teen wolf

Horror Headlines: Wednesday March 30th, 2011

Everybody loved Joss Whedon's catchy little musical when it launched online, so now you can buy Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog in book form! Just be forewarned; you have to provide the musical parts yourself.

I'm not a very approachable guy in the mornings. You could say I'm a bit grumpy, so I'm going to use that as an excuse as I kick you all in the beans with this official trailer for MTV's Teen Wolf.

The "Piranha" was a pretty big success so of course a sequel is on it's way. It wasn't until now that director John Gulager has started to release some tidbits on the zany plot for "Piranha 3 Double D"; which moves from Lake Havasu to the chlorinated depths of a water park!

It was already known that "Your Highness" director David Gordon was angling for a remake of the classic "Suspiria" for his next film. In a recent interview with Movieline, Gordon made fans just a bit less apprehensive of his plans by mentioning that they had procured the original film's Goblin score and he fully plans on using it!

Were you saddened by the news that "World War Z" may not be coming to the big screen due to financial woes? According to Deadline Hollywood, things might not be so bad. There could be as many as three different financiers in talks to share the load on the $125 million budget.

In Real People News: 

Don't like your uncle's choice of preserves on his waffle? Why not shoot up the Waffle House to make your point?

Ron Low wants to restore your foreskin. That is, if you feel slighted that your parents had it hacked off when you were 10 minutes old. Are you one of those people? Well lucky for you, TLC is going to cover his business "TLC Tuggers" in an upcoming show!

Horror Headlines: Thursday February 3rd, 2011

Oh boy! Tim Burton's new "Dark Shadows" movie just got a whole lot sexier because Jackie Earle Haley has been added to the cast. Johnny Depp will star in the film but no one will be watching him with that hunky Jackie prancing around the screen with his creepy get in my van smile. Bella Heathcote has also been added to the cast and much to my surprise is not a porn star.

Booo Paramount, boo! Apparently there's been a "Pet Cemetery" remake in the works for some time now but up until recently it wasn't getting much action. But now it looks like a script is almost done and a director search is moving forward. Matthew Greenberg, who wrote the script for King's "1408" as well is just about done with his new updated version of this sucker.

I don't know if this is suppose to be good news but Wes Craven says he isn't re-shooting scenes for "Scream 4" but actually adding pivotal scenes. So just to confirm, he watched his movie and didn't see scenes that he thought could be better or done different, no he saw scenes that were completely missing all together. I'm not good with math or words but honestly I think the re-shooting sounded better.

MTV has announced that their new series based on the 90's classic "Teen Wolf" will hit the air on June 5th. Based on everything I've heard about their latest show "Skins" I am fully expecting this one to feature full frontal nudity and partial if not full penetration. I'll consider anything less a complete failure.

In Real People News: 

Not going to lie, I don't see anything wrong with this one. A Minnesota man is being brought up on animal cruelty charges after he tried to mail a 4 month old puppy to Atlanta. Did he not poke holes in the box? Is that what he did wrong? Should he have put a bone in the box with the dog? Seriously, I'm drawing a blank here.

In what sounds like a Lifetime movie here's a story about a Nebraska women who beat the holy living hell out of a guy with a frying pan after he tried to sexually assault her. I would have gone with a Loony Tunes reference here but I don't recall those having many attempted rape scenes in them.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday November 16th, 2010

Hey here's something awesome to kick off your Tuesday. It's three pricks who are taking your childhood memories and taking a big old crap on them. Some might also call it a video with the three guys that MTV has cast in their new "Teen Wolf" series. I like my description better though.

Mike White, who is apparently a director, has been chosen to make the moving pictures for the big screen adaptation of "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". Now before you go thinking this might be something to get worried about let me remind you that Mr. White wrote "Nacho Libre". So that's something, right?

Is this true? Pang Ho-Cheung's "Dream Home" is the first Japanese slasher flick? How the hell is that possible? What have they been doing for all these years? Dressing up like giant hamsters and having sex with each other? Oh wait, that's probably it so don't laugh. Don't laugh!

And here's your first look at John Cusack as Edgar Allan Poe in "The Raven". Spoiler alert, it looks like John Cusack with a goatee and one leg. Alright the one leg thing is a lie but I figured the goatee wasn't really much so I spiced it up a bit. I'm sorry I hurt you like that.

In Real People News: 

Well if you're going to get arrested for a DUI then you might as well go the distance and piss on the police cruiser while you're at it. Anything else is really just half-assing it.

What's worse than getting a tattoo of your girlfriends name and then breaking up with her? Having her try to cut the tattoo of your neck rather than letting you live the rest of your life with it. That's a fact.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday September 28th, 2010

I'm going to go ahead and thank the cast of "Glee" for this one. James Merendino, the guy who brought us "SLC Punk!" is set to takes the horns of a new vampire comedy flick called "Vampire Summer Camp". The movie will be about two rival musical summer camps, one of which is for young vampires. See you in hell FOX.

