poltergeist

Horror Headlines: Wednesday June 8th, 2011

The world demanded it and the good people at Universal answered our prayers. I speak of course about "Death Race 3". While nothing has been confirmed there's word around campus that Paul W.S. Anderson will be writing the script for part 3 and Danny Trejo will return. Tanit Phoenix will also be back and that's exciting for all of us because according to IMDB she's played a stripper in about 8 movies and starred in something called "Kamasutra Nights". Let the Oscar buzz begin!

This afternoon I was down at the Manhole for lunch and the rumors flying around there are that none other than Paul Walker, Texas Ranger is in talks to play Kyle Reese in the much anticipated "Terminator 5". Of course that's not his real name but it would be awesome if it was. Anyway Justin Lin, who directed Walker in the last "Fast & Furious" movie is set to direct... I trust my fellow foodies down at The Manhole on this one. The lunch buffet is delicious, don't judge.

Years before Peter Jackson directed a 38 hour trilogy he directed a movie I actually liked called "The Frighteners" starring Michael J. Fox. And while three films that spawned a million pornos have been released in countless formats sadly "The Frighteners" has yet to make its way to Blu-Ray. Well good news kids, come September 13th you can get your grubby little mits on the flick with tons of special features and 0 wizards. Alright in all fairness the porn parodies are pretty decent. The visuals, you wouldn't believe!

Pultizer Prize winning playwright David Lindsay-Abaire is being taken out for a lovely steak dinner by the people at MGM in the hopes that he will write the much discussed "Poltergeist" remake. No word on if he'll accept but if he orders dessert it's pretty much understood he has to, especially if it's the 3rd date.

In Real People News: 

A 48 year old father in Memphis is under arrest after threatening the host of a birthday party with a gun because she didn't save any ice cream and cake for his kids. Which is stressful for a number of reasons, namely that now I have to add a gun to the list of things I need to buy before I become a parent.

Let this be a lesson to all of you out there. If you're going to bite your girlfriend's ear off during an argument make sure your dentures are in securely. Because this guy in South Carolina who went a bite-in' and lost his chompers must have felt like a real prick when he had to explain the whole thing to a judge.

Horror Headlines: Friday August 14th, 2009

So last week, I made the suggestion that I was Santana and BGH was Rob Thomas. This was met with derision, of course. I did enjoy the suggestion of me being Michael McDonald and BGH being James Ingram, but, of course, most of you have no idea who either of those guys are because they aren't on Roadrunner. OK, so let's try this: I am Jimmy Buffett and BGH are a large group of middle-aged yuppies who come to my concert to forget their workaday lives of strife. Fins to the left, gang!

Because we did it so well the first time, it looks like Legendary Pictures are in talks to bring back an Americanized version of “Godzilla”. While this news is quite maddening, what's really aggravating is how every movie news outlet that has picked up the story has used the headline “GODZILLA ROARS AGAIN!”. Seriously, guys? Maybe I expect too much for a guy with the moniker of “Mr. Disgusting”.

So, if the “Godzilla” news didn't screw up your morning, well, here you go: MGM has put the remake of “Poltergeist” on the fast track. Here's to hoping that the new Carol Anne lives to be 13!

Even though the movie won't be ready for another 37 years, Universal has released some new stills for The Wolfman. Is it just me or does Benicio Del Toro look like a cross between an almost transformed werewolf and Jet Li?

Is it weird that I've jerked-off to this video twice now?

In Real People News: 

A South Korean biotechnology firm is opening a “dog cloning center”. Suspiciously, the center is named “Super Happy #1 Buffet”, so I am suspicious of their intentions...

Remember that Will Smith song “Miami”? That was a great song. You know, now that I think about it, the whole “Big Willie Style” album was pretty good. Either way, some chick in Miami set herself on fire and continue to mosey through a mall. I guess you could say she was “Gettin' Flammable Wit' It!” Na,na, na, na, na, na!

According to a survey, the Dutch prefer a good dump to having sex. Here in America, we like both so we invented the blumpkin! GO USA #1 LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT THESE COLORS DON'T RUN!!!

On this day in history: 

In 1908, the first beauty contest was held in Folkestone, England. Of course, being England, there were no winners. AW SNAP OH NO I DID NOT GO THERE OH I DID GIRLFRIEND!

Horror Headlines: Tuesday March 24th, 2009

Remember how the acclaimed Swedish vampire film "Let The Right One In" was just released on DVD? Thanks to some sleuthing over at Icons of Fright, it was discovered that the subtitles have been almost criminally changed from the original English subs on the Swedish DVD. The cumulative result, as the writer puts it, could be construed as a "dumbing down" or "watering down" of the subtlety and strange dark humor of the film. At the link, an exhaustive description of the changes including screen caps to illustrate the point.

Producers speak on both remakes of "The Birds" and "Poltergeist". They seem to have a healthy respect for the originals, so I'll at least give these a shot, even if neither one really needs a reboot.

Here's a naughty still from Lars Von Trier's "Antichrist", which is about to make its debut at Cannes. The psychological horror film stars Willem Dafoe and is about a couple who retreat to a cabin in the woods following the death of their child.

Now this is more like it, if you're interested, here's 20 hi-res stills from "Blood: The Last Vampire". Japanese school girls... that is all.

In Real People News: 

People in the UK are really pissed about Google Street View ruining their privacy. If anyone's going to spy on them, it's going to be their own government, dammit!

Want some space underwear? Why yes, I do actually.

One strange side effect of the bad economy? increasing amounts of college educated, office working women are getting into the "adult" business. Can't blame them right? Strippers seem to be the only people making money right now.

On this day in history: 

1874: Illusionist Harry Houdini born.

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