eli roth

Snapshots: You can't kill Eli Roth

Love him or hate him, Eli Roth is here to stay. Here he is taking on the lead role in the next "Eli Roth Presents" line of films titled "Aftershock", a post-earthquake thriller currently being shot in Chile by an up and coming Chilean director. No release date has been set, but after "The Last Exorcism" I'm willing to entertain whatever type of premise Roth chooses to throw at me.

Horror Headlines: Thursday, January 19th, 2012

I have no idea who Andrea Osvart is but from what I understand she gets acting roles because she is Hungarian and hot. Two things I will never be and that depresses me on a daily basis. So she's been cast in the new Eli Roth produced flick titled "Aftershock", a new film about the aftermath of a Chilean earthquake. Or an earthquake in Chile that is. Earthquakes don't have nationalities. I don't think so anyway. They don't talk and I have no idea what a Chilean accent sounds like so let's just move on.

Christopher Heyerdahl is apparently a guy who played a vampire in the "Twilight" films and now he's signed on to play a vampire in the HBO series "True Blood". The difference here is he's not going to sparkle so you see he's very versatile. I can already hear the direction he must be taking on the set. Alright Chris that was great, but I kind of felt like you were sparkling in that one. Can we try it again but this time, and I can't stress this enough, try not to act all sparkly?".

Liv Tyler has been confirmed to be taking the lead role in the next Ti West flick, currently titled "The Side Effect". Tyler will play woman who spends months as a part of a experimental subject for a global pharmaceutical company who finds out she's pregnant. Then she freaks out or something. I don't know I assume the movie will be 2 hours and the important crap will finally happen at around the 1:50 mark.

If you wanted to read the script for "Deadgirl 2" that will never be turned into an actual movie then I've got some exciting news for you. Scribe Trent Haaga has posted his would be sequel's script up on his blog for all to enjoy. If you're interested I've also got a script for "The Godfather 4" that I wrote a few years back when I had some downtime. It's all handwritten on bar napkins, but it's pretty awesome. I think. Honestly it has a lot of it has beer stains on it.

In Real People News: 

Dogs love toys.That's a fact. Even if that new toy happens to be a severed head that the dog found under the famous Hollywood sign in California. Inventive, you have to appreciate the dog's creativity.

I've never really understood people that get so excited about sports that they break crap. Running around like maniacs punching the wall because their team didn't score or their QB got arrested for forcing himself on a pit bull or something. And for the life I've me I don't understand this guy in Georigia who got so excited about the 49er's scoring a touch down that he decided to shoot up Applebee’s. Sports is no reason to ruin everyone's riblettes experience.

Horror Headlines: Thursday November 18th, 2010

Well here's a surprise! "Paranormal Activity 3" has officially been confirmed and will see a release on October 21st of next year. I don't think they've actually written a script yet so I'd like to suggest that they focus more on the pool cleaner this time. That thing's got big time Hollywood star written all over it.

Eli Roth is just going to keep doing what he's doing and be dreamy to boot. He's now confirmed to be producing two new horror films, "Clown" and "Aftershock". I'm pretty sure you can figure out what the movies will be about from the titles. One has a guy dressed up as a clown who goes nuts and one is about the aftermath of a large earthquake. Try to guess which is which!

Here's a new one sheet for the Natalie Portman flick "Black Swan". I've seen a few trailers for this one and I'm still a little confused but I'm 99% sure Portman actually turns into a swan in the movie and makes out with Mila Kunis. Before she turns into a swan that is, although that would be a lot creepier if it was after. Freaks!

Looks like "Friday the 13th: Part 2 3D" may in fact be moving forward so get excited kids. Or don't, I don't really care at this point. Of course this news is all based on some blog post so who knows. I announced my candidacy for President on my blog and it didn't come true. Don't think I didn't try though!

In Real People News: 

A Wisconsin man took out his frustration over Bristol Palin's lackluster "Dancing with the Stars" routine by shooting his TV with a shotgun. I'm not saying I condone what he did but I understand. Get your shit together, Palin!

