stephen king

Horror Headlines: Monday August 26th, 2013

Let's just go ahead and accept that fact that I will most linky only write the news once this week. If by chance I end up doing more than that it's really just icing on the cake right? You're welcome.

Stephen King's "The Stand" is probably the longest book I've ever read. I started and stopped 3 times and it took me over a year but I am proud to say that I read it and have forgotten most of it. I'm 95% sure I loved it though. The point here is there's a film version of the novel in the works and Scott Cooper of "Crazy Heart" fame has been picked up as the director. Ben Affleck was originally set to take on the job but now he's playing Batman and pissing off everyone on the internet so his hands are pretty full. Of money! Am I right? "The Town" was great.

"X-Files" creator Chris Carter has dropped word that he has a solid idea for a third film and is waiting on Twentieth Century Fox to give him the green light. The third film would go back to the mythology of the original series and the alien invasion date which has now come and past. I for one would like to go back and explore the mythology that David Duchovny is dreamy. I'm not sure I'm using that word right.

I had no idea that "The Wicker Tree" was actually a follow up to the original "The Wicker Man" but I guess if I read my own news or did any sort of research on what I'm actually typing I would have. Good news here though is original creator Robin Hardy is moving forward with "Wrath Of the Gods", the third and final film in the series. No real details about the movie are available yet but he hopes to start filing in 2014 and plans to have this one focus on the gods that the islanders worship, rather than the offerings being sacrificed for them. I can't even lie, half the time I just read the title of the article and assume I know what's going on in the news.

I could have sworn this was already news but "All the Boys Love Mandy Lane" will finally see it's way to VOD on September 6th and selected theaters on October 11th. Seriously this already happened right? I'm positive I've already made every stupid comment I'm thinking of so just go back and read those. I bet they were hilarious.

In Real People News: 

A convenience store clerk in Connecticut has been critically injured after trying to stop two men from stealing a David Hasselhoff display in his store. Seems worth it doesn't it.

Bath salts are apparently a thing and this guy in Indiana went on a 90 minute rampage after he got all hopped up on 'em. Looks like battery, robbery, second-degree kidnapping, battery with the intent to commit a serious felony, cruelty to animals, malicious injury to property, and all kinds of other awesome fun is now on his list of offenses. Way to go buddy. Bring it back in a big way.

Book Review: Stephen King's Joyland

Revisiting his old ways, Stephen King’s newest novel, Joyland has the heart of that disenchanted college youth you once were and the fun you were bound to have in spite of your looming shortcomings.Joyland is a quick read that ticks you slowly up the top of that rickety rollercoaster just to plummet you headfirst into unseen curves and humps. A nostalgic ride through a lost summer, a first love, a mysterious new place and the sweat of a summer job, King haunts you with things you’ve tried to forget and then those things you yearn to remember.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday July 2nd, 2013

2012 saw a pretty hefty spike in exorcism films but there was something all of them were missing, Danny Trejo. The film is "The Cloth" and Trejo plays a priest that battles the forces of evil. Surprisingly the film won't be seeing a theater run but will be hitting DVD shelves on July 2nd. Which is apparently today so ya know. Go watch it or something.

Mare Winningham, who was in "Turner & Hooch " and that's all you need to know, has signed on for guest role on CBS' "Under the Dome". She'll play a caretaker who isn't what she's cracked up to be in the CBS series based on the Stephen King novel. I honestly don't remember what role she played in "Turner & Hooch" but man that was a great movie. She can't be bad can she?

Sunday nights season 8 premiere of "Dexter" on Showtime scored big ratings and now you can check out the episode on Youtube for free. For those of you not in the know this will be the last season of "Dexter" and Showtime is going all out to get folks onboard. Here's an idea on how to make people watch the show, cut the sexual tension between the bother and sister. I know I'd feel a lot more comfortable then. I don't care who's adopted it's creepy.

If you're looking for exciting behind the scenes shots from the set of "The Walking Dead" season 4 than you're in luck because AMC will be running a marathon of the series starting on July 4th sprinkled with set visits from Mr. Kevin Smith. I can't imagine what you're going to get about the upcoming season but I assume there will be some detailed reports on the Kraft services table. I'm sorry. It's all I got.

