going to want 4 or 5 extra bucks for it at the theater.

David Hewlett, better know as "oh hey that guy" from a bunch of horror flicks is stepping behind the camera with a new film titled "Debug". The film is about, and stay with me here, 6 computer hackers who have to battle a rouge artificial intelligence program that wants to be human. All kidding aside that sounds like the worst movie ever. There's nothing funny about that.

And the "Zombieland" casting train keeps on chuggin. Has anyone ever used that analogy before? Man, that is awsome right? Frakin bad ass train that does casting. I'm like a freakin poet. Anyway Maiara Walsh has landed the lead role, AKA the one Emma Stone played in the original film. I'm calling this an upgrade because Stone looks like a frog and if you try to tell yourself that you think she's hot then you're only kidding yourself.

NBC is apparently making a "Dracula" series and Thomas Kretschmann has been cast as Van Helsing. I don't know who he is and this show will be canceled almost immediatly. Watch for it.

In Real People News: 

If you're going to stalk your ex wife it's best to do it while wearing full body armor and holding a Valentines Day card. Cause that's sweet. Also carrying a gun and machete though is kind of nuts and you'll go to jail for sure. It's a real fine line.

SOUTH CAROLINA! Raise up, take your junk out, tell the cops it fell out when they try to arrest you! No one else remembers that song? It was awesome. I've used this joke before haven't I.

Horror Headlines: Monday January 27th, 2013

Three years ago yesterday I wrote my first news post for the good folks at Bloody Good Horror. I assume the card got lost in the mail or something.

So last week we talked about how the "Zombieland" TV series will be made available via amazon in the not to distant future and now we know that Eli Craig is in talks to direct. For those of you who don't know Eli he's the guy who wrote and directed "Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil". No word on any of the cost for the show but if I know the guy who was in the original movie and then went on to play the Facebook kid like I think I do he's probably sitting at home thinking, "Ya know I'd like to just do a show that can only be seen on a website that people don't know you can watch shows on. Sign me up for that."

Britt Robertson, who was apparently in "Scream 4" and is not a stripper, has landed a role in the upcoming television adaptation of Stephen King's "Under the Dome". For those of you not familiar with the story it's pretty much "The Simpsons" movie but with less yellow. Robertson will play a young waitress with dreams of getting out of her hometown. Oh man imagine if a giant dome trapped her in that very same town she wants to leave? That would make an awesome show.

It looks like Magnolia Pictures has picked up the rights to "S-VHS", the follow up to 2012's anthology flick "V/H/S". This time around the story follows private investigators who are searching for a number of missing people and stumble upon a group of tapes in a abandoned house. A bunch of directors I've never heard of are on board for the film but I'm awful with names so they might be well known. I might sit next to one of them at work. Wouldn't that be weird?

IFC has dropped a March 28th release date for "Room 237", a new documentary that focuses on the making of Stanley Kubrick’s classic flick "The Shining". There's really nothing funny I can say about that so let's just call it a day shell we?

In Real People News: 

I always got nervous around parent teacher conference time but this kid went to the next level and faked being kidnapped in order to stop his parents from going to their talk with his teacher. Yes he got caught but now when his parents finally do go and find out he's flunking math or whatever he can use the "well at least I didn't say I got kidnapped again" excuse. He's kind of a genius.

Every parent wants their child to do well in school but this Minnesota man who pointed an AK-47 at his daughter for bringing home a a report card with 2 B's might be going a bit overboard. D's maybe, but B's is a threaten with a butcher knife type thing tops.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday January 23rd, 2013

Screen Media Ventures, LLC has announced that they will be launching a new digital channel on Roku called FrightPIX. Aimed at horror fans the channel will launch with about 100 streaming films and another 30 per month for viewers to enjoy. This sounds pretty awesome and if someone could please explain to me what any of this actually means I'd be more than happen to invite you all over to Roku it up some weekend.

America's sweetheart Ron Howard has signed on to direct the big screen adaptation of Neil Gaiman's "The Graveyard Book". Based on the classic "The Jungle Book" tale, the story follows a young boy who's raised by ghosts in a graveyard. Sounds pretty dope if I do say so myself. And I do because using words like "dope" keeps me hip and cool like the youth of America. Peace out.

Amelia Rose Blaire and Jurnee Smollett have both been added to the cast of the upcoming season of HBO's "True Blood". One will play the Governor's daughter and the other will play a down home girl looking to help out her fellow man. One will be a little bit country, while the other will be a little bit rock n roll. One will be a little bit gentle and the other one will be a little bit runnin' wild. Osmond reference. Get it? No one? I really killed the whole me being hip thing huh.

The other day we talked about how it looked like there might actually be a "Zombieland" series in the works. Remember? Well now it looks like the series has been confirmed but instead of finding it's way to your TV the show will be released through Amazon. I'm not even sure if I'm excited about this anymore but to be honest with all the hoopla surrounding Beyonce's performance at the recent presidential inauguration I'm having trouble knowing which way is up.

In Real People News: 

A giant goat cheese fire in Norway closed down a roadway for over 6 days after it broke out in a tunnel. I don't know how something like this happens but this is probably the worst thing to ever happen in Norway and for that fact I want to move there immediately. I also love cheese.

A male nurse in California is under arrest after it was discovered that he was violating female corpses. To be honest I assume this is why 95% of men who become nurses get into the field. Sickos.

Horror Headlines: Friday January 11th, 2013

Word around campus is that the uncomfortably attractive Aaron Taylor-Johnson is the front runner to battle the big lizard in the upcoming "Godzilla" reboot. No decision will be made until the final script is complete but if come on. Have you seen him? Mother of god he's got the yes of a angel. I've said too much haven't I.

