kevin williamson

Horror Headlines: Thursday, March 22nd, 2011

The problem with all this coffee I drink is that it makes me have to pee every ten minutes. I feel like I get up from my desk and go and by the time I get back I have to go again. I'm two days away from just wetting myself.

Kevin Williamson, the guy who penned the script for "Scream" catastrophes has just landed Maggie Grace, of "I don't understand why everyone thinks Maggie Grace is so hot" fame, for his new serial killer series. She'll play the lone survivor of the serial killer who's on the loose and being hunted by the FBI. "Lost". She was apparently on "Lost" at some point too. I never watched that show. I heard the ending was stupid. Good talk.

Rapper, producer and medical student Dr. Dre has decided to toss his hat into the horror ring with a new "best in the snow" chiller that's being cooked up for his Crucial Films production company. Vik Weet (don't know him) will pen the script and Daniel Schnider (not a clue) will co-producer with Dre.

George Orwell's classic novel "1984" is once again being prepped for a big screen adaptation. Word has it that Ron Howard and Brian Grazer are tag teaming the flick and currently looking to get it off the ground. No word on who will direct or write the script but this is one of the books I actually read in High School so I for one am excited.

One time when I was working really late my wife came into the city to pick me up, cause she's awesome and does nice things. We hit a bunch of traffic at the Holland tunnel and while we were sitting there I looked at the large SUV sitting next to us and there was Famke Janssen in the passenger seat. Apparently her and whoever was driving got sick of the traffic and decided they had the right to hop the curb and make a u-turn. I rolled down the window and yelled "Just because you're Famke doesn't mean the laws of the road don't apply to you!" She smiled at me and I will forever love her. On top of that she's also been cast in Eli Roth's new Netflix exclusive series "Hemlock Grove". Good story, huh?

In Real People News: 

Police in NYC are looking for a 400 pound man who is suspected of groping an 11 year old girl in a Dunkin Donuts. I'm no Columbo but I'd bet money that fat SOB will return to the scene of the crime pretty soon for some more Boston Creme.

A strange unexplained outbreak in Uganda is turning the children into zombie like monsters. Seizures, violent behavior, personality changes, and a bunch of other wacky symptoms are said to associated with the illness which as of right now has no cure. I assume this guy has something to do with it.

Scream 4 (REVIEW)

The original "Scream", released in 1996, was in many ways a movie out of place in its own decade. For starters, it was "one of those slasher films", a term in itself that did nothing at the time but promote jeers from anyone within earshot, due mostly to a decade's worth of dead-horse beating sequels attempting to cash in on the wave of successes from the early 80's. It was also a small, suspense driven movie in the decade of the CGI laden mega-blockbuster.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday April 27th, 2010

The 3-D craze has donned its leather jacket and pointed its motorcycle towards the ramp as Paramount Pictures has announced plans to make a new "Ring" movie, this time in 3-D. David Loucka has already been tapped to pen the script in what Paramount hopes is a reinvention of the franchise.

"Scream" scribe Kevin Williamson put to rest the rumors that Jamie Kennedy will be returning for "Scream IV". "We're not that universe where you can bring people back from the dead. That would be just a cheat." Good to see that there's still some integrity in Hollywood!

While not really news in and of its self, be sure to keep your eyes peeled for this sweet "Nightmare on Elm Street" popcorn bucket when you head out to catch the remake this weekend!

In a recent press junket for his latest feature "Robin Hood", director Ridley Scott let slip that the both of the upcoming "Alien" prequels will be released in 3D. If you're paying attention, you'll notice that I used the word 'both'. Scott also let it be known that he is planning on two prequels for the franchise.

"Machete" is no longer the only feature to spawn from the fake trailers shown in 2007's "Grindhouse". The next trailer to be stretched to full length will be "Hobo With a Shotgun" starring none other that Rutger Hauer.

In Real People News: 

Christina Cifaldi has a beef against Wal Mart's clothing lines as she has been arrested for $163 worth of clothes, taking them into the fitting room and urinating all over them. It was pretty easy for officials to deduce who the culprit was as Cifaldi had left her wallet and drivers license in the fitting room next to her stinky leavings.

A Brazilian woman decided to go for a drive after one too many drinks, and ended up causing the death of another woman and her unborn child. When the drunken 24 year old tried to leave the scene of the accident, a group of onlookers drug her from her car and shot her five times for her crime.

On this day in history: 

4977 BC - God creates the universe, according to calculations by mystic and part-time astronomer Johannes Kepler.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday October 4th, 2009

"Glee" fans rejoice; show star Cory Monteith has joined the cast of Jamie Babbit's "Breaking the Girl", a story of manipulative college girls suckering others into killing for them.

John Carpenter is working on his latest film "The Ward", and is now releasing pre-production diaries on his official site.

Kevin Williamson talks "Scream" reboots. As of now, the only real word is "It's going great!", with a few minor details.

In the 'do they really think people will buy that' department, details have been released for the Blu-ray edition of Roland Emmerich's "Godzilla" remake.

In Real People News: 

Boston Policemen were called in to investigate a suspicious find; a spilled chest of organs lying in a parking garage.

A 10 Ton Japanese fishing trawler was sunk off of Eastern Japan by a 200kg giant Jellyfish. Be sure to click through to fuel your sea creature infested nightmares!

