Wild Speculation: Who are Ridley Scott's Space Jockeys?

Submitted by Eric on Friday, Jan 27th 2012

iO9 has a great article about Ridley Scott and his "Space Jockeys" (pictured above). They made their first mysterious appearance in "Alien" (1979), and are starting to pop up in promotional materials for "Prometheus". So since this is the internet, they decided to dig up every reference that exists to the creatures to try and make sense of how they fit into the universe.

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Horror Headlines: Friday, January 27th, 2012

Submitted by Joe on Friday, Jan 27th 2012

I don't even know how long ago that Rebecca Black song came out but it still rings in my head every Friday. That's got to mean something to someone. Anyone!

No real surprise here but it looks like " V/H/S", the horror anthology from Adam Wingard, Glenn McQuaid, Radio Silence, David Bruckner, Joe Swanberg and Ti West, has been picked up by Magnolia Pictures. The film tells the story of a group of burglars who discover a bunch of weird videos in a house they're robbing. From the number of directors I assume each story will be about 3 minutes or the movie will be 4 hours long.

If there's one thing you know about me it's that I freakin love Norway. Corpse paint, trolls, and everything in between. Give it to me! So I couldn't be more excited about the trailer for the new film "Thale" . The movie is based on the mythical Norwegian charter Huldra, which is a sassy minx who lures men into the woods. Sounds fun but unfortunately the men never return. Oh and the Huldra has a cow's tail. God I love Norway.

All you really need to know about "Monster Brawl" is that it's a fake Pay-Per-View battle royal between some classic monsters and Jimmy "Mouth Of the South" Hart is in it. Now that I've got you all excited here's the bad news. Image Entertainment has decided to push back the DVD/Blue-Ray release from March 27th to June 12th and unfortunately haven't given a reason. I need a reason! Maybe it's because they're trying to get Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. Let's pray.

I don't know how much you can really believe this but Megan Ellison, founder of Annapurna Films which now owns the rights to "Terminator 5", how promised the next installment in the robot series will indeed be rated R. She let this news out via her twitter account though and I'm not positive but I don't think anything on there will hold up in court.

In Real People News: 

Ladies and gentlemen, well mostly gentlemen, and I don't really mean "gentlemen"... here is the greatest invention to ever been imagined. An aftershave specifically designed to hide the smell of a strip club.

Little baby goats are always adorable. Well not always, this one that was born with 6 legs in Europe and is an abomination and should be thrown into a lake.

Retro Trailers: "The Children" (1980)

Submitted by Carly on Friday, Jan 27th 2012

"The Children" is a fun little low budget horror film about zombie children, written and produced by Carlton Albright. After being exposed to some sort of nuclear gas that's been leaking from a power plant, a group of school children on a bus are transformed into gruesome zombies with black nails who are able to burn you alive with their hands. Yes, I am serious. And it's up to the adults to put an end to them and their crazy death hugs. I'm pretty sure this movie is just more proof to toss into the kids are creepy box that I keep under my desk at the BGH office.

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5 Horror Shorts to Shudder and Shock

Submitted by Tor on Friday, Jan 27th 2012

If you are like me you love short films for their ability to take chances and maximize small budgets for impact. Below are 5 shorts that I found very memorable and better still they are all available to watch online... legally. They range from unapologetically profane to creepy fun; you can watch the whole lot in under 30 minutes and feel like you have had your decency undermined and, in at least one case, your lunch ruined.

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Trailers: "KIller Cup" has sequels...

Submitted by Erin S on Friday, Jan 27th 2012

What do you think of when you hear the words "French", "Murder"and "cup"? I know, I totally thought the same thing too - a Killer Cup!! Yes, your Connoisseur of Crap has found another delightful gem, straight from the bowels of the internet.

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Snapshots: The Emotions of Danny Trejo

Submitted by Casey on Friday, Jan 27th 2012

I have no idea who is responsible for this, but whoever you are? Thanks for the chuckle!

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Album Review: Goatwhore - "Blood for the Master"

Submitted by M. Drew on Friday, Jan 27th 2012

I really thought I would hate this album. Goatwhore had done next to nothing for me along the entirety of their career, aside from occupying the conversational space where I would say to people, "well, if you can get by their name...they're not the worst band ever." Hardly gleaming praise.

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Horror Headlines: Thursday, January 26th, 2012

Submitted by Joe on Thursday, Jan 26th 2012

We're just a little over a week away from "The Woman In Black" hitting theaters and I for one am a little damp between the legs about the entire thing. And this new clip from the film has got my river flowing at full throttle this morning. All kinds of creepy toys and lights going out. Oh man it's damp. This is without a doubt the most disgusting thing I've ever written.

The continuation of the second season of AMC's "The Walking Dead" is not too far off my friends and today we've got news that Aaron Munoz and Michael Raymond James will be joining our band of marry travelers. Right now both are being put on the books as "guest stars" so there's a good chance they're not going to be around long so enjoy them while you can. Perhaps with a nice bottle of Bordeaux.

Because of a sugar imbalance I fainted while watching "The Devil inside" so I'm not that impressed by this news but it looks like one movie goer hit the floor while watching a screening of "V/H/S", a new anthology flick from Ti West, Adam Wingard, David Bruckner and Glenn McQuaid. The happening took place during a midnight screening at the Sundance Film Fest so there's also a good chance whoever it was was some kind of sissy boy. He was all "oh I can't wait to get home and watch 'How I Met Your Mother' on DVR! hey is that blood? Uh oh I'm going down!".

