"Byzantium" sounds like an awesome Norwegian black metal band but it is in fact Neil Jordan's upcoming flick about two vampires who befriend a young girl. The film has just been slapped with a June 28th release date in limited theaters and VOD. My only hope is there's at least some corpse paint or a lanky kid who wears a ratty leather jacket. Something!
Lindsay Seim, who you might remember from... well I have no idea actually, has been confirmed to be staring in "Insidious: Chapter 2", the upcoming sequel to the 2010 much loved hit. Seim will be playing the younger version of Elise Rainer, the voodoo high priestess from the original flick. At least I think that's what she was. She spoke funny words and claimed to be able to communicate with the dead so lets call a spade a spade.
Curtis Gwinn and Channing Powell have been added to the writing team for season 4 of "The Walking Dead". Maybe they can finally write in some smiles for the gang? It can't possibly be true that not one person has cracked some pearlies since the zombie outbreak happened.
Writer Seth Grahame-Smith took to his tweets to drop a bomb that leads one to believe that he's about to put pen to paper on "Beetlejuice 2". The picture shows our favorite beetled one standing in front of a Mac with the caption "It's showtime". A clever little setup that probably took about the same time it would have taken him to write a few pages worth of the new script. But hey take your time. It hasn't even been 30 years yet.
In Real People News:
Who hasn't seen a porn where the prison guard and the hot inmate go nutso for some extra fruit cocktail at the lunch line? No one I know. But a story about a guard trading an inmate cookies for sex... Something just seems sleazy about that.
Who doesn't find a picture of a little baby holding a beer bottle adorable? It's funny because they can't drink! A video of a 2 year old smoking out of a bong though... that'll get your ass tossed into jail
Wednesday is hump day my friends. Look around your office and do what you have to do.
Good news kids! A 5 minute clip of the upcoming little screen adaptation of Stephen king's "Bag Of Bones" has made it's way online. The miniseries focuses on a grief stricken husband who returns to the lakeside house him and his wife owned while dealing with a bitter custody battle. I want to be 100% honest. The download instructions for this clip confused the hell out of me so I didn't watch it. I want this relationship to be built on honesty.
The majority of the "Evil Dead" news flying around these days is mostly just interviews with people attached to the flick saying it's going to be awesome and fans will be happy. But today, today my friends, on this glorious of all hump days, we have news that director Fede Alvarez is planning on taking the show to New Zealand to begin filming in March. And if a bunch of sheep herders with strange accents doesn't ring true to the original "Evil Dead" I don't know what does.
If you love David Cronenberg then you're going to have somewhat pleasant feelings towards his son Brandon Cronenberg and his new project "Antiviral". Proof is in the first still we're getting today from the film that follows an employee at a clinic that sells injections of live viruses harvested from sick celebrities to obsessed fans. Don't let the fact bother you that the guy in the photo has a pony tail and by definition anyone with a pony tail is a prick. Please, let's try to be adults about this.
Honestly the only reason we're going to discuss these set picks from Neil Jordan's "Byzantium" if because I find them so confusing. They're of Gemma Arterton, who plays a vampire in the flick, prancing around the coast of Ireland in a red dress with all her goods hanging out. Sounds awesome I know but then you get to the final shot of some strange PA who appears to be examining Arterton's lady bits. I have so many feeling going on inside me right now I'm not sure what to do. I'm laughing and crying at the same time. I think it's best we call it a day.
In Real People News:
Here's a story about a fashion model in Texas who has been seriously injured after she walked into a plane propeller. Are you laughing right now? Congratulations! You're officially a monster.
Do not mess with the fire department in Tennessee. Or at least don't forget to pay the 75$ annual fee you owe to them. Because they will come to your house while it's burning and watch that giant trailer you call a home go up in flames. At least they didn't roast marshmallows. That would just be in poor taste.