Neve Campbell recently broke the silence around the possibility of a "Scream 5", and whoa daddy is it a big bomb that she dropped. Neve said, and you might want to sit down for this, that "I'm not sure they’re going to make it". I know right? Exciting. Wait there's more. She went on to say that if approached about the film she'd "have a chat with them about it". There you have it. The film might not happen, but if it does she might be interested in talking about it.
Big news about "The Host 2", the sequel to the much loved Korean monster flick, has dropped on the tubes and I'm going to throw up I'm so excited to tell you about it. Word has it that Park Myung-chun will make his directorial debut with the film that has been slapped with a summer 2014 release date. If you hate subtitles, you now have about a year and a half to learn Korean.
Go punch someone in the face, kids, because the second half of season 3 of "The Walking Dead" hits the boob tube next month and a brand spankin new trailer has hit the interwebs. I don't think it really shows much, but if we're being honest I watched it with the sound muted because the wife and I are pretty hooked on "Friday Night Lights". Yeah it went off the air a few years back, but we're finally watching it on Netflix. It's really good. You should check it out.
I don't really know what this means because the trailer actually looked kind of good, but the "Carrie" remake has apparently been pushed from a March release date all the way to October 18th of this year. I like to think that the filmmakers are just trying to be nice because they know it's cold as crap in March and they'd rather I not have to leave the house. So, thanks guys.
In Real People News:
If there's one thing that can really ruin a friendship it's shooting down a threesome offer with your friend's wife. Attacking your friend with a baseball bat after he shoots down the threesome offer can also ruin a friendship. There's a lot of things that can mess it up really. The world's an imperfect place.
Ah boy. I don't want to judge because I can't honestly say this isn't something I couldn't have done myself, but this father in Florida who left his 11 month old baby at a strip club might be the worst dad in the world.
I had completely forgotten that there is a "Poltergeist" remake in the works but there is and Sam Raimi is producing the crap out of it with his Ghost House company. But who will direct!? Well according to the film's writer, David Lindsay-Abaire, Raimi will take on that role also and I for one believe him. He's got a freakin Pulitzer for F sake. Yuu going to call him a liar?
Want to see Wes Craven's "Scream" on the big screen this Halloween season? Me either but that jackass sitting across from you on the bus probably wants to so it's going to be there starting next week in selected theaters across this great nation. Just look at that guy sitting there, eating those Triscuits. God I want to punch him in the face.
I've never read a Dean Koontz book but his last name always makes me giggle like a school girl. And now I have absolutely no reason to read his book "Frankenstein Will Not Die" because the folks over at TNT are looking to turn it into a TV show. The show will be set in New Orleans and follow the famous doctor and his monster 200 years after it was created. See, if you wait long enough all written words will be turned into moving pictures.
Good news, Brian De Palma has confirmed that he is ok with Kimberly Peirce and her remake of the classic film "Carrie". I had always assumed all these people making remakes went to the original writers, directors and actors to get their approval before they even got started. Who knew.
In Real People News:
Ever find yourself at the gas station and think, what would happen if I just turned this nozzle on the guy next to me and lite him up like a roman candle? Well this guy in Las Vegas not only thought that but he went ahead and did it. Wait you really think that sort of stuff? You might want to get help.
You know what movie I totally forgot was coming? That's right, the remake of Stephen King's "Carrie"! All things considered, nothing in this trailer screams 'bad.' Then again, it doesn't really show anything much besides Chloe Grace Moretz covered in blood. Considering that "Carrie covered in blood" is one of the most iconic shots in horror movie history, they would be pretty stupid to not include it in the promotion of the remake.
Just in case you don't have Netflix, a DVD player, a VHS player or the internet... FEARnet has decided to start showing "Tales From the Crypt" starting October 5th.
I had no idea that A&E was making a "Bates Motel" TV movie but I've been huffing a lot of paint lately so I've missed some things. But this is a thing and it's happening and I guess Freddie Highmore was always cast as Norman a while back so today I'm here to tell you that Olivia Cooke and Nicola Peltz have both joined the cast. I think I missed my fantasy football draft also. I hope no one picked up The Fridge yet.
Still holding out hope for a third installment in the "28 Days Later" saga titled "28 Months Later"? Well writer/producer Alex Garland says it isn't going to happen. So piss off.
If you want to get your beady little eyes on some clips from the "Evil Dead" and "Carrie" remakes then you're going to want to get your ass on a plane and come to NY Comic Con because both will premiere footage there on October 13th. I mean I guess if you live in Jersey you don't need to take a plane. That would be silly. Would you fly from Newark to JFK? I'm not even sure that's possible. Think for once in your life you freakin jackass.
