eli roth

If there's one thing I think of when people mention the crowd at Comic-Con it's "these guys love to exercise". So everyone will be in for a treat this July when the The Walking Dead Escape: San Diego is unveiled to celebrate the comics 100th issue. Visitors will be able to play the role of a zombie, a survivor or a spectator in an evacuation zone. I can already hear the wheezing and smell the BO.

Hold the phones folks, Eli Roth is going to direct a movie. It's called "The Green Inferno" and I have no idea what it's about but it's going to be filming in Chili and Roth co-wrote the screenplay with Guillermo Amoedo. Did you hold your phone? You really don't get the full effect unless you're holding your phone right now.

Dimension Films has picked up the rights to "Compulsion", a new film starting Heather Graham and Carrie-Anne Moss. Remember the joke I made about Carrie-Anne Moss earlier in the week? Man that was funny huh? Anyway no release date has been announced for the remake of a Japanese film about two neighbors who find themselves on the opposite sides of the luck pole. I don't know if there's such a thing as a luck pole but I wish I had thought of that when I was single. Think about it.

John Cusack and Elijah Wood in the same movie? Oh my lukewarm excitement. The film is called "The Grand Pioano" and Cusack is just in talks right now but the film is about a pianist who finds a note saying he'll die if he plays one note wrong. Wood will play the pianist and Cusack the lovable geek who ends up getting the girl. That might be a lie.

There's a lot of awful things I would like to see happen to Los Angeles but I can honestly say a dinosaur attack has never crossed my mind. Universal though has decided to move forward with a picture that will be co-written and directed by John Clisham about just such an event happening. I for one welcome out new dino-overloads.

Wait Seth Rogen and Jay Baruchel are doing a movie called "The Apocalypse" and Jason Segel has decided to join the cast? This is unprecedented. After years of demanding these guys have finally decided to maker a movie! This will be the most original film ever imagined with a cast no one has seen before. What's it about? Well the title is elusive but it's about the end of the world. I KNOW! Breaking new ground. Emma Watson has joined the cast too, but that's not really funny.

Everyone loves Amber Heard. Not enough to watch that Playboy show she was on for about 3 weeks but they still love her. Word around campus is that she'll soon be cast in "Subject 6", a new film about a student who is a paid participant in a month-long behavioral study but quickly begins to suspect she's actually a prisoner. I mean I don't think anyone actually loves her enough to see any of her movies. But still, we adore her.

Eli Roth has announced that he will be opening a new haunted house attraction in Las Vegas this coming September. The year round attraction will be called Goretorium and will be a multilevel experience for super horror fans around the globe. This actually sounds pretty cool. I'd like to go there with you and maybe take in a show. I love buffets.

Kevin Williamson, the guy who penned the script for "Scream" catastrophes has just landed Maggie Grace, of "I don't understand why everyone thinks Maggie Grace is so hot" fame, for his new serial killer series. She'll play the lone survivor of the serial killer who's on the loose and being hunted by the FBI. "Lost". She was apparently on "Lost" at some point too. I never watched that show. I heard the ending was stupid. Good talk.

Rapper, producer and medical student Dr. Dre has decided to toss his hat into the horror ring with a new "best in the snow" chiller that's being cooked up for his Crucial Films production company. Vik Weet (don't know him) will pen the script and Daniel Schnider (not a clue) will co-producer with Dre.

George Orwell's classic novel "1984" is once again being prepped for a big screen adaptation. Word has it that Ron Howard and Brian Grazer are tag teaming the flick and currently looking to get it off the ground. No word on who will direct or write the script but this is one of the books I actually read in High School so I for one am excited.

One time when I was working really late my wife came into the city to pick me up, cause she's awesome and does nice things. We hit a bunch of traffic at the Holland tunnel and while we were sitting there I looked at the large SUV sitting next to us and there was Famke Janssen in the passenger seat. Apparently her and whoever was driving got sick of the traffic and decided they had the right to hop the curb and make a u-turn. I rolled down the window and yelled "Just because you're Famke doesn't mean the laws of the road don't apply to you!" She smiled at me and I will forever love her. On top of that she's also been cast in Eli Roth's new Netflix exclusive series "Hemlock Grove". Good story, huh?

