the walking dead

Horror Headlines: Thursday May 9th, 2013

Submitted by Eric on Thursday, May 9th 2013

Eric here, filling in for Joe again. Seriously, if we actually paid him he'd be fired by now...

Stop the presses, you mean to tell me that Gary Oldman and Kerri Russel are both in "Dawn of the Planet of the apes"??? There's also a full official synopsis at the link but I think we all know I've given you the important news... that you probably already knew. I should do this every day.

"Jurassic Park 4" has been pushed to "a later date" according to Universal, who declined to elaborate on exactly what that means. This gives me more time to watch the sequels, of which I have seen zero. I have seen "Carnosaur" though, which isn't canon but I think counts anyway.

The guys who brought you the Walking Dead game last year that was actually good, Telltale Games, are working on a game based on a werewolf comic book adaptation next. Here's hoping I don't have to make the choice of whether or not I have enough food to feed the small children in my care. That pretty much put me off that game for good. It was too real man, too real...

I haven't taken an informal poll on this, but am I the only person that loved "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter"? Either way, Dominic Cooper, who played a smooth talking vampire friend to Honest Abe in that film has signed on to another vampire film, Universal's "Dracula". You know, the one that isn't actually about Dracula, instead focusing on the Vlad the Impaler mythos. Either way, I hope there's an axe with silver melted onto it. (does anyone even get that reference??)

In Real People News:

"My husband draws the line at having sex with a troll mask on" Joe tells me this all the time. I don't know why he can't just open his heart.

Have you guys heard about the giant, meningitis carrying, African snails invading Florida? If you're into stomach churning news articles, this subject is for you.

Ever wonder what an X-ray of a harpoon that went into someone's head looks like? No? Then definitely do not click on that link. Seriously. Don't.

Horror Headlines: Friday April 12th, 2013

Submitted by Eric on Friday, Apr 12th 2013

Hey guys, your Editor-in-Chief here filling in for Joe on the news. This desk smells...

This Bluray artwork for John Carpenter's "The Fog" is delightful. Hal Holbrook's 'stache is simply breathtaking.

Michael Cane has joined the cast of Brad Anderson's ("Session 9") next film, "Eliza Graves". The story is loosely based on Edgar Allan Poe's early short story "The System of Doctor Tarr and Professor Fether". I assume Cane will play one of those two guys, right? Or maybe a butler. Is there a butler?

Glen Mazzara, a one-time show runner on "The Walking Dead", is developing a prequel to "The Shining" over at Warner Bro's. This is actually… a good idea. I know, I'm as surprised as you are.

"Highrise" is described as "Misery" in a Manhattan Skyscraper". I assume it's about Schnaars and a mentally unbalanced BGH fan. If Hollywood needs any advice, I have many casting suggestions.

I have no idea what "R.I.P.D." is about, but if the still above is in any way indicative of the film. Sign me up.

In Real People News:

Are you freakout out about the first major Cicada breakout in the Northeast in 17 years? Have no fear, turns out they're delicious. You're welcome.

This Orthodox Jewish man wore a plastic bag over his whole body on a flight to protect himself from the dirty, dirty women flying with him. Religion is hilarious you guys.

Ever wonder why monkey's butt's are so colorful?. Well, there you go. Science is the best.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday March 13th, 2013

Submitted by Joe on Wednesday, Mar 13th 2013

"Byzantium" sounds like an awesome Norwegian black metal band but it is in fact Neil Jordan's upcoming flick about two vampires who befriend a young girl. The film has just been slapped with a June 28th release date in limited theaters and VOD. My only hope is there's at least some corpse paint or a lanky kid who wears a ratty leather jacket. Something!

Lindsay Seim, who you might remember from... well I have no idea actually, has been confirmed to be staring in "Insidious: Chapter 2", the upcoming sequel to the 2010 much loved hit. Seim will be playing the younger version of Elise Rainer, the voodoo high priestess from the original flick. At least I think that's what she was. She spoke funny words and claimed to be able to communicate with the dead so lets call a spade a spade.

Curtis Gwinn and Channing Powell have been added to the writing team for season 4 of "The Walking Dead". Maybe they can finally write in some smiles for the gang? It can't possibly be true that not one person has cracked some pearlies since the zombie outbreak happened.