Two Kentucky men were sentenced to probation after a man said he was forced to eat his beard after an argument. How the hell something like that comes into a conversation I have no idea but if things get so heated that you have to eat a beard it's probably best to leave the authorities out of it.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday November 3rd, 2010

The team of Eli Roth and Eric Newman will once again team up for "Psycho Killer". The film that follows both a serial killer, a psycho and an officer will be written by Andrew Kevin Walker who brought us all "Seven". Not too shabby sounding huh? And I avoided the obvious Talking Heads reference.

And let the avalanche of crap begin. "FDR: American Badass" is a new film that will follow Franklin D. Roosevelt, written as a werewolf hunter who fights the hell spawn in his customized wheelchair. I assume there will be other president fighting evil films shortly after. I'd like to officially toss out "Martin Van Buren: Chupacabra Exterminator" as an idea.

If you love "Resident Evil" films but hate looking at Milla Jovovich's mom hips you're in luck. "Resident Evil: Damnation" is a full on CGI sequel to "Resident Evil: Degeneration" and it's got a super new trailer for you to view. Computers > People. That's math, you can look it up.

"Hobo With a Shotgun" is a movie, and now it's got a bunch of cool new posters, only two of which that actually feature a hobo with a shotgun. So that's a nice surprise. It's like Christmas if you lived in the worst trailer park ever imagined... and there isn't any cable so you had to watch old re-runs of "Monchichis"... like homeless people do.

In Real People News: 

Is this becoming a thing now? A 15-month-old baby girl survived a fall from a seventh-floor apartment in Paris yesterday. Way to go France, the Chinese did this a few days back but from 20 floors up. You can't do anything right.

Imagine how excited a Vermont man was when he opened the door to find a man dressed in a gorilla suit standing there. Now imagine how disappointed her was when that gorilla then took out a sharp object and stabbed the man. Gorillas, nature's assholes.

On this day in history: 

1982 – The Salang tunnel fire in Afghanistan kills up to 2,000 people.

Episode 131 - "The Last Exorcism"

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We debate the finer points of first-person filmmaking

Purchase this Back Episode $0.99

Horror Headlines: Thursday September 2nd, 2010

There's a new poster floating around from the upcoming "Let Me In" flick and good news, it's French and it's got just the right amount of blood in it! For those of you French speaking readers keeping track at home "Let me In" is Le Remake of the Swedish film Le "Let the Right One In" that I thought was Le Crap!

If you were in Vegas recently and weren't in a drug induced cloud of rage then you might of scored a peak at what David Tennant is going to look like as Peter Vincent in the upcoming "Fright Night" remake. Then again if you were in Vegas and were spending your time looking for horror movie posters then I don't think you deserve to be reading my news. I bid you good day sir... Good day sir!

Maybe I'm out of touch good people at Spike but I've been reading your nominees for the Ultimate Scream category for your 2010 Scream Awards and I'm a bit confused as to why something like "Avatar" is nominated. Does Ultimate Scream mean I should be screaming at my computer while reading your stupid ass nominee list? Cause ya got me!

Want to experience a producer and a director give each other high fives via the written word? You're in luck then! Eli Roth and Daniel Stamm recently sat down with Empire Magazine to discuss "The Last Exorcism", mashed potatoes and fashion. Spoiler! Eli Roth is a charming SOB.

In Real People News: 

Tasers are so hot right now! Just yesterday a student at Westlake Middle School in North Carolina felt the tasers wrath after she refused to stop choking a smaller boy in her school. If I had tased every girl who made me feel like crap in middle school 85% off the yearbook photos would of featured girls with smoldering hair.

On this day in history: 

1666 - The Great Fire of London broke out. It destroyed nearly 400 acres, including some 13,000 houses and the old St. Paul's Cathedral.

On The Next Podcast: "The Last Exorcism"

Next up on the movie list is the Eli Roth produced "The Last Exorcism". Can the film live up to the hype? We're still not sure but one thing we do know is Eric and Joe go to see the movie together and there's some awkward moments when they both reach for the popcorn.