Ellen Page, the annoying gal from "Juno", has signed on to play the lead in the big screen adaptation of "Into the Forest". Based on Jean Hegland's novel the film focuses on two sisters trying to survive as the world is falling apart. Come on you remember her. "Oh my blog". I know, makes you want to punch a baby seal doesn't it.

Wanna know something? There's a "A Nightmare on Elm Street" Blu-Ray collection coming out. It's going to be the first time that 4 through 7 have been available on Blu-Ray. They're going to be chock full of all kinds of interviews and extras. In related news I will not be purchasing any of them.

For no other reason than to be a prick and keep people talking about it "Zombieland" director Ruben Fleischer has not ruled out the possibility of a sequel. Sure he says there's no script for it, there's no cast for it and no there aren't even plans for it. Hell it doesn't even sound like he wants to do it. But ya know never say never or some other bullshit. Prick.

In Real People News: 

An Arizona woman was taken into custody after she called the cops and threatened to kill her husband because he wouldn't put out. Thank god you can't go to jail for not putting out. Cause there's a ton of woman I could have sent to the chair in college. Get it? No one loved me.

A 51 year old woman did what any normal person would do when returning home to find their lover in bed with someone else. She went into the kitchen and dropped a number two on the floor. Wait no. That's completely insane. Forget everything I said.

Horror Headlines: Friday, February 12th, 2010

Your favorite gravel voiced and bald headed hearth throb Vin Diesel has made a few nerds happy by announcing that he and David Twohy are re-teaming for a third "Riddick" film.

Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, writers of smash hit "Zombieland" are feeling rather cocky of late. In the same interview we posted earlier in the week, the two authors talk about their dreams of turning the film's universe into a TV show. Sure, it seems far fetched but you can put money on the bet that I'd probably watch it faithfully!

Top Cow comics has put up a trailer for its upcoming motion comics for "The Crazies". It's Friday, you know you'd rather read comics than work anyways.

Good news for you romantic types, there's yet another tween supernatural romance in the works pitting a teenage girl's hormones and a twinkie monster. Sparkling vampires were bad enough, how abouta teenage girl in love with a boy that turns into a wolf every winter? We're one step closer to 'Furry: The Movie' folks.

Lucky McKee and Angela Bettis are prepping for another team up, this time on the sequel to the "The Offspring", "Offspring: The Woman".

In Real People News: 

Two men in the Florida Keys get into a massive brawl over the results of the Super Bowl. Unfortunately for one of the men, his opponent grabbed him by testicles and squeezed until they popped to get out of a headlock.

Shanghai reports an upswing in drug issues with many arrests for the use of ketamine, cocaine and methamphetamine. All this to keep them awake for more hours to play mahjong. And that's no joke.

On this day in history: 

1554 - The sixteen year old Lady Jane Grey, puppet Queen of England for nine days, beheaded in the Tower of London.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday February 10th, 2010

Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, the writing duo responsible for "Zombieland" are hard at work on the upcoming sequel. Want to find out what they have in store for the 3-D shenanigans in "Zombieland 3-D"? The check out this little video interviews where they discuss some of their plans.

Although not official, we may see Wes Craven return to the directors chair for the in-development "Sunflower". Written by Mischa Green, the story pertains to psycho college professors and innocent college girls. Sounds right up Craven's alley.

I know you've all been waiting for the return of Dee Sniders's Captain Howdy; you're going to be so happy! Dee Snider sat down and discussed his plans for "Strangeland 2: The Disciple".

Slasher fans will be happy to hear; splatter classic "The Prowler" is coming back to DVD later this year! Even better, a Blu-ray release is promised shortly after.

In Real People News: 

Mr. Chang is accused of killing his mother. The act of murder is bad enough, but when officials found the body she was missing an arm, the back of her skull, skull remnants were found in the refrigerator and her blood had been drained into trash can in the garage.

On this day in history: 

1863 - Midgets Tom Thumb and Lavinia Warren married in a ceremony promoted and orchestrated by P.T. Barnum

DVD: Zombieland comes home

The one solid horror film released this Halloween season will finally be released on DVD February 2nd, with the following specs. There is currently a sequel being filmed in 3D.

• Commentary with Actors Woody Harrelson & Jesse Eisenberg, Director Ruben Fleischer, Writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick
• Go Behind-the-Scenes with "In Search of Zombieland"
• "Zombieland is Your Land" - The zombification of the United States
• Deleted Scenes
• Visual Effects Progression Scenes
• Theatrical Promo Trailers
• Woke Up Dead Episode "Up and At ‘Em"

Horror headlines: Wednesday November 25th, 2009

In a recent interview, Neve Campbell drops hints that Wes Craven may indeed be back for "Scream 4". While not official, it could be good news for this franchise reboot.

Rueben Fleischer, director of "Zombieland" reveals in a recent interview that 3D is a definite possibility for the planned sequel.

Stephen King lets slip to David Cronenburg that he has ideas percolating for a sequel to his classic "The Shining". With King however, that could still be decades away.

Want a good approximation of the new Freddy Krueger makeup? Then check out this new figure from NECA toys.

"Left 4 Dead 2" not fully filling your zombie killing quotient? 2k Games has released its first official expansion for "Borderlands", "Zombie Island".

In Real People News: 

Bangladesh has passed new laws to regulate the sales of sulfuric and hydrochloric acid, formerly available to anyone off of the street. All of this is to curb a recent rash of guerilla acid attacks used to melt people's faces.

A man suffering from common joint pain rubs himself down with rubbing alcohol mixed with rosemary. After dousing himself, he steps into the street to light a cigarette and sets himself on fire.

A 14 year old Poquoson boy dies horribly by falling into a wood chipper.

On this day in history: 

1867 - A patent is granted to Alfred Nobel for dynamite

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