The world demanded it and the good people at Universal answered our prayers. I speak of course about "Death Race 3". While nothing has been confirmed there's word around campus that Paul W.S. Anderson will be writing the script for part 3 and Danny Trejo will return. Tanit Phoenix will also be back and that's exciting for all of us because according to IMDB she's played a stripper in about 8 movies and starred in something called "Kamasutra Nights". Let the Oscar buzz begin!
This afternoon I was down at the Manhole for lunch and the rumors flying around there are that none other than Paul Walker, Texas Ranger is in talks to play Kyle Reese in the much anticipated "Terminator 5". Of course that's not his real name but it would be awesome if it was. Anyway Justin Lin, who directed Walker in the last "Fast & Furious" movie is set to direct... I trust my fellow foodies down at The Manhole on this one. The lunch buffet is delicious, don't judge.
Years before Peter Jackson directed a 38 hour trilogy he directed a movie I actually liked called "The Frighteners" starring Michael J. Fox. And while three films that spawned a million pornos have been released in countless formats sadly "The Frighteners" has yet to make its way to Blu-Ray. Well good news kids, come September 13th you can get your grubby little mits on the flick with tons of special features and 0 wizards. Alright in all fairness the porn parodies are pretty decent. The visuals, you wouldn't believe!
Pultizer Prize winning playwright David Lindsay-Abaire is being taken out for a lovely steak dinner by the people at MGM in the hopes that he will write the much discussed "Poltergeist" remake. No word on if he'll accept but if he orders dessert it's pretty much understood he has to, especially if it's the 3rd date.
In Real People News:
A 48 year old father in Memphis is under arrest after threatening the host of a birthday party with a gun because she didn't save any ice cream and cake for his kids. Which is stressful for a number of reasons, namely that now I have to add a gun to the list of things I need to buy before I become a parent.
Let this be a lesson to all of you out there. If you're going to bite your girlfriend's ear off during an argument make sure your dentures are in securely. Because this guy in South Carolina who went a bite-in' and lost his chompers must have felt like a real prick when he had to explain the whole thing to a judge.
I am not the least bit ashamed to admit that fluids shot out of every hole in my body when I read the news that Arnold Schwarzenegger has officially signed on to do a new "Terminator" movie. No screenwriter or director has been confirmed but Justin Lin has been rumored to be taking the camera for the flick. Oh mother of god the fluids!
2011 has already been a stellar year for the homeless and now everyone's favorite movie "Hobo With a Shotgun" is coming home to DVD and Blu-Ray. July 5th will be the date you can get your grubby little fingerless gloved mits on the 2 disc DVD or Blu-Ray that features all kinds of interviews, commentaries and other filthy treasures. Catch the hobo fever!
We're going 3 for 3 in the awesome news department kids because Steve Austin and Danny Trejo have both signed on to battle in "Recoil". Austin will play former cop who goes on a rampage after his family is murdered by a group of criminals. Trejo will of course play one of the criminals, because stereotypes are there for a reason and that reason is to help casting in films move along quickly.
Well they can't all be zingers my friends. Chris Landon is once again confirmed to be partnering up with Michael Perry to write "Paranormal Activity 3" after there were rumors that he had dropped out of the project. The duo wrote the previous film in the series and while they haven't promised it, I'm hoping will once again cast a rampaging pool cleaner. Keep your fingers crossed.
How the hell do you not think you're going to get caught urinating on cough drops at a Walgreens? There are practically video cameras everywhere these days and anywhere there isn't there's some prick taking video with his camera phone. You take cough drops into the men's room to piss on them! Everyone knows that's the only safe place.