In Real People News:
A 480 pound Ohio man is looking to have his execution delayed because he claims at his weight lethal injection would cause a slow and cruel death. If this works out I assume death row will suddenly become a big group of giant fat asses.
There's a new trailer for the "Total Recall" remake out but that's not the big news here. The big news is that in the trailer we have 100% confirmation that there's a 3 boobied hooker. I know, I can barely type I'm so excited. This might be the greatest day in the history of the world.
There can only be one "Highlander"! Well actually there can be multiple. There was for sure a sequel and now there's a remake of the 1986 cult classic that I've never seen. But I might see the remake, because Ryan Reynolds has been confirmed to be taking the lead in the film. I'm not going to go into why I will see it now because of him. I don't have to explain myself to you.
Sing this with me. I... like... movies with Danny Trejo. Charlie Sheen playing the president. And.. AND... TWINS! Remember those commercials?! Well I do and I'm talking about Elise and Electra Avellan being added to the cast of "Machete Kills". For those of you who don't follow the work of Robert Rodriguez the Avellan twins were those two girls from "Planet Terror" and the original "Machete" flick. Your move, 3 boobied alien.
For those of you who have been waiting with baited breath for the new "Carrie" remake I have the honor or breaking the news to you that production has officially begun in Toronto. For those of you who love freedom and hate maple syrup I have to misfortune of telling you that the "Carrie" remake has begun production in Toronto.
In Real People News:
Here's a Seattle man who loves flashing so much that he stopped off on his way to court to flash some people. What was he on his way to court for? Well if I have to tell you that then you probably don't get any of my comic wit now do you.
When you're a pizza delivery lady and you come back to your car after making a drop off to find a naked man attacking your car and claiming it's his it's really best to just let him do his thing. That's just sound advice if you ask me.
I've worked in NYC for over 12 years now and every day on my way to work I pass these guys selling tickets for double decker sightseeing bus tours of the city. They pretty much stand there and attack any couple that looks like they're on vacation. I have waited 12 years for someone to ask me to skip work, hop on a bus and take in all this fine city has to offer, but not once have I been approached. I dress like a homeless person so it wouldn't be out of the realm of possibilities that I'm just wandering around the city aimlessly, so why not ask me?
I swear to god I hate "True Blood" but for some reason I can't stop talking about casting and updates and god knows what other info they release. Like Robert Patrick joining the cast for next season as Alcide Herveaux's father. He's a wolf for those of you not in the know. I know because my wife constantly says "That guy who plays Alcide Herveaux on 'True Blood', I'd leave you for him." Seriously. Sometimes it's the last thing she says to me before I leave for work and the first thing she says when I get home. I cry at night sometimes.
If you're an avid listener of the BGH podcast (AKA not a prick) then you know we went gaga over Joe Cornish's "Attack the Block" last year. Well our loose fitting boxers are all in tizzy with the news that Joe has been confirmed to be tackling the big screen adaptation of "Snow Crash" for his next project. The book is set in the future where corporations rule the world and a strange computer virus is killing people. I hope they still listen to KRS-One in this future.
Judy Greer and Portia Doubleday have been added to the cast of the upcoming "Carrie" remake. Portia, which is a stupid name, will play play the meany Chris Hargensen while Judy will play a gym teacher in the rehash of the Stephan King classic. The stupid name comment is the best thing I can come up with for this one. It's been a long week.
For those of you who have been itching to own 1987's "Chillers" on DVD, the good people at Troma have answered your prayers. The disc will be released on September 11 and be chock full of trailers and other goods. Well all I really know about is the trailer being on there, but I assume there's got to be more. There's just got to be!
Good old Florida. Home of this woman who gathered a group of teenagers, forced them to cut themselves so their demons could escape and then had them close the cuts by burning themselves over a fire so the demons couldn't get back in. That and Disneyworld.
Does everyone hate Sacha Baron Cohen now? Is that the new thing? I'm on board I guess.
Isabelle Fuhrman will always be the creepy little girl from "Orphan" to me. Except when I read "Orphan" quickly and think it says Oprah. Then I just get really really confused. Especially when I read Oprah is going to be starring the "Suspiria" remake. So just to recap, Oprah is not starring in remake of Dario Argento's classic film "Suspiria". Isabelle Fuhrman who was in "Orphan" will be. And they're both creepy. but for different reasons.
The cast of the "Carrie" remake looks to be shaping up nicely with both Alex Russell and Ansel Elgort in talks to take on roles in the film. I have no idea who either of those guys are and I think one of them does Broadway crap so I'm kind of happy about that. Good talk huh?