Writer Seth Grahame-Smith took to his tweets to drop a bomb that leads one to believe that he's about to put pen to paper on "Beetlejuice 2". The picture shows our favorite beetled one standing in front of a Mac with the caption "It's showtime". A clever little setup that probably took about the same time it would have taken him to write a few pages worth of the new script. But hey take your time. It hasn't even been 30 years yet.

In Real People News:

Who hasn't seen a porn where the prison guard and the hot inmate go nutso for some extra fruit cocktail at the lunch line? No one I know. But a story about a guard trading an inmate cookies for sex... Something just seems sleazy about that.

Who doesn't find a picture of a little baby holding a beer bottle adorable? It's funny because they can't drink! A video of a 2 year old smoking out of a bong though... that'll get your ass tossed into jail

Horror Headlines: Thursday January 3rd, 2013

Submitted by Joe on Thursday, Jan 3rd 2013

Neve Campbell recently broke the silence around the possibility of a "Scream 5", and whoa daddy is it a big bomb that she dropped. Neve said, and you might want to sit down for this, that "I'm not sure they’re going to make it". I know right? Exciting. Wait there's more. She went on to say that if approached about the film she'd "have a chat with them about it". There you have it. The film might not happen, but if it does she might be interested in talking about it.

Big news about "The Host 2", the sequel to the much loved Korean monster flick, has dropped on the tubes and I'm going to throw up I'm so excited to tell you about it. Word has it that Park Myung-chun will make his directorial debut with the film that has been slapped with a summer 2014 release date. If you hate subtitles, you now have about a year and a half to learn Korean.

Go punch someone in the face, kids, because the second half of season 3 of "The Walking Dead" hits the boob tube next month and a brand spankin new trailer has hit the interwebs. I don't think it really shows much, but if we're being honest I watched it with the sound muted because the wife and I are pretty hooked on "Friday Night Lights". Yeah it went off the air a few years back, but we're finally watching it on Netflix. It's really good. You should check it out.

I don't really know what this means because the trailer actually looked kind of good, but the "Carrie" remake has apparently been pushed from a March release date all the way to October 18th of this year. I like to think that the filmmakers are just trying to be nice because they know it's cold as crap in March and they'd rather I not have to leave the house. So, thanks guys.

In Real People News:

If there's one thing that can really ruin a friendship it's shooting down a threesome offer with your friend's wife. Attacking your friend with a baseball bat after he shoots down the threesome offer can also ruin a friendship. There's a lot of things that can mess it up really. The world's an imperfect place.

Ah boy. I don't want to judge because I can't honestly say this isn't something I couldn't have done myself, but this father in Florida who left his 11 month old baby at a strip club might be the worst dad in the world.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday December 26th, 2012

Submitted by Joe on Wednesday, Dec 26th 2012

I will literally believe anything Paul Giamatti tells me. He could walk up to me right now and tell me the sky is green and I'd high five him and say, "Right on! I love your movies". So if he tells me that "Bubba Nosferatu: Curse of the She-Vampires" is still going to happen then I believe him. The film would be a sequel to 2002's "Bubba Ho-tep" and Giamatti would play Colonel Parker, the former manager of Elvis. How awesome would it be to have Giamatti as your personal life manager? Just wake up and he tells you what to eat and stuff? He's not in the best shape so that might not work out but still. He seems like a nice guy.

Good news kids. "The Walking Dead" has officially been picked up by AMC for a fourth season. But there's some bad news also here. Glen Mazzara, the guy who replaced Frank Darabont as the shows driver, has left the show as well. No word yet on who will replace him but word on campus is the reason for the split is a difference of opinion between Mazzara and AMC. Really just makes me think how happy I am that Eric and I came to an agreement on who should be the drunk one on the podcast pretty quickly.

