Vin Diesel and his alter ego "Riddick" are finally set to return to theaters and IMax on September 6, 2013. For those of you who are stupid and not just sold by the name Vin Diesel, this chapter in the Riddick series finds the blind guy left for dead on a sun soaked planet fighting for survival. I swear I'd see a movie if they just called it "Vin Diesel Doing Things".
If you're like me, and I pray you're not, your big New Years Eve plans revolve around getting drunk in front of the TV and screaming at Ryan Seacrest. It's sad. But now those plans may need to be put on hold because FearNet has announced they'll be doing a 12 hour marathon of the classic HBO series "Tales From the Crypt" hosted by the Cryptkeeper himself. This marks the first time in 15 years that John Kassir has reprised his role as the funny dead-one to pump out new material. It will also be the first time in 4 years that I plan on trying to stay upright till at least 8 pm.
IFC has finally dropped a release date for the much anticipated, by me at least, documentary "My Amityville Horror". The flick is a look inside the murders and spooky-time events that took place at the famous house some 30+ years ago. It also marks the first time that Daniel Lutz, who was 10 at the time, has gone on record about the events. Oh, the release date is March 1st for VOD. I probably should of mentioned that earlier.
It looks like the US remake of the Chilean horror flick "Hidden In the Woods" has officially been picked up for a 2013 US release. The film follows two girls and their fight to escape the horror they've faced all their life while living under the rule of an evil drug lord. No word yet on a specific release date or what sort of distribution the flick will get but stay tuned. If any info happens to be posted on the random days I decide to do the news you'll be the first to know. Or not.
I've never seen a "Riddick" movie but I kind of love that they're still making them. This still comes from the latest, subtitled "Dead Man Stalking" (get it) which is currently in production with no release date yet. Seriously, Vin Diesel having a lot of time on his hands can't be good for anyone. Let us thank the heavens he has Riddick films to keep him busy.
This morning the bus stop I wait at smelled just like fresh baked bread. I can't explain to you how depressing it is knowing that the bus stop at 830am is going to be the highlight of my day.
I have no idea what a man is doing with the name "Kit" but "Game of Thrones" is awesome so I'm going to give Kit Harington a pass. I will however not give him a pass for signing on to a new exoticism flick titled "The Seventh Son". I will though give him a pass for being in an exoticism movie where Jeff Bridges plays the guy who trains old Kit on the art of driving out demons, catching witches and stopping boggarts. Confused? Me too man, me too.
Jack O'Connell, now that's a man's name. I've never seen a movie the guy has been in but I assume they're all about cutting down timber and drinking beer. Lucky for Alice Englert because they've both joined the cast of "Beautiful Creatures", a new supernatural thriller about two southern teens who uncover strange secrets about each other's families. Just say the name, O'Connell. Do you suddenly smell maple syrup too?
WWE hot boy David Bautista has been confirmed to be joing Vin Diesel in the upcoming flick "The Chronicles of Riddick: Dead Man Stalking". No word yet on what WWE's golden god will be doing in the film but my guess is he'll probably fight people and have very few lines of dialog. Maybe even Vin Diesel. God I can't wait to find out. I have no idea what a "WWE hot boy" is.
I have no idea why you'd need "Plan 9 From Outer Space" on Blu-Ray but the cult classic, along with 1960's "Little Shop Of Horrors" (the one without singing) will hit shelves on March 9th, just in time for Middle Name Pride Day. So.. umm... how about them Giants?
Ti West sounds like a rapper's name and for that reason I hate him. Now that we've gotten that out of the way here's the latest trailer for the directors new movie "The Innkeepers". The story revolves around two innkeepers who are determined to prove their inn is haunted before it closes its doors after being open for 100 years. It wouldn't hurt to toss in some bling and girls in booty shorts Ti. I'm just saying.