Horror Headlines: Thursday February 11th, 2009

Good news for fans of "The Book of Eli" and "From Hell": Sibling directors The Hughes Brothers are slated to lense the live-action adaptation of Katsuhiro Otomo's graphic novel "Akira". I tap my chin worriedly, though I am intrigued by the idea. I also like Vanilla Coke, so go figure.

Thanks to the fine, opportunistic folks working behind-the-scenes at Sony Pictures, James Cameron's underwater epic "Pirahna II: The Spawning" will arrive on DVD this April. If you ever get the opportunity to procure Cameron's autograph, be sure to bring your copy of the film along for the ride. I'm sure he'll appreciate the joke.

Speaking of DVD release dates, E1 Entertainment has picked up North American distribution rights for director Fruit Chan's ambitious remake of Hideo Nakata's supernatural freakshow "Don't Look Up." The film stars Henry Thomas, and Kevin Corrigan, and Eli Roth. Yes, I said Eli Roth. Got a problem with that?

In Real People News: 

Although I'm honestly not that surprised, it turns out that grandmothers enjoy smoking crack before embarking on a high-speed police chases. I've also heard that AARP gives unbelievable discounts on illegal narcotics to all its card-carrying members. I can't wait to get old!

Grandfathers, on the other hand, are a little different. Instead of drugs and violence, they prefer to flush stink bombs down toilets and spray so-called "fart spray" inside Wal-Marts. I suppose its beats the old "pull my finger" routine, though not by much.

On this day in history: 

2006 - Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shoots Harry Whittington in the face during a hunting trip gone painfully awry.

Trailer: Ti West's "Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever"

What a coincidence. The same week we review Ti West's "House of the Devil", his forsaken horror film "Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever" finally has a trailer land online. Word is that West had a falling out with Lionsgate over the film. Combine that with the fact that this is coming out about 5 years after anyone cares, and you have to wonder if it will even make a blip on horror fan's radars. Still, it's polar opposite material from "House", so I'm intrigued to see how West (and the Editors at Lionsgate) handle it.

Horror Headlines: Friday August 21st, 2009

If there's one thing I can always promise you, it's not to BS you. Your time is valuable and really, you should be doing something more productive with your work time than screwing around on horror websites. That being said, there is no horror news today. Well, at least nothing worth noting. I mean, do you really care that Karl Urban has been cast in something called “Priest”?

Oh, wait...here's something:

Eli Roth says that his slasher parody/homage “Thanksgiving” is still a “very real possibility” . YAWN, WANK. Do we, really as a collective of genre fans, really even care about announcements like this anymore? Where's “Trailer Park”, Eli? How's “Cell” coming along?? Here's my new rule: I refuse to get excited about anything, ever, until I see a trailer or, at the very least, a poster with a hard 'n' fast date.

You want some real news? How about that the novelization of the movie “Black Devil Doll” is out! Why is this so important? Because I wrote the introduction! Is this probably the most important book of our generation, if any generation? I would have to go out on a limb and say YES. Yes, it is. So don't be a racist and order a copy now! Order two!

In Real People News: 

Porn studios have been accused of violating workplace safety, according to OSHA. Yes, OSHA regulates porn—who knew! I'd like to see the workplace safety manual for that. Even better, it would be hilarious if it got mixed up with, say, a fast food joint's manual—extra “secret sauce” for me! (And by sauce, I mean jism.)

Mexico, in a bold move, has decriminalized marijuana. When I asked my pot-smoking neighbor Chad “Kind Bud” Budderson for comment, he said: “Hey bro...hold on, let me turn down the Dave Matthews Band...OK. So Mexico says it's cool to carry the sticky-icky? Bro, they are so ahead of us in, like, laws and stuff. Some lawyers need to take make some laws so we can get that shit over here, dude, or I'm moving to Cancun, brah! Sun up, wake 'n' bake...um, what was I talkin' about?”

On this day in history: 

In 1959, President Eisenhower proclaims Hawaii the 50th state in the Union. Only two years later, our current President, Barack Obama, would be born in Kenya. YEAH I WENT THERE.

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