April showers bring May flowers. And Mayflower's bring Pilgrims! My first grade teacher, Mr. Lewis, taught me that. She might have been the oldest person I ever knew. Get to know me.
There's a lot of awful things I would like to see happen to Los Angeles but I can honestly say a dinosaur attack has never crossed my mind. Universal though has decided to move forward with a picture that will be co-written and directed by John Clisham about just such an event happening. I for one welcome out new dino-overloads.
Wait Seth Rogen and Jay Baruchel are doing a movie called "The Apocalypse" and Jason Segel has decided to join the cast? This is unprecedented. After years of demanding these guys have finally decided to maker a movie! This will be the most original film ever imagined with a cast no one has seen before. What's it about? Well the title is elusive but it's about the end of the world. I KNOW! Breaking new ground. Emma Watson has joined the cast too, