Vin Diesel and his alter ego "Riddick" are finally set to return to theaters and IMax on September 6, 2013. For those of you who are stupid and not just sold by the name Vin Diesel, this chapter in the Riddick series finds the blind guy left for dead on a sun soaked planet fighting for survival. I swear I'd see a movie if they just called it "Vin Diesel Doing Things".
If you're like me, and I pray you're not, your big New Years Eve plans revolve around getting drunk in front of the TV and screaming at Ryan Seacrest. It's sad. But now those plans may need to be put on hold because FearNet has announced they'll be doing a 12 hour marathon of the classic HBO series "Tales From the Crypt" hosted by the Cryptkeeper himself. This marks the first time in 15 years that John Kassir has reprised his role as the funny dead-one to pump out new material. It will also be the first time in 4 years that I plan on trying to stay upright till at least 8 pm.
IFC has finally dropped a release date for the much anticipated, by me at least, documentary "My Amityville Horror". The flick is a look inside the murders and spooky-time events that took place at the famous house some 30+ years ago. It also marks the first time that Daniel Lutz, who was 10 at the time, has gone on record about the events. Oh, the release date is March 1st for VOD. I probably should of mentioned that earlier.
It looks like the US remake of the Chilean horror flick "Hidden In the Woods" has officially been picked up for a 2013 US release. The film follows two girls and their fight to escape the horror they've faced all their life while living under the rule of an evil drug lord. No word yet on a specific release date or what sort of distribution the flick will get but stay tuned. If any info happens to be posted on the random days I decide to do the news you'll be the first to know. Or not.
Just in case you don't have Netflix, a DVD player, a VHS player or the internet... FEARnet has decided to start showing "Tales From the Crypt" starting October 5th.
I had no idea that A&E was making a "Bates Motel" TV movie but I've been huffing a lot of paint lately so I've missed some things. But this is a thing and it's happening and I guess Freddie Highmore was always cast as Norman a while back so today I'm here to tell you that Olivia Cooke and Nicola Peltz have both joined the cast. I think I missed my fantasy football draft also. I hope no one picked up The Fridge yet.
Still holding out hope for a third installment in the "28 Days Later" saga titled "28 Months Later"? Well writer/producer Alex Garland says it isn't going to happen. So piss off.
If you want to get your beady little eyes on some clips from the "Evil Dead" and "Carrie" remakes then you're going to want to get your ass on a plane and come to NY Comic Con because both will premiere footage there on October 13th. I mean I guess if you live in Jersey you don't need to take a plane. That would be silly. Would you fly from Newark to JFK? I'm not even sure that's possible. Think for once in your life you freakin jackass.
In Real People News:
A 480 pound Ohio man is looking to have his execution delayed because he claims at his weight lethal injection would cause a slow and cruel death. If this works out I assume death row will suddenly become a big group of giant fat asses.
Looks like "Tales From the Crypt" might be headed back to the little screen sometime in the not too distant future. But before you go getting your Crypt Keeper thong dusted off you should know that the series will in no way resemble the original series that went off the air some 15 years ago. The show will be an hour long series with a continuous storyline focusing on characters from the comic book, meaning no anthology here. The project still needs to be pitched to networks so there's a good chance this might not even land on HBO. God willing it'll at least be on cable though. No blood and boobs would just be sad.
Everyone's favorite cuddly Brit Simon Pegg is set to star in a new horror comedy title "A Fantastic Fear of Everything". The movie will follow a children's novelist turned crime scribe who is researching serial killers and becomes paranoid that the world is out to get him. I hope he ends up combining the two genres and eventually begins fearing little baby murderers because that would be adorable.
While we all sit and wait patiently for a "Con Air" sequel it looks like Nicolas Cage and John Cusak are teaming up for a new film titled "Frozen Ground". The movie is based on the true story of serial killer Robert Hansen who abducted 24 women, let them loose in the Alaskan wilderness and hunted them. Cusak will play Hansen and Cage will pay the law man who cracks the case. So it's kind of like "Con Air" if it had made you want to cry in the shower for an hour or so after watching it.
Legendary director Robert Zemeckis is in talks to get behind the camera again for a new sea beast flick currently titled "Here There Be Monsters". The films story focuses on Revolutionary War naval fighter John Paul Jones and his battle with sea monsters. I can't confirm this but I think it's based on a true story. The film is still in it's early stages but I'm already excited for the "Sea Men" jokes on the podcast.
In Real People News:
An Arizona man is under arrest after he reportedly murdered his girlfriend after she confessed to cheating on him and then proceeded to continue living with her for about two months. But that would have to smell you might be thinking. Don't worry, he covered her in carpet cleaner and deodorizer. Problem solved.
And here's a warm little story about a man who took the only action you really can when you're refused alcohol at a restaurant because you're too intoxicated. He took out his manhood and shook it at the waiter. Just a warning though that the "only action" is also very much illegal and will get you tossed in jail.