In Real People News: 

Nothing says love like your teenage son stabbing you in the chest because he decided he wanted to know what it was like to murder someone. Cause ya know, father son bonding and stuff.

Getting caught by a cop having sex in public is embarrassing. Getting caught by 25 cops having sex in public is super embarrassing. Getting caught by 25 cops while you're having sex with a potato in public is just the kind of crap that happens every day in Pennsylvania.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday April 30th, 2013

I know what you're asking yourself right now and here's the answer. If they ever make a "The Real Househusbands Of Chicago" and I'm cast on the show my tag line would be "I showered today, but you'd never know it".

"The Woman In Black: Angel Of Death", the sequel to the 2012 film which made me pee my pants, has cast Jeremy Irvine and Phoebe Fox in the film's leads roles. The film takes place four decades after the events of the first movie and follows a nurse trying to save a group of young children who are being taken out one by one by the woman in black. Am I the only one who sees a great opportunity for a follow up to the 1986 classic Chris de Burgh song "Lady In Red" here?

Gabourey Sidibe is the latest name to be added to the cast of the upcoming season of "American Horror Story: Coven: Based On a Novel By the Guy Who Created 'Glee'" (not the show's real name). No details on what kind of role she'll be playing but we do know that the third season of the show will also feature Kathy Bates and revolve around a witch coven so if I was to guess I'd say I still have no idea what type of role she'll play.

J.J. Abrams' production company Bad Robot appears to be hard at work on obtaining the rights to the big screen adaptation of Stephen King's "11/22/63". The book tells the story of a man who sets out to stop the assassination of John F Kennedy when he discovers that he can travel back in time. I'm pretty sure it's the longest book in the world and I've been reading it off and on for close to 6 months so my hope is that by the time the movie is picked up and made I will be close to finishing it.

"The Last Exorcism Part II" will hit DVD and Blu-Ray on June 18th, be chock full of extras, a commentary track and so much more. You shouldn't buy it.

In Real People News: 

Dennis McCauley, a find upstanding 64 year old man from Michigan, apparently lived for 6 months with the rotting corpse of his 72 year old trailer mate. I get it. Sometimes it's nice to just sit in silence with someone for a while.

It's hard to believe but a drunken gun training session that took place in a couple's Pennsylvania basement ended up with a husband dead and a wife being charged with manslaughter. No one could have seen it coming.

Horror Headlines: Monday April 15th, 2013

I'm not saying I did or didn't watch the MTV Movie Awards last night but if I did I'd really like someone to explain to me what the hell a Macklemore is and why that big guy who sings with them wears such tight shirts? I had a lot of trouble accepting I was an XL too but I'm pretty sure this guy is still trying to squeeze into a size small.

Morgan Freeman will not play god or the president in the upcoming sci-fi flick "Transcendence". The film tells the story of a scientist who's brain is uploaded into a computer after he is killed by terrorists. Truth be told it hasn't been revealed what role Freedman will play so there is still a solid chance he could play the president, god or some sort of god/president hybrid here. I just like to think outside the box now and then.

Sunn Classic Pictures has gone ahead and dropped word that they intend to move forward with a remake of the 1983 classic killer dog flick "Cujo". Based on a Stephen King story, Sunn Classic is the same group that released the original and decided to hold on to the rights to the picture in the hopes that in 20 years we'd be remaking every horror film ever made. Well planned fellas.

If you loved last year's surprise gushable fan boy favorite "Dredd 3D" then you're in luck because a sequel is currently in the works and will drop this September. Of course the sequel will be in comic book form and instead of being able to watch cool stuff fly around the screen you'll have to read words and look at tiny stupid drawn pictures but still. Ya know what no I can't even joke about this. This is just awful and only exciting to virgins.

"Stripped", a new horror flick set in Vegas has been confirmed to be hitting DVD this coming May 14th. The flick follows a group of friends who find themselves in the company of strippers who also happen to take the vital organs of their clients. I'll be honest this movie doesn't sounds very good and I'll most likely never see it but I will read just about any article that mentions strippers.

In Real People News: 

If you're going to make a big purchase you want to try out the goods before you put down your hard earned money. Weather it's a new car or a large band saw. Of course if you're this guy in Los Angeles and you're going to test out a saw by trying to chop off your arms you might want to ask for a private room or something. People don't want to see that crap when they're looking for a new ceiling fan.