I'm just going to come right out and say it. I love the movie "Mean Girls". I guess a lot of people do though so I'm not really admitting anything crazy here. Whatever, I'm sorry I let you into my soul now. The reason I bring up the film is because it's director, Mark Helmer, has been tapped to direct a new coming of age vampire flick titled "Vampire Academy". Based on the book with the same name the story tells the tale of a young lass who travels to a hidden school where she learns the ways of a special breed of vampires who can walk in the daylight. Honestly this sounds like some sort of Skinamax flick and I pray they land Lindsay Lohan as the lead.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday October 24th, 2012

Submitted by Joe on Wednesday, Oct 24th 2012

Wes Bentley, the weird guy from "American Beauty" and Francesca Eastwood, the weird girl from Clint Eastwood's loins have both been added to the cast of "Final Girl" a new revenge flick about a girl who flips the script on a group of high school guys who hunt and kill girls. Is this what kids do these days? Doesn't anyone just smoke pot in the woods anymore?

Danny Trejo in a movie called "Zombie Hunter"... oh god it's finally happening. You shouldn't need to know the plot to be excited but in case you do I'll just tell you that Trejo plays a priest named Jesus who finds himself in the middle of a zombie apocolypse thanks to a new drink that's hit the streets. And I know what your wondering and I can tell you that yes there is a clown with a chainsaw.

So there's a "The Walking Dead" magazine now? Sounds interesting but between my subscription to Tiger Beat and 17 my monthly magazine reading plate is completely full. The rest of you in the US can pick up a copy at your local news stands now, the UK on November 8 and Australia and New Zealand on December 18. Apparently no other countries matter.

With a feature film in the works based on the West Memphis 3 it stands to reason that there should be a TV series based on Joe Berlinger, the director of "Paradise Lost", a documentary based on the arrest and trial of 3 teenagers convicted of murder. The show has been picked up by Fox and is being lead by Margaret Nagle, the writer/producer of HBO's "Boardwalk Empire". As long as Henry Rollins isn't added to the cast I'm game.

In Real People News:

This guy just got busted for identity theft. I want you to look at the photo and try to guess how they knew he was BS'ing them.

Yes I was arrested for shoplifting in the Mall of America but the real bad news is I was also busted for smoking heroin with my 12 year old daughter. I know it's a real crap day.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday October 16th, 2012

Submitted by Joe on Tuesday, Oct 16th 2012

If you liked "Sinister", and it seems like a lot of you did, then you're going to be excited to find out that the film's director Scott Derrickson has been tapped to bring Stephan King's "The Breathing Method" to life. The story follows a woman who becomes obsessed with a child birthing method that a doctor teaches her while she's pregnant with her illegitimate child. It's a Rom-Com? I didn't know King wrote those.

Did you watch "The Walking Dead" season premiere on Sunday night? Of course you did. Everyone in the world did apparently because it set a new record for a basic cable premier, with over 10.9 million people tuning in. That doesn't even take into account the folks who hunkered down to watch the flick on DVR later that night. Or the people who DVRed with hopes of watching it that evening but instead spent an hour in their daughter's room begging her to just go to sleep only to have her laugh in their face. Those people should count.

IFC has picked up the distribution rights to every country in the world for "Would You Rather", a new film about a group of people who are invited to a wealthy man's house and forced to play a game where the winner will become rich. Jeffrey Combs and Sasha Grey star in the flick, with a gaggle of others, which should be fun because I can't imagine there's anything Grey wouldn't do on film for money. Ya know, because she does porn and stuff. She gets paid to have sex on camera is what I mean.

James Wan recently dropped some knowledge on the state of the "Insidious" sequel. Apparently no story has been finalized but Wan is making a conscious effort to stay connect to the project and not let it stray from his original vision. So that's good news? We're excited? I'm Ron Burgundy?

In Real People News:

Hey honey, does this tuna fish sandwich taste a little bit like human? Why yes it does! Because a Bumble Bee tuna factory worker got cooked in the plant's ovens by accident recently.

There's a lot of places you can discard your tampon but on your mother's counter top should not be one of them. You should also not try to attack your mother with a butcher knife when she confronts you about it. Her house her rules you know.

Snapshots: "The Walking Dead" Season 3 is almost here!

Submitted by Eric on Sunday, Sep 30th 2012

"The Walking Dead" season 3 is about to begin! Check out 50 hi-res images from the new season, and don't forget to check out AMC'S zombie epic starting October 14th.

