tim burton

Len Wiseman has signed on to direct a remake of "The Mummy". Not the real one, the shitty Brendan Frasier one. I'd like to just cut to the chase and see the movie where him and Paul W.S. Anderson team up to make a movie entirely about their wives running in slow motion. Just think of the possibilities.

Winona Ryder was asked this past weekend at Fantastic Fest whether or not she was excited about the idea of possibly being in "Bettlejuice 2", and her response was to sarcastically roll her eyes and say "ya, that would be great..." See, she's in character already! Ya, this is going to go well.

Check out the alternate ending to "The Thing" remake. All this reminds me of is that "The Thing" remake was so forgettable, I couldn't even tell you what happened in the original ending. So, success?

A Vatican newspaper has slammed the Italian release of Ridley Scott's "Prometheus" because it "mishandles the delicate questions raised by... the battle eternal between good and evil in yet another attempt to steak the secret of immortality". So, for the record, the people ruled by a pedophile protector in a funny hat who believe a guy lives in the sky constantly judging you... they think "Promtheus" gets God all wrong. Noted.

Oh Tim Burton, you scamp!

Chris Stokes directed "You Got Served" and "House Party 4" so it should come as no surprise that his new film "The Helpers" is a hand held torture flick about seven friends who are being held hostage and brutally killed off one by one on camera. Wait no that doesn't make any sense at all. Take a look at the trailer. There's not one sign of anyone getting served. Unless you consider getting ripped in half "served". I think that's what they call it in Connecticut now that I think of it.

I had no idea Tim Burton was working on a stop motion animation flick titled "Frankenweenie". Mostly because I thought he made that 30 years ago in his basement but what the hell do I know. But here's a new still from the flick which looks to be a little more on the kid-friendly side. Sure the dog is dead but that doesn't make him any less adorable.

For those of you who didn't watch The Golden Globes this past weekend not only did you miss some of this season's hottest fashions but you also missed Jessica Lange taking home the gold for Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television for her role on "American Horror Story". This is very exciting for horror fans because ya know... it's cool to see horror shows and movies win awards. Because then we can all go online and complain about how it's not horror and how the shows sucks and stuff. Should fill up most of today at the very least.

This shouldn't come as any surprise to people but "The Devil Inside" took a big old nose dive this past weekend, bringing in only about $8,020,000 at the box office. For those of you keeping score at home that's less than half of what it pulled in during it's Friday night midnight showings during it's opening weekend. I don't want to credit anyone for this turn but I did tweet that I was disappointed in the flick so at least 13 people would have been swayed by my opinion. Sorry Hollywood.

I'm not sure a logo is actually news but here's the new one for the "Evil Dead" reboot that will at least give people a chance to bitch about there being a reboot. The flick won't hit theaters till sometime in 2013 and if you're not in the know like I am the big twist on this update is that Ash, or whatever they're going to call him, is taking his sister to a cabin in the woods to help her kick her drug habit. That's going to make all the makeout scenes a lot weirder I bet.

I'm going to go ahead and say it. "True Blood" is the worst thing to ever happen to TV. Yeah yeah I know you think Snookie or whatever the hell her name is is hot but that doesn't change anything. So why do I still report on it you might ask? Well who the hell are you to question my selection of news items? Go to hell! Lucy Griffiths is joining the cast next year. She's British and will play Eric Northman's sister. Is that alright with you!?

Mr. Robert Englund has been confirmed for Syfy's next installment in the "Lake Placid" series currently titled "Lake Placid: The Final Chapter". If you couldn't have guessed by the title the good people at Syfy are saying this will be the last installment in the giant crock attack series. I assume there will be some sort of parade in Hollywood to celebrate all of this magic. Maybe a national day of mourning.

In other casting news, it looks like the walking corpse that is Alice Cooper has been cast in Tim Burton's big screen adaptation of the "Dark Shadows". Cooper will play himself in the flick which takes place in 1972. And I can't think of another good "he's really old" joke so just make up your own here.

