the walking dead

We're just a little over a week away from "The Woman In Black" hitting theaters and I for one am a little damp between the legs about the entire thing. And this new clip from the film has got my river flowing at full throttle this morning. All kinds of creepy toys and lights going out. Oh man it's damp. This is without a doubt the most disgusting thing I've ever written.

Because of a sugar imbalance I fainted while watching "The Devil inside" so I'm not that impressed by this news but it looks like one movie goer hit the floor while watching a screening of "V/H/S", a new anthology flick from Ti West, Adam Wingard, David Bruckner and Glenn McQuaid. The happening took place during a midnight screening at the Sundance Film Fest so there's also a good chance whoever it was was some kind of sissy boy. He was all "oh I can't wait to get home and watch 'How I Met Your Mother' on DVR! hey is that blood? Uh oh I'm going down!".

Not going to lie, I had just assumed the movie "11-11-11" was about a bunch of people hanging out and looking at their office calendars on the date. Turns out it's about it's about a guy who travels to Barcelona and starts to realize the date might be a warning sign for the end of the world. Or something. To be honest I'm not sure what the movie is about from the new trailer and I kind of like my idea better.

And I can't imagine anyone is surprised by this one but it's my journalistic duty to tell you that Paramount Pictures is currently scratching their heads trying to figure out what the story will be for "Paranormal Activity 4". Here's a suggestion, how about the ladies from the last 3 films all meet up in a strip club and audition for jobs? Oh and a demon breaks some glasses or something too.

Season 2 of "The Walking Dead" finally hits the little screen this Sunday and to celebrate we've got a boat load of new stills from the show. There's all kinds of zombie bloody goodness and what looks like a dead lamb... or dog... or something. I'm 100% sure it's an animal of some sort. Might be a fox. Remember Samantha Fox? Man I had a crush on her when I was a kid. Good talk.

We're just a little over a week from when "Paranormal Activity 3" hits theaters and I continue to be optimistic about the flick. Face it, there's really nothing more frightening than small children. Now think about how frightening they are when you add in demons. Hey I just made a number 2 also. While I clean myself take a look at this new teaser. Maybe put on a some adult dippers first.

Sasha Grey needs to stop trying to act and Jeremy Piven should have never started. There I said it. But here's a poster for their new film "I Melt With You", which also happens to be the title of a song that should have never been written. The film tells the story of a group of 40 something friends who reunite only to find they aren't so friendly anymore. Alright the song isn't that bad. I was just on a roll.

New photos from season two of "The Walking Dead" are here! I'm still excited about the new season starting but honestly things don't look so bad for our group. They got a house, some cool guns to walk around and pose with and... a cross bow. Who the hell doesn't want a cross bow? Those damn hippies, that's who.

If I had to list my favorite Afflecks in order of awesomeness Casey would for sure be in the top five. Think it over, I'll wait. Good, now that's your back I'd like to tell you about how Casey Affleck has now been cast in the new flick "Paradise Lost", an epic tale of archangels Michael and Lucifer battling it out and how this impacted the downfall of Adam and Eve. Affleck will play Gabriel and I'd appreciate it if someone who knows about bible stuff tells me if that's a good or a bad thing.

Oh Tom Six, you sick sick SOB. Today we've got a new poster for his new film "The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)" which looks to be a lot more human centipedey than the first one. Which I don't think is a good thing but it's something for sure. I don't know what to believe anymore.

Ever see that show on MTV "My Super Sweet 16"? Well if you have then you've probably also had the urge to get in your car, dive to these spoiled pricks home and end them. Well got bless Bobcat Goldthwait because he made a movie called "God Bless America" with just such a plot. What's better is said film has been picked up by Magnolia pictures and will be finding it's way to VOD in the near future. Yes, I watch a lot of crap on cable.

If you were a big fan of the vampire soap opera "Dark Shadows" as a kid then I'm willing to bet you spent a lot of time along in your room talking to your privates. But now Tim Burton is making a movie about the tv show and it stars Johnny Depp so people will love it and you and your genitals can go out into the world with pride. Here, look at these new photos from the set. Everyone looks so pale. Pasty is going to be the new tan. I'm going to be famous!

A fistfull of clips from the upcoming second season of "The Walking Dead" have hit the tubes and before you go getting all excited I should tell you that all of them are about ten seconds long. Not that you can't do some really good stuff in ten seconds. Sometimes ten seconds is all you need if something is really good. Ten seconds can completely please a woman... or viewer. Whatever. What were we talking about?

Regina Hall, Anthony Anderson and Kevin Hart are rumored to all be on board for the 2012 release of "Scary movie 5". Because we all demanded there be more "Scary Movie" films. Of course now we regret it. Man Harvey Wallbangers can really mess up an evening am I right? They can also cause people to think "Scary Movie 5" is a good idea.

Franck Khalfoun, who directed "P2" and apparently loves fedoras is being eyeballed to direct the remake of the much loved 1980 classic "Maniac". For those of you who are not up to date on the film it follows a serial killer who takes out his mommy issues on a bunch of women in NYC. Who can't relate to that.

I have no idea what "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" is about but everyone and their mother seems to be gaga over the books and excited about the movies. Now here's the first still from the film and I can officially confirm that I have no desire to know anything about this movie or book because I assume it's about crack whores with stupid face piercings I can not support that. If you do you hate freedom and apple pie.

The website for the Guillermo del Toro co-written frightfest "Don't Be Afraid Of the Dark" has hit the tubes for your time wasting enjoyment. Normally I wouldn't give a crap about a website launch but this one is actually pretty cool. Spooky voices that whisper your name and some hot webcam action make it all kinds of fun. Although it's probably going to be a giant let down after I built it up with promises of "hot webcam action".

AMC has officially announced a four part mini-series based on Stephan King's "Bag of Bones", a story that focuses on a man haunted by the loss of his wife. Pierce Brosnan and Anabeth Gish are both confirmed for the project which begins filming next month. Proof once again that if you wait long enough every book will be turned into moving pictures. The point here is reading is dumb.

Hey remember Haley Joel Osment? The little fella who could see dead people in "The Sixth Sense" and creeped his way into all of our hearts back in 1999? Well it looks like he's back in the horror genre with a starring role in the upcoming Frankenstein flick "Wake the Dead". The movie is based on a novel by Steve Niles and it appears Osment will play the mad doctor Victor Frankenstein. So I guess his character will see dead people. Get it? Cause ya know... the Frankenstein monster was dead or something... Comedic gold.

Jim Uhls, who adapted Chuck Palahniuk's book "Fight Club" for the big screen, and Trent Reznor are teaming up to create a new mini series for HBO based on the Nine Inch Nails album "Year Zero". The series will take place in the year 2022 and show a world run by a corrupt government. And needless to say I will be both bored and confused by the entire thing.