For all your Hammer fans out there, the horror movies not the kick-ass baggy pants guy, TCM will be showing 4 different Hammer Classics every Friday night during the Month of October. Can't touch this!

Here's a new NSFW clip from "I Spit on Your Grave". To be honest I haven't watched it because if it's not safe for work I'm 99% sure it's also not safe for my tender little peepers to see. That's just logic folks.

Michael J.Fox is apparently being pursued to have a recurring role in the upcoming MTV series "Teen Wolf". For you kids out there Mr. Fox played the lead in the original film all the way back in 1985. Turn your iPods off for 2 damn seconds and learn some history, you ungrateful bastards.

In Real People News: 
On this day in history: 

1850 - Flogging was abolished as a form of punishment in the U.S. Navy.

Horror Headlines: Thursday May 20th, 2010

Because they're not completely satisfied with their previous abomination, Who in their right mind thinks this is a good idea? So much for professional integrity.

In other pointless remake news, MTV has apparently ordered 12 episodes of their upcoming television series "Teen Wolf". As much as I hate to admit it, I'll probably give this one a chance. Don't you dare judge me. Actually, go ahead this time.

Since Hollywood's creativity is running a little short these days, it's not surprising that Robert Shaye's Unique Features is dangerously close to snagging the rights to the hit Playstation 3 thriller "Heavy Rain". Here's a thought: Why not just play the game? Seriously. What the hell is wrong with you people?

In Real People News: 

What should you do if you're a being mugged by three villainous individuals? Run, don't walk, to the handy ninja school down the street. Chances are they're ready and willing to lend a helping hand.

If, like me, you purchased one of those trendy Miley Cyrus bracelets from Wal-Mart earlier this week, you may want to toss them into the nearest dumpster. Unless, of course, you're just hankering for a little cadmium poisoning. I was through with being cool, anyway.

On this day in history: 

1999 - Several decomposing body parts are found rotting away inside a bank vault in Snowtown, Australia.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday February 2nd, 2010

Early reports say that Kate Beckinsale will be donning her leather cat suit once again for "Underworld 3D". The same reports also say she's trying to find a way to get out of the film as well.

Michael Rooker will be coming back once again to face off against monsters, this time in an ice fishing trip turned beast battle in "Hypothermia". Let's hope he fares better this time than he did in "Slither".

Hammer Studios continues its rise from the dead by acquiring its next film, a big screen adaptation of Susan Hill's "The Woman In Black".

Director Russell Mulcahy has been tapped to direct the pilot for MTV's recently announced "Teen Wolf" reboot. When you consider Mulcahy directed the classic "Highlander", there is some reason to grow excited. Then you remember he also directed "Highlander 2: The Quickening" and that all goes out the window.

Lakeshore Entertainment and Kevin Grevioux, the team up that brought you "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans" are preparing to bring you more of the unique brand of action horror with an adaptation of Grevioux's comic, "I, Frankenstein". At this time, it is still unclear how they will be working in Kate Beckinsale in tight leather.

In Real People News: 

A murderer on the FBI's most wanted list for 25 years is finally nabbed after walking into the US Embassy in Manila. Attempting to renew his passport, he forgot to apply using his alias.

After a long standoff, Perth Police charge the house of a local loony threatening to burn down his house after spreading fuel across the homestead. In an effort to stop the man from igniting the blaze, police shoot him with a taser gun, which in turns sets fire to the fuel severely burning the perpetrator . Whoopsies.

On this day in history: 

1852 - The first public toilet is inaugurated, located at 95 Fleet Street in London, by the Society of Arts.

Horror Headlines: Monday December 12th, 2009

MTV announces plans and casting info for their upcoming "Teen Wolf" TV series adaptation. Yes, you read that right.

Out promoting her upcoming movie "Avatar" that you may have heard of, Sigourney Weaver drops some possible plot bombs pertaining to "Ghostbusters 3". These are pretty juicy details, so I will leave them out of this post. If you're intrigued as to the future of Peter Venkman and Oscar the baby? Be sure to click through.

In Real People News: 

A 23 year old man dies during an arrest and search by local police. It turns out, his the huge bag of weed that he tried to swallow didn't go down as easily as he thought it would.

A drunken Chinese boy mystifies doctors as he magically changes the channel on the television every time he rolls over. Further testing proved that the magic came from the remote control lodged in his anus.

Ben Ferrett, a 27 year old South Carolina man, has been awarded compensation in court. He's being compensated for passing out at a party while his so called friend poured super glue into his ear and butt crack.

On this day in history: 

1503: Nostradamus is born.

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