Ever see that show on MTV "My Super Sweet 16"? Well if you have then you've probably also had the urge to get in your car, dive to these spoiled pricks home and end them. Well got bless Bobcat Goldthwait because he made a movie called "God Bless America" with just such a plot. What's better is said film has been picked up by Magnolia pictures and will be finding it's way to VOD in the near future. Yes, I watch a lot of crap on cable.

Rodrigo Cortés made everyone giddy last year when he put Ryan Reynolds in a box for 90 minutes and just let him talk. Well his follow up to that is "Red Lights" staring Robert De Niro as a famous psychic who returns to the spotlight after 30 years of being off the radar. Then he gets put in a box for an hour and we just bask in all his glory. Probably not. Check out the new trailer and see if I'm a giant liar. I love you.

If you were a big fan of the vampire soap opera "Dark Shadows" as a kid then I'm willing to bet you spent a lot of time along in your room talking to your privates. But now Tim Burton is making a movie about the tv show and it stars Johnny Depp so people will love it and you and your genitals can go out into the world with pride. Here, look at these new photos from the set. Everyone looks so pale. Pasty is going to be the new tan. I'm going to be famous!

If you haven't seen "A Serbian Film" well then consider yourself lucky. I'm not going to say why, but there are some things that no amount of soup in the eyes will wash away. I still wake up crying in the middle of the night sometimes. But good news for deviants and future sex offenders out there, it's getting a US release in selected theaters on May 17th in both it's R and NC-17 forms. In honor of this event a new red-band trailer and website have lunched for the movie. Both of which I refuse to view. You've been warned.

Chloe Moretz, who I've dubbed this generation's Macaulay Culkin, minus the coke habit and schizophrenia, has officially been added to the cast of the upcoming Tim Burton big screen adaptation of the vampire soap opera "Dark Shadows". The cast already includes the likes of Johnny Depp, Jackie Earle Haley, Michelle Pfeiffer and Helena Bonham Carter. Just to be clear I have no idea if Culkin is a coke head or a schizophrenic but it would be awesome if he was.

I'm going to make a prediction here folks and if I'm wrong I will personally come to each and every one of your houses and open mouth kiss you as an apology. Here it is. "Shark Night 3D" will be the single greatest movie to ever appear on the silver screen. Put it in the books! If you doubt me then just take a gander at the new photo that's hit the tubes of the film. It's got a shark! What more do you need?! I think I've made my point.

Would you like to know what the second greatest movie of all time will be? So would I! But while we try to figure that out here's the trailer for "The Toolbox Murders 2" which I honestly think in no way ties to the first one. Of course I didn't see it. I saw the original one from 1978 though and there was a women in a bathtub getting dirty while listening to weird country music. So... that's something, right?

Oh boy! Tim Burton's new "Dark Shadows" movie just got a whole lot sexier because Jackie Earle Haley has been added to the cast. Johnny Depp will star in the film but no one will be watching him with that hunky Jackie prancing around the screen with his creepy get in my van smile. Bella Heathcote has also been added to the cast and much to my surprise is not a porn star.

Booo Paramount, boo! Apparently there's been a "Pet Cemetery" remake in the works for some time now but up until recently it wasn't getting much action. But now it looks like a script is almost done and a director search is moving forward. Matthew Greenberg, who wrote the script for King's "1408" as well is just about done with his new updated version of this sucker.

I don't know if this is suppose to be good news but Wes Craven says he isn't re-shooting scenes for "Scream 4" but actually adding pivotal scenes. So just to confirm, he watched his movie and didn't see scenes that he thought could be better or done different, no he saw scenes that were completely missing all together. I'm not good with math or words but honestly I think the re-shooting sounded better.

MTV has announced that their new series based on the 90's classic "Teen Wolf" will hit the air on June 5th. Based on everything I've heard about their latest show "Skins" I am fully expecting this one to feature full frontal nudity and partial if not full penetration. I'll consider anything less a complete failure.