husk

Horror Headlines: Wednesday, July 11th, 2012

The saga of "Ghostbusters 3" continues today with new that "Men In Black III" and "Tropic Thunder" script Etan Cohen has been picked up to rewrite the script. I of course originally misread his name as Ethan Coen and got very excited and confused at the same time. I'm kind of stupid sometimes.

If there's one thing you know about me it's that I love me some "God Of War". I know I've never really mentioned the classic PS2 and PS3 games but I think it's been implied over the years that I'm a big fan. Of the first one at least. I've never played the others. But still. Biggest fan ever. So I'm excited to see that Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan have been tapped to write the script for the big screen adaptation of the game. Not so much excited about them. Just excited that a movie is being made. I like movies.

I don't know what it is about Eli Roth but I just want to be his friend and hang out with him. Nothing weird or creepy. I'd just like to play video games with him and maybe get dinner at Outback. But it looks like he's getting busy because he's now in talks to direct a new vampire tale titled "Harker" which Russell Crowe is already attached to. Try to tell me you wouldn't want to split a bloomin onion with Eli. Try to tell me you wouldn't and I"ll punch you right in your god damn face.

"The Monkey's Paw" is a classic tale about a man who comes into possession of a strange monkey's paw that has the power to grant his wishes. I say "classic" because I remember there being an episode of "The Monkees" based on the story and I refuse to believe those guys did anything that wasn't awesome. Well it was only a matter of time before a film was made about the tale and it looks like Brett Simmons, who directed "Husk", is the one leading the charge on it. "Last Train to Clarksville" is a really fun song for opening credits. I'm just tossing it out there Brett.

In Real People News: 

Doctors in New Jersey removed a 51 pound tumor from a woman who had waited over a month to be looked at because she was waiting for her insurance to kick in. Enjoy your morning yogurt.

And the bath salts fun continues. This time with a Georgia man being arrested after he tried to fight cops while he had feces in his mouth. No word as to whose feces they were. I hope not his own. That's just gross.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday February 2nd, 2011

For those of you who have been anxiously awaiting a remake of "The Gate" there's good news and bad news. The good news is they've gone into pre-production so there is in fact going to be a movie. The bad news is there won't be any filming in the near future because apparently all the 3D magic going into the production is going to take a long ass time to set up. It's called ying and yang folks, Google it.

"Choose" is a new indie horror flick that apparently opens with a girl having to decide which parent a slasher kills. The new trailer is up on the tubes and looks pretty awesome I must say. Unfortunately there's no US release date yet for us while the UK already has this one sitting on their DVD shelves. But fear not, I think they still love techno music over there so everything kind of evens out.

What the hell After Dark Originals?! I get all excited about your films and then I found out tha "Husk" will be hitting the airwaves this weekend on Syfy. You can't show nudity on Syfy, you can't show guts flying on Syfy and you sure as hell can't have a good movie on Syfy. Except the ones with Debbie Gibson in them, those things are freakin gold.

I don't care if you think Joaquin Phoenix is a jackass that man has got talent. And not the sarcastic type I usually make, the guy is an awesome actor and now he's supposedly the front runner to play our former president in the big screen version of "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter". Seriously, did you see "We Own the Night"? I will fight you!

In Real People News: 

When you finally decide on a tattoo you don't want to wait, no matter how drunk you are. Unfortunately for this woman in Kentucky she was a little too drunk and got shot down by her local tattoo artist. She of course then got in her truck and destroyed the shop and then went on to take her vengeance out on some gravestones. If you love Winger you want people to know.

Yes I know smuggling drugs across the border is bad but you know what is awesome? Doing it with giant catapults! Still very much illegal though so probably not the best idea. Again though, awesome.

Horror Headlines: Thursday January 13th, 2011

Suicidal birds, a crazy scarecrow and a women hammering nails into her fingers. All a part of the new trailer for the "Husk", the first release from the new After Dark Originals series. It was also my Senior Prom theme, which is a really weird coincidence.

Christopher Landon, the guy who wrote "Paranormal Activity 2" may in fact not be writing the third film in the series but instead working on a new film titled "Wake" which would star none other than Miss Miley Cyrus. Now who's excited? Just me? Whatever, you guys are pricks.

Here's Amanda Seyfried in a hot new poster for the upcoming film "Red Riding Hood". Look at those ankles! Man it's like Playboy if it had come out in 1812 or whenever the Pilgrims came to Florida and started a colony. Something like that.

Oh Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, you're like the two best friends I always wanted but never had. We would spend our weekends in your parents basements drinking beers and playing air hockey. We'd high five so many times our hands would hurt. But enough of my fantasy, here's the second trailer for the alien flick "Paul", which stars those two if you couldn't of guessed.

In Real People News: 

With all the birds falling from the sky for no reason it's nice to have a clear answer to why these birds in Romania dropped dead. They simple answer? They were drunk, drunk as hell actually after they got into some leftovers of the wine making process. That's how I want to go.

And this is heartwarming isn't it. An 8 year old boy in Oklahoma had to be rescued after he got his tongue stuck to a metal pole when he was dared to lick it. This of course was also a famous scene in "The Godfather 3" I believe, I love the classics.

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