Horror Headlines: Monday, July 16th, 2012

Submitted by Joe on Monday, Jul 16th 2012

I'm sorry I've been MIA for a couple days. I just had a lot going on. A wedding, my child's first birthday party and a house full of out of town guests. Look I said I'm sorry! You know I don't get paid for this right? I do this out of the kindness of my heart. You should get down on your knees and kiss my feet every day you get to enjoy my news. Look I'm sorry, that last part might have been a little bit too far. God I said I'm sorry! What do you want from me?! You're such a prick sometimes!

We're a few months away from Halloween but the good folks overt at Universal Studios have dropped word that both "The Walking Dead" and "Silent Hill" will be featured in this year's Halloween Horror Nights. No word yet on what the attractions will be just yet but if I was to guess I'd think for "The Walking Dead" you'll just chase a little kid around a farm for 2 hours and eventually get killed because his stupid ass won't stay in the house.

Despite earlier word that there was no chance in hell the film was going to happen it looks like Guillermo del Toro is very much looking forward to making "Hellboy 3". In a recent interview the ever busy director let loose that him and Ron Perlman are together and trying to make the flick happen. He also went on to say that he's still very much interested in making "At The Mountains Of Madness". He also confirmed that there is in fact an Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and he owns a Unicorn.

The good folks over at Showtime are teaming up with the gang that brought you "Hung" for a new supernatural thriller series titled "Sleep No More". No word on filming or air dates but the series will focus on a small town where the dead continue to return from the grave. I can't stop giggling over "Hung".

"Community" star Gillian Jacobs has signed on to costar with Ken Marino in a new horror/comedy titled "Milo". The project follows Duncan, played by Marino, a guy who thinks he has a demon living inside his stomach that's causing all his ailments. I thought the same thing the last time I ate at Denny's. Moons Over My Hammy. Am I right?

In Real People News:

I know I've only been a parent for a year now but I'd like to think I'll never get to the point where I lock my little bundle of joy in a chicken coop and force her to wear a shock collar. I mean I can't say for 100% sure it won't happen. I just like to think I'll never get there.

A 27 year old California woman is under arrest after she attacked her boyfriend for bringing her the wrong beer. I'm not saying I support domestic violence but sometimes I think the law should go light on people. Just saying.

Horror Headlines: Thursday, May 17th, 2011

Submitted by Joe on Thursday, May 17th 2012

If there's one thing I think of when people mention the crowd at Comic-Con it's "these guys love to exercise". So everyone will be in for a treat this July when the The Walking Dead Escape: San Diego is unveiled to celebrate the comics 100th issue. Visitors will be able to play the role of a zombie, a survivor or a spectator in an evacuation zone. I can already hear the wheezing and smell the BO.

Hold the phones folks, Eli Roth is going to direct a movie. It's called "The Green Inferno" and I have no idea what it's about but it's going to be filming in Chili and Roth co-wrote the screenplay with Guillermo Amoedo. Did you hold your phone? You really don't get the full effect unless you're holding your phone right now.

Dimension Films has picked up the rights to "Compulsion", a new film starting Heather Graham and Carrie-Anne Moss. Remember the joke I made about Carrie-Anne Moss earlier in the week? Man that was funny huh? Anyway no release date has been announced for the remake of a Japanese film about two neighbors who find themselves on the opposite sides of the luck pole. I don't know if there's such a thing as a luck pole but I wish I had thought of that when I was single. Think about it.

John Cusack and Elijah Wood in the same movie? Oh my lukewarm excitement. The film is called "The Grand Pioano" and Cusack is just in talks right now but the film is about a pianist who finds a note saying he'll die if he plays one note wrong. Wood will play the pianist and Cusack the lovable geek who ends up getting the girl. That might be a lie.

In Real People News:

A Wisconsin man has taken to picketing at an all you can eat buffet after he was cut off from the food line when he devoured 12 plates full during their fish fry night. Normally I think protesting is stupid and useless but in this case I fully support this man. You've got to stand for something.

A 67 year old man may have possibly died in the greatest way possible, at a strip club. More importantly he died at a strip club after getting a night full of lap dances and before he paid his tab. Dare to dream.