On this day in history: 

1864 – American Civil War: Sherman's March to the Sea – Union General William Tecumseh Sherman begins burning Atlanta, Georgia to the ground in preparation for his march south.

Horror Headlines: Friday October 16th, 2009

Last night, I bought a bag of candy corn at Target and, somehow, ended up eating the whole bag. While it is relatively guilt-free treat (it's a fat free candy!), when I woke up at 4 AM, with sugary foam and dried wax-like candy bits clogging my throat while throwing up orange-syrupy goo, I realized just how much I actually hate candy corn. I still have no idea why I got it. (Of course, as I type this, I just put a stray piece of corn that I had dropped on the floor last night in my mouth.)

The big news today? That the much jizzed-on “Paranormal Activity” goes wide, and all thanks to the 1,000,000 of you that took the time to vote online! Sure, we're in the middle of two wars, the dollar is becoming useless and we are on the verge of eating our pets, but, hey, entertainment reigns supreme! The best thing about this massive hype? I can't wait for the sure-to-come backlash now that everyone can see the movie without having to resort to midnight movie theatrics. For more info, click here. To join the Army, click here.

What's the other big news on every single Goddamned horror movie site? In a just posted Twitter, Wes Craven thinks that Kevin Williamson's “Scream 4” script “sounds fantastic”. In other Craven/Twitter news that hasn't made it to the news sites yet, today he's eating “tomato soup for lunch...again”, “hates traffic on the 405” and wants to know if you've heard about “that krazy balloon boy in Colorado”.

According to Variety, “Universal Pictures has set Chris Messina to star in "Devil," a horror-thriller based on an M. Night Shyamalan story that will be directed by John Erick Dowdle and Drew Dowdle.” I have no idea who Chris Messina or the Dowdles are, but if M. Night Shyamalan has something to do with it I AM THERE. That man is a cinematic genius. Just like Rob Zombie.

In Real People News: 

OK. So the real news is this a-hole family, the Heenes. They live up the road from me and it was exciting to watch the balloon escape right from my backyard, penis filling with blood at the hope that, at any minute, a child will tragically come falling out of the flimsy cardboard basket. And that was before we found out they were media whores who appeared on “Wife Swap” and put their kids in a music video called, ahem, “Not Pussified”! My advice to young Falcon? Keep trying to reach the stars, son! UPDATE: The boy just vomited on the Today Show!

Midget wrestlers Alberto and Alejandro Pérez Jiménez-- aka La Parkita (Little Death) and Espectrito II, respectively--were found dead in a hotel room after they were poisoned and robbed by a pair of devious hookers believed to be part of an organized crime ring of murderous prostitutes. I FUCKING LOVE MEXICO.

In one Chicago area high school, 115 girls are preggers. That's 1 out of 8. My (jimmy) hats off the to graduating class of Louis Fowler Memorial High School!

On this day in history: 

In 1916, Margaret Sanger founds Planned Parenthood. This puts the former birth control clinic, Kick Your Whore Ass Down the Stairs, Inc., quickly out of business.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday August 5th, 2009

Tons of new pics from "Sorority Row". Not going to lie, these people know how to market the crap out of a movie with tons of hot chicks. Not that it's hard, but still, I give them credit.

Kevin Williamson talks "Scream 4". Yes, this is really happening people. Brace yourselves.

5 clips from "A Perfect Getaway", the vacation themed thriller in theaters this Friday.

David Leslie Johnson, who wrote last week's release "Orphan", has been hired by Leonardo DiCaprio's production company to pen an updated version of "Little Red Riding Hood".

Speaking of kids no one wants... Larry Fessenden has been tapped to direct the English language remake of "The Orphanage", the 2007 Spanish film. This remake is also being produced by Guillermo Del Toro, who helped organize the original.

In Real People News: 

In this guy's defense, getting up to go upstairs to pee is really tough when you're tired. So why not just urinate on your front porch. And if you're like this guy, rub one out while you're there... just for good measure.

The British Government approves a plan to put 20,000 "problem families" under 24 hour CCTV surveillance IN THEIR HOMES. And all without even the hint of irony... this is terrifying.

Son missed his dead father, so he dug him up and brought him home. Something I learned today: that's frowned upon.

On this day in history: 

1962: In her Brentwood, California home, Marilyn Monroe dies in bed, naked, after swallowing an overdose of sleeping pills. Rumors persist to this day that the CIA had her killed in order to cover up her alleged affair with JFK.

Horror Headlines: Friday June 19th, 2009

New viral site for Shane Ackerman's "9". No antibiotics required... I swear!

A lot of speculation going on about this "Halloween 2" image. Speculate no more, we'll see it for about 2 seconds in the film... mark my words.

In Real People News: 

3,000 people now testing out The Pirate Bay's new "IPREDator", which based on the name is either a way to download files online while hiding your identity, or the latest tech accessory for pedophiles.

Total psycho... ahem, I mean "Transformers fan", creates life size recreation of "Bumblebee" in his front yard. Don't worry, we're talking cartoon-style folks, he went old school with that shit.

Wisconsin lowers the hunting age to 10. Which is good, because from what I hear shooting stuff is pretty much the only thing to do there.

On this day in history: 

1867: Emperor Maximilian of Mexico is executed by firing squad. Although he bribed the seven riflemen to not shoot him in the head, one did anyway.

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