I've learned a few things about sports here in Chicago since moving to the area and probably the best fact is that the Cubs suck and everyone here blames it on a goat. So why wouldn't a fan send a severed goat's head directly to Wrigley field in the hopes that it would break the curse. Or cause it to continue on maybe? I don't know what the thought process was really I just hope Norwegian black metal was involved.

Room 237 (REVIEW)

Room 237

As you probably know by now, the 2013 film “Room 237” is about “The Shining.” But it’s also about obsession, about people who have fallen into a rabbit hole in their minds and can’t get back out again. To them, Stanley Kubrick made more than just a horror film. Sounds interesting, right? As a big fan of “The Shining,” I was really looking forward to this analytical discussion, but unfortunately I found it a bit disappointing and tedious.

Horror Headlines: Thursday February 21st, 2013

I'm just going to come right out and say it. I don't get why people go ape shit for David Cronenberg's "Scanners". Yeah a guy's head explodes but that's within the first 15 minutes of the movie. Then there's another 167 (rough guess) of talking to sit through. None the less the 1981 film is finding its way onto a special edition Blu-Ray on April 8, 2013 and will be packaged with all kinds of special features for you to enjoy. Enjoy them as much as 647 minutes (rough guess) of people talking about something I don't honestly remember.

Apparently the Guillermo del Toro produced flick "Mama" did pretty well at the box office because not only is it being considered for a sequel but possibly even a franchise. I like to think there could even be spin offs in the future. "Dada" for instance. And then of course the wacky "Uncle Buck". Didn't see that coming did you.

The little screens adaptation of Stephen King's "Under the Dome" has landed itself Rachelle Lefevre as it's leading lady. For those of you not familiar with her work she was in one, and possibly all, of the "Twilight" movies so that makes her a big time movie screen person. That's a thing, I know it.

Remember Orlando Jones? He was in those Sprite commercials and then that movie with the guy from "X-Files" where aliens invade and then he was the weird hologram guy in "The Time Machine". I know I love him too. And now he's been cast in "Sleepy Hollow", a new show coming to Fox which is said to be a modern day take on the classic tale. I'm not joking either. I really do like him. I think he's super.

In Real People News: 

Valentine’s Day is a special day. It's a day when passions are high. So if you get into a fight with your loved one on that day it's pretty much a given that your tongue is going to get bitten off. Thank god that awful day is over.

Did you hear that scream? That's right, that's your neighbor coming home and finding her husband with another woman and then throwing boiling water at his crotch. I thought that was kind of obvious though.

Horror Headlines: Friday February 15th, 2013

Show of hands who's still climaxing? I know I am.

"Under the Dome", a new series coming to CBS that's based on the Stephen King novel about a town that finds itself enclosed in a transparent dome, has landed itself a bad guy in the form of Dean Norris. You might know Norris from his role on "Breaking Bad" or as 1st Scientist from the 1993 made for TV movie "Barbarians at the Gate". Probably from "Breaking Bad" though.

There's more horror shows coming to the boob tube than you could shake a stick at but one of the first to be announced is "Hannibal", a new series about a detective and the famous man-eater he enlists to help him track down a psychopath. Sounds pretty dandy and now NBC has confirmed an airing date of April 4th has been announced so it looks like we won't have to wait to long to get all fava beany. On a side note, don't ever shake a stick at your TV. You'll look like a crazy person.

I think I blocked out the fact that Universal is rebooting "The Mummy" franchise because I don't think Brendan Fraser is going to be in it and a Mummy film without Brendan Fraser is no Mummy movie I want to see. Now it looks like the big boys are sick of waiting for "Prometheus" writer Jon Spaihts to come up with a script so they hired Billy Ray to come up with one of his own at the same time. I guess the reasoning is one of them will come up with a script sometime soon so why not give it a go. I only hope they end up adding more writers to the pool and I get my chance. Keep your fingers crossed, Brendan.

I've never seen a single Michael Armstrong film but apparently he's the bees knees and people will be all excited to find out he's coming out of retirement to direct "Orphanage", a new film that isn't the remake of another film I haven't seen for completely different reasons. We really got to know each other today didn't we. I love you.