"Contagion" writer Scott Z. Burns has been tapped to pen the script for the upcoming sequel to 2011's "Rise of the Planet of the Apes". Rupert Wyatt, who directed the first film will also take the director's chair this time around. Also, Andy Serkis, who jumped around in a suit to bring Caesar the ape to life will return and most likely spawn a bunch of ridiculous talk that a guy who rolls around on the ground in a leotard should get an Oscar.
Everyone's favorite little spark plug Amy Adams is in talks to play the lead in a new film called "Dark Places". Adams would be Libby Day, a woman who becoming involved with a secret society that's obsessed with the strange murder of her family some 25 years ago. Can she look adorable while visiting her convicted brother in prisons? All signs point to yes.
In Real People News:
A group of Kentucky students are under arrest for posting upskirt videos of their teacher on the internet. I am now thinking back to every teacher I ever had and throwing up a little bit in my mouth. Except Mr. Cable. That guy had it going on.
A Utah student is in hot water after he mistakenly left his homework inside a house he robbed. So not only is he going to jail but now he also has to explain to his teacher why his homework is missing. This is probably a lot cooler than the dog ate it story though.
Neil Marshall, our friend who directed "The Descent", has been tapped to take the wheel on "The Last Voyage Of Demeter". The film tells the story the ship and crew that transported Dracula from Transylvania to London as told by the lone survivor of the voyage. I don't want to spoil anything... but scurvy.
Julianne Moore has been confirmed to be playing the nutso mother in the upcoming "Carrie" remake. Which is fun because she seems so nice so I kind of feel like even if she locked me in a closet for hours on end I wouldn't be so mad at her. Like those stupid Sour Patch Kids commercials. Awww she whipped me with a ruler but now she's making me pancakes.
Heather Graham and Carrie-Anne Moss have been tapped for roles in a new film titled "Compulsion". The flick is a remake of a South Korean horror-comedy about two women who live next to each other and realize one is on a hefty bad luck streak while the other is finding herself overflowing with good luck. I assume Heather Graham will have the good luck because she's never made out with Keanu Reeves.
Michelle Monaghan who looks like a solid D cup has joined Owen Wilson and Pierce Brosnan in the cast of "The Coup", a new film about a family stuck in Southeast Asia during a coup. Maybe a large B actually. I don't know, they do amazing things with push up technology these days.
In Real People News:
Fishermen in Germany are blaming swimmers who pee in their local pond for the 500 plus fish they found dead recently. Even I'm not that much of a monster to make the joke you're thinking of.
Just a heads up, I feel awesome today. Someone's getting a hug that goes on for just a little too long.
What is it about Stanley Tucci's name that makes me want to pinch a baby's cheeks? Not like in a creepy way, just like in an adorable way. This has gotten kind of weird. He's joined the cast of "Your Voice in My Head" and will play a psychiatrist who helps a self abusing woman, played by Emma Watson, heal her mental scars. Tucci Tucci Tucci! Come on, it's adorable.
I've seen the 1995 movie "Embrace of the Vampire" no less than a dozen times and I could not tell you what the hell it's about. All I remember is Alyssa Milano was nude for 90% of the film and had sex with just about everyone that was on screen. CineTel Films, who I've never heard of but are now my favorite studio, have decided it's time for a remake of the soft core classic. I wonder if Milano will have a cameo. God I hope so.
Chloe Moretz is kind of awesome. She was brutal in "Kick Ass", she was creepy as hell in "Let Me In" and she's pretty damn funny on "30 Rock". So now I'm excited about the "Carrie" remake because she's officially been offered the lead role. If there's anyone that can pull off a pig-blood prom dress it's her. I just hope it isn't after labor day. That's a fashion no-no.
If you didn't like "The Woman In Black" then I kind of want to punch you in the face. It scared the crap out of me. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm not going to punch you in the face if you don't buy the DVD when it's released in May though. I understand times are though and you can't drop money on every movie I like. Where the hell would you even keep the entire "Police Academy" series? There's like 9 films. That's so much shelf space.
I love it! A woman in NY is under arrested after she lost her shit on the highway and just started throwing coffee into people's windows. Sometimes you just gotta burn people to make a point that you're sick of traffic.
There are a few horror movies that still get me every time I watch them. Although I am not a huge fan of the overall movie, I can watch the ending of "Carrie" over and over again and I will undoubtedly jump every single freakin time. The final scene in which Sue (Amy Irving) visits Carrie's (Sissy Spacek) grave site was actually shot backwards and then reversed to give the scene a dreamlike quality. The scene was also filmed at night and used artificial lighting to create the daytime effect. So take a look at the final scene from "Carrie" below and tell me, what gets YOU every time?