Russell Brand has been confirmed for the cast of the upcoming haunted house comedy flick "The Hauntrepreneur". That guy sucks and so will this movie. That's the news.

In Real People News: 

Here's a Florida man who confessed to not only cutting up a guy with a hatchet but also eating his brain and eyes. I don't know, I guess when you get hungry you get hungry.

Everyone's got different baby sitting styles but I'm pretty sure this woman in Washington who poured salt and detergent down a 4 week old child's throat because the baby was "evil" has the worst style I've ever heard of. Truth be told I haven't read a ton of parenting books though.

What we're watching this weekend: "The Grey" + More Livestreaming tonight!

Submitted by Eric on Thursday, Jan 26th 2012

I'm out of jokes about "The Grey", at least for the moment. I figured I should save some for the show, which we'll be recording this coming Monday. In general, cheesy movies or not, I'm happy to be back in a theater after the doldrums of December. Do this as long as we have, and you gain a new appreciation for the theater experience, content not-withstanding. The week after that is what will hopefully be the first great horror film of the year, Hammer's remake of "The Woman in Black". The buzz is heavy for this one in the BGH offices.

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Your weekly Syfy eye-destruction: Swamp Volcano

Submitted by Eric on Thursday, Jan 26th 2012

Nevermind the fact that the title makes no sense, it has Brad Dourif!

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Trailers: "The Shrine", from the guy who brought you "Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer"

Submitted by Eric on Thursday, Jan 26th 2012

Even though there's not a lot that's inspired looking to this trailer, the words "From the guy who brought you Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer" is enough for me to give this a shot. I will say, the visual style looks great. How does monster Robert Englund fit in here? Only time will tell...

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Netflix Instant Watch: "Deathdream" aka "Dead of Night" (1974)

Submitted by Carly on Thursday, Jan 26th 2012

A married couple receives the news that their son Andy has died in the line of duty during the Vietnam War. In a shocking twist they're informed that there was actually a mistake and their son is in fact alive! Hurray! Unfortunately, Andy comes back hungry for blood. Directed by Bob Clark, who also brought us the horror comedy "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things", "Black Christmas" and, oddly enough "A Christmas Story"... this one is worth a watch.

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Blood Splatter: A Guide to Cinematic Zombie Violence, Gore and Special Effects

Submitted by Casey on Thursday, Jan 26th 2012

Author Craig Chenery has released a new reference guide to zombie flicks with a special eye on their special effects and gore! With this sub-genre going super nova over the last few years, I'm positive Craig covers at least a few zombie flicks you haven't heard yet!

From the cover blurb:

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New Maylene and the Sons of Disaster Video Staring Danny Trejo

Submitted by Joe on Thursday, Jan 26th 2012

Earlier today my wife sent me a photo of Danny Trejo hanging out with Rihanna and now I stumble upon the new video for Maylene and the Sons of Disaster's song "Open your Eyes" which just so happens to star Mr. Trejo as well. I think it's safe to say that our favorite mustached Mexican is officially Hollywood's new "it" boy. Or something. I don't know, in the video below he plays a creepy guy who kidnaps women. Just like Brad Pitt use to.

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Horror Headlines: Wednesday, January 25th, 2012

Submitted by Joe on Wednesday, Jan 25th 2012

Tonight I'm going to Hooters with some former co-workers and I'm not going to lie, I had some trouble sleeping last night from all the excitement. I've been listening to the band Hatebreed all day getting myself pumped up for the big event. If you've never been and you think Hooters is depressing then I suggest you come to the one in NYC because you're 100% right. You see in a lot of locations Hooters gets really hot girls to work there but in the city there's really expensive restaurants where girls can get really big tips and not have to be harassed by drunk pricks downing wings.

How the hell the Germans have kept this clip from "Psycho" a secret for so long is beyond me but here it is, extended scenes from some of the film's classic shots that were apparently too hot for us American's back in the day but were A-OK for the Krauts. I wonder if they have the real ending for "The Sopranos" sitting around somewhere too.

"Snow Piercer" sounds like the name of a terrible cover band but it turns out it's the titled of Bong Joon-ho's new film. The movie tells the story of a group of people trapped on a train after the earth has been completely frozen. Who would you want as a fellow passenger on that train? If you said "Alien" alum John Hurt then you're in luck because he's been confirmed for the cast. If you said anyone other than him though you're kind of screwed.

Yesterday I told you how "The Crow" remake looks to be back on and today it appears a new writer and director have already been selected. Jesse Wigutow, who wrote some short films I will never see has been tapped to pen the script and F. Javier Gutierrez who directed "Before the Fall" which I'm 75% sure I saw will take the lead. Seriously, if you've never been to Hooters you should give it a shot. Their wings are so god damn good.

This can't be good news. It looks like that Lily Collins has officially dropped out from the lead role in the upcoming remake of "The Evil Dead". Apparently the drop out is because of "date issues". I assume this means she wants to go out on a date with me and just found out I'm married so she's too depressed to act. That's just my guess.

In Real People News: 

Managers of a park in England are toying with the idea of releasing honey bees in order to deter vandals from damaging historic buildings. I think the way this goes is they release the bees, then they need to release birds to eat the bees, then something else. It all ends with giant shark robots killing us all.

Here's a smart guy who decided to lock himself in an airplane bathroom and smoke some pot. I don't know if he also tried to tamper with the smoke detector but I'm pretty sure that alone will get you the chair.

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