Norway is so hot right now. Not literally, I bet it's cold as hell over there right now. If you need proof just check out the trailer for "Dunderland" a new flick from the great fjords that follows a group of actors as they uncover the witchy secrets of an old abandoned Boy Scout camp. And by "Boy Scout" I assume they mean trolls because we all know Norway is 75% troll and 35% black metal fans. That's just simple math.
George R. R. Martin, author of "Games of Thrones", has made it ok for grown men to run around dressed up like they work at Medieval Times and not be mocked. For that I am pretty disappointed in him. But I love the show and in turn I am now excited to see that his book series "Wild Cards", which shows the effects of a alien virus outbreak in NYC, will be coming to the big screen.
If you're excited for the next installment of "The Chronicles of Riddick" series then you might be in trouble. Production on the film has been shut down in Montreal because One Race Films, which is owned by star Vin Diesel, have failed to pay for the studio where the film is being shot. If I was Vin I could blow something up then look at the camera and say "Check's in the mail" in a real bad ass voice. What am I saying, Vin Diesel only has one voice, bad ass.
In Real People News:
I think it's great when you take pride in your job. Yes, these two Dominos employees broke the law when they went over to Papa John's and torched the place but still, you got to admire their dedication to making hot fresh delicious pizza and destroying all who appose them. You got to.
Sometimes you have to take drastic actions when your old lady denies you money to go out drinking with the fellas. I'm not sure dousing her with gasoline and lighting her pillow on fire is the rout you should really go, but I have an ATM card and I've never run into the problem so I can't really say.
You read it here first. 2011 will be the year of Nicolas Cage. There's no denying it. He's got 47 films coming out including "Drive Angry" which now has a trailer for your viewing pleasure. The movie follows Nic as he angrily drives around looking for his daughters murderers. Then he drives some more.
According to Vin Diesel he's been tasked with having 3 different body types for this upcoming "The Chronicles of Riddick: Dead Man Stalking" flick. Of course he compared each of those types to his other movies and I've never once seen him look different in anything but what the hell do I know. Despite internet reports that have stated otherwise I won't spend my free time looking at Vin Diesel's washboard abs.
There's a new image, poster and synopsis for "Red Riding Hood". Don't bother clicking I'll explain them all. The pic is of Amanda Seyfried behind a tree, the poster is of Amanda Seyfried from far away and the synopsis is way to long for me to read but I assume the movie's going to be awful. You're welcome.
Finally here's the gals over at Team Unicorn, a group that I assumed was a number of things I can't mention here, have put together a video on how to deal with Zombies this holiday season titled "A Very Zombie Holiday". Adorable isn't it?
In Real People News:
Am I the only one who thinks flash mobs are just a bunch of assholes looking for an excuse to be clever? Well so do the folks at the Westfield Galleria in Roseville CA after they had to evacuate the mall because so many people showed up to do their stupid mob crap they thought the building might collapse.
We spoke earlier this week about the return of Vin Diesel to the "Riddick" franchise; plot details are starting to emerge. Expect back to basics with more monsters, which is always fun.
Roger Corman is heading back to the director's chair, teaming with the Syfy Channel for two epic features; "Dinoshark" and "Sharktopus". Sound horrible? Well of course it does! But that is Corman's bread and butter.
Jefferey Dean Morgan continues to grow his genre-cred as he joins Sam Worthington in "The Fields". This time around Morgan will be portraying a detective investigating Gulf area refineries for a murderer. Let's hope he does so as The Comedian.
Live in California? Love testicles? Well you're in luck, as Santa Cruz County is about to hold their first ever "testicle festival". At the festival, farmers and ranchers will be serving up all different kinds of animal nuts. Enjoy!
On this day in history:
1521: After an 80-day siege, Spanish conquistador Hernando Cortés captures Tenochtitlan, capital of the Aztec Empire. When the Spaniards fail to discover Montezuma's treasure, they torture Cuauhtemoc by pouring hot oil over his feet. The emperor responds by asking, "Am I on a bed of roses?" They hang him three years later.