In Real People News: 

The rules of a 3 way are very strict and it's completely understandable that if you break them you're going to get stabbed. This is North Dakota folks.

I'll be honest the idea of a 3 year old pumping gas is kind of adorable to me and I think this woman facing charges for letting her little bundle of joy do just that might be getting f'ed over. Then again I guess the point that there's video of the kid spraying himself gasoline so who can really tell if it's right or wrong.

Horror Headlines: Monday January 27th, 2013

Three years ago yesterday I wrote my first news post for the good folks at Bloody Good Horror. I assume the card got lost in the mail or something.

So last week we talked about how the "Zombieland" TV series will be made available via amazon in the not to distant future and now we know that Eli Craig is in talks to direct. For those of you who don't know Eli he's the guy who wrote and directed "Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil". No word on any of the cost for the show but if I know the guy who was in the original movie and then went on to play the Facebook kid like I think I do he's probably sitting at home thinking, "Ya know I'd like to just do a show that can only be seen on a website that people don't know you can watch shows on. Sign me up for that."

Britt Robertson, who was apparently in "Scream 4" and is not a stripper, has landed a role in the upcoming television adaptation of Stephen King's "Under the Dome". For those of you not familiar with the story it's pretty much "The Simpsons" movie but with less yellow. Robertson will play a young waitress with dreams of getting out of her hometown. Oh man imagine if a giant dome trapped her in that very same town she wants to leave? That would make an awesome show.

It looks like Magnolia Pictures has picked up the rights to "S-VHS", the follow up to 2012's anthology flick "V/H/S". This time around the story follows private investigators who are searching for a number of missing people and stumble upon a group of tapes in a abandoned house. A bunch of directors I've never heard of are on board for the film but I'm awful with names so they might be well known. I might sit next to one of them at work. Wouldn't that be weird?

IFC has dropped a March 28th release date for "Room 237", a new documentary that focuses on the making of Stanley Kubrick’s classic flick "The Shining". There's really nothing funny I can say about that so let's just call it a day shell we?

In Real People News: 

I always got nervous around parent teacher conference time but this kid went to the next level and faked being kidnapped in order to stop his parents from going to their talk with his teacher. Yes he got caught but now when his parents finally do go and find out he's flunking math or whatever he can use the "well at least I didn't say I got kidnapped again" excuse. He's kind of a genius.

Every parent wants their child to do well in school but this Minnesota man who pointed an AK-47 at his daughter for bringing home a a report card with 2 B's might be going a bit overboard. D's maybe, but B's is a threaten with a butcher knife type thing tops.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday January 16th, 2013

It's a known fact that anytime Danny Trejo makes out with a girl half his age an angel gets its wings. So good news for all the flightless people in the big upstairs because "Machete Kills" has finally been slapped with a September 13, 2013 release date. Watching him make out is without a doubt one of the most upsetting and inspiring things the human eye can see.

If there's one thing we can all agree on it's that the original "The Crazies" was awful and the 2010 remake was awesome. There is not a single person on this planet who can argue that. Well the guy who co-wrote the retelling, Ray Wright, has just signed on the pen the script to "The Widow". The film follows a younger woman who befriends a older widow only to find that their meeting was not a coincidence. Sounds frighting already. Old people you know. You can see their veins.

The US remake of the Chilean flick "Hidden In the Woods" has landed itself one half of the Babysitter Twins duo in the form of Electra Avellan. No word on if her sister will join the cast but the a story of two sisters fighting to escape the prison like environment they've been raised in, so I mean they need a sister right? If not I hope they got the one with the least unintelligible accent.

Youngster Colin Ford has been added to the cast of "Under the Dome", a Stephen King and Steven Spielberg collaboration currently set for a 13 episode run on CBS starting this June. Based on King's novel the series is set in a small town whose residents discover they've been trapped by a mysterious barrier. I hope there's a Taco Bell in the town. I mean no tacos? I'd be all like, "you gotta get this barrier to go away. I need tacos!"

In Real People News: 

I have no idea how this happens but a woman in Sweden figured out a way to crash a train into a house. You almost have to be impressed with that kind of thing. Almost.

If you lost a shipment of 18 human heads recently I've got some good news. They've turned up at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport and can be picked up at your earliest convince. You're welcome.

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