Horror Headlines: Thursday May 9th, 2013
Eric here, filling in for Joe again. Seriously, if we actually paid him he'd be fired by now...
Stop the presses, you mean to tell me that Gary Oldman and Kerri Russel are both in "Dawn of the Planet of the apes"??? There's also a full official synopsis at the link but I think we all know I've given you the important news... that you probably already knew. I should do this every day.
"Jurassic Park 4" has been pushed to "a later date" according to Universal, who declined to elaborate on exactly what that means. This gives me more time to watch the sequels, of which I have seen zero. I have seen "Carnosaur" though, which isn't canon but I think counts anyway.
The guys who brought you the Walking Dead game last year that was actually good, Telltale Games, are working on a game based on a werewolf comic book adaptation next. Here's hoping I don't have to make the choice of whether or not I have enough food to feed the small children in my care. That pretty much put me off that game for good. It was too real man, too real...
I haven't taken an informal poll on this, but am I the only person that loved "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter"? Either way, Dominic Cooper, who played a smooth talking vampire friend to Honest Abe in that film has signed on to another vampire film, Universal's "Dracula". You know, the one that isn't actually about Dracula, instead focusing on the Vlad the Impaler mythos. Either way, I hope there's an axe with silver melted onto it. (does anyone even get that reference??)
"My husband draws the line at having sex with a troll mask on" Joe tells me this all the time. I don't know why he can't just open his heart.
Have you guys heard about the giant, meningitis carrying, African snails invading Florida? If you're into stomach churning news articles, this subject is for you.
Ever wonder what an X-ray of a harpoon that went into someone's head looks like? No? Then definitely do not click on that link. Seriously. Don't.