Horror Headlines: Tuesday, May 1st, 2011

April showers bring May flowers. And Mayflower's bring Pilgrims! My first grade teacher, Mr. Lewis, taught me that. She might have been the oldest person I ever knew. Get to know me.

There's a lot of awful things I would like to see happen to Los Angeles but I can honestly say a dinosaur attack has never crossed my mind. Universal though has decided to move forward with a picture that will be co-written and directed by John Clisham about just such an event happening. I for one welcome out new dino-overloads.

Wait Seth Rogen and Jay Baruchel are doing a movie called "The Apocalypse" and Jason Segel has decided to join the cast? This is unprecedented. After years of demanding these guys have finally decided to maker a movie! This will be the most original film ever imagined with a cast no one has seen before. What's it about? Well the title is elusive but it's about the end of the world. I KNOW! Breaking new ground. Emma Watson has joined the cast too, but that's not really funny.

Everyone loves Amber Heard. Not enough to watch that Playboy show she was on for about 3 weeks but they still love her. Word around campus is that she'll soon be cast in "Subject 6", a new film about a student who is a paid participant in a month-long behavioral study but quickly begins to suspect she's actually a prisoner. I mean I don't think anyone actually loves her enough to see any of her movies. But still, we adore her.

Eli Roth has announced that he will be opening a new haunted house attraction in Las Vegas this coming September. The year round attraction will be called Goretorium and will be a multilevel experience for super horror fans around the globe. This actually sounds pretty cool. I'd like to go there with you and maybe take in a show. I love buffets.

In Real People News: 

I've never been cut off at a bar but if I was I'd like to think I'd handle it better than this guy in Texas who decided to barricade the bar from the outside and set it on fire. I'd also like to think if I did do that I would run away and not get caught like he did. I have high standards for myself.

Kids do the craziest things when they're drunk. Like this Illinois teen who got hammered and then bit her mother and dog. She's in jail now. Kids in jail also do the darnedest things. Like get sexed into gangs.

Joe

Podcast Co-Host/Writer/Beer Drinker Extraordinaire