Horror Headlines: Monday, April 30th, 2011

It looks like everyone's favorite sailor boy Sam Raimi has been confirmed to produce the upcoming "Poltergeist" remake. This puts an end to the rumors that he would be taking the director's chair for the film. But if not him then who!? And why do we call him "sailor boy"? It's almost like I'm making all of this up or something.

Fans of "The Ring" will be excited, shocked, disgusted and/or neutral on the news that there may be another film in the works. According to Paramount Film Group president Adam Goodman there's an idea being tossed around that would see the next installment in the film series going the found footage route. Ya know, cause why not?

I don't want to say this is the worst news day ever but I'm about to give you an update on casting for "Wrong Turn 5". Ready? Simon Ginty, Oliver Hoare, Amy Lennox, Paul Luebke, Duncan Wisbey, Kyle Redmond-Jones and Peter Brooke are all in. I honestly have no idea who any of these people are.

Blah blah blah Asylum is making a "Battleship" rip off called "American Battleship" and Universal is pissed about it and going to sue. They're just mad because they didn't think of putting Carl Weathers in his Apollo Creed shorts on the poster. Ya know, cause it's a lot cheaper to get Carl Weathers than Rihanna. I just assume.

In Real People News: 

An Indiana man is under arrest after he forced another man to moonwalk at gun point. Wasn't this in a movie? I feel like it was Gene Wilder holding the gun. That can't be right though. Someone help me out here. It wasn't "See No Evil, Hear No Evil" was it?

It's got to be a fun night for a cop when you're called to a trailer court because a shotgun just went off and there's a guy who calls himself BeeSting wrestling with a resident. Beats traffic duty I guess.

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