Horror Headlines: Thursday, March 22nd, 2011

The problem with all this coffee I drink is that it makes me have to pee every ten minutes. I feel like I get up from my desk and go and by the time I get back I have to go again. I'm two days away from just wetting myself.

Kevin Williamson, the guy who penned the script for "Scream" catastrophes has just landed Maggie Grace, of "I don't understand why everyone thinks Maggie Grace is so hot" fame, for his new serial killer series. She'll play the lone survivor of the serial killer who's on the loose and being hunted by the FBI. "Lost". She was apparently on "Lost" at some point too. I never watched that show. I heard the ending was stupid. Good talk.

Rapper, producer and medical student Dr. Dre has decided to toss his hat into the horror ring with a new "best in the snow" chiller that's being cooked up for his Crucial Films production company. Vik Weet (don't know him) will pen the script and Daniel Schnider (not a clue) will co-producer with Dre.

George Orwell's classic novel "1984" is once again being prepped for a big screen adaptation. Word has it that Ron Howard and Brian Grazer are tag teaming the flick and currently looking to get it off the ground. No word on who will direct or write the script but this is one of the books I actually read in High School so I for one am excited.

One time when I was working really late my wife came into the city to pick me up, cause she's awesome and does nice things. We hit a bunch of traffic at the Holland tunnel and while we were sitting there I looked at the large SUV sitting next to us and there was Famke Janssen in the passenger seat. Apparently her and whoever was driving got sick of the traffic and decided they had the right to hop the curb and make a u-turn. I rolled down the window and yelled "Just because you're Famke doesn't mean the laws of the road don't apply to you!" She smiled at me and I will forever love her. On top of that she's also been cast in Eli Roth's new Netflix exclusive series "Hemlock Grove". Good story, huh?

In Real People News: 

Police in NYC are looking for a 400 pound man who is suspected of groping an 11 year old girl in a Dunkin Donuts. I'm no Columbo but I'd bet money that fat SOB will return to the scene of the crime pretty soon for some more Boston Creme.

A strange unexplained outbreak in Uganda is turning the children into zombie like monsters. Seizures, violent behavior, personality changes, and a bunch of other wacky symptoms are said to associated with the illness which as of right now has no cure. I assume this guy has something to do with it.

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