Love him or hate him, Eli Roth is here to stay. Here he is taking on the lead role in the next "Eli Roth Presents" line of films titled "Aftershock", a post-earthquake thriller currently being shot in Chile by an up and coming Chilean director. No release date has been set, but after "The Last Exorcism" I'm willing to entertain whatever type of premise Roth chooses to throw at me.

I have no idea who Andrea Osvart is but from what I understand she gets acting roles because she is Hungarian and hot. Two things I will never be and that depresses me on a daily basis. So she's been cast in the new Eli Roth produced flick titled "Aftershock", a new film about the aftermath of a Chilean earthquake. Or an earthquake in Chile that is. Earthquakes don't have nationalities. I don't think so anyway. They don't talk and I have no idea what a Chilean accent sounds like so let's just move on.

Christopher Heyerdahl is apparently a guy who played a vampire in the "Twilight" films and now he's signed on to play a vampire in the HBO series "True Blood". The difference here is he's not going to sparkle so you see he's very versatile. I can already hear the direction he must be taking on the set. Alright Chris that was great, but I kind of felt like you were sparkling in that one. Can we try it again but this time, and I can't stress this enough, try not to act all sparkly?".

Liv Tyler has been confirmed to be taking the lead role in the next Ti West flick, currently titled "The Side Effect". Tyler will play woman who spends months as a part of a experimental subject for a global pharmaceutical company who finds out she's pregnant. Then she freaks out or something. I don't know I assume the movie will be 2 hours and the important crap will finally happen at around the 1:50 mark.

If you wanted to read the script for "Deadgirl 2" that will never be turned into an actual movie then I've got some exciting news for you. Scribe Trent Haaga has posted his would be sequel's script up on his blog for all to enjoy. If you're interested I've also got a script for "The Godfather 4" that I wrote a few years back when I had some downtime. It's all handwritten on bar napkins, but it's pretty awesome. I think. Honestly it has a lot of it has beer stains on it.

Well here's a surprise! "Paranormal Activity 3" has officially been confirmed and will see a release on October 21st of next year. I don't think they've actually written a script yet so I'd like to suggest that they focus more on the pool cleaner this time. That thing's got big time Hollywood star written all over it.

Eli Roth is just going to keep doing what he's doing and be dreamy to boot. He's now confirmed to be producing two new horror films, "Clown" and "Aftershock". I'm pretty sure you can figure out what the movies will be about from the titles. One has a guy dressed up as a clown who goes nuts and one is about the aftermath of a large earthquake. Try to guess which is which!

Here's a new one sheet for the Natalie Portman flick "Black Swan". I've seen a few trailers for this one and I'm still a little confused but I'm 99% sure Portman actually turns into a swan in the movie and makes out with Mila Kunis. Before she turns into a swan that is, although that would be a lot creepier if it was after. Freaks!

Looks like "Friday the 13th: Part 2 3D" may in fact be moving forward so get excited kids. Or don't, I don't really care at this point. Of course this news is all based on some blog post so who knows. I announced my candidacy for President on my blog and it didn't come true. Don't think I didn't try though!

The team of Eli Roth and Eric Newman will once again team up for "Psycho Killer". The film that follows both a serial killer, a psycho and an officer will be written by Andrew Kevin Walker who brought us all "Seven". Not too shabby sounding huh? And I avoided the obvious Talking Heads reference.

And let the avalanche of crap begin. "FDR: American Badass" is a new film that will follow Franklin D. Roosevelt, written as a werewolf hunter who fights the hell spawn in his customized wheelchair. I assume there will be other president fighting evil films shortly after. I'd like to officially toss out "Martin Van Buren: Chupacabra Exterminator" as an idea.

If you love "Resident Evil" films but hate looking at Milla Jovovich's mom hips you're in luck. "Resident Evil: Damnation" is a full on CGI sequel to "Resident Evil: Degeneration" and it's got a super new trailer for you to view. Computers > People. That's math, you can look it up.

"Hobo With a Shotgun" is a movie, and now it's got a bunch of cool new posters, only two of which that actually feature a hobo with a shotgun. So that's a nice surprise. It's like Christmas if you lived in the worst trailer park ever imagined... and there isn't any cable so you had to watch old re-runs of "Monchichis"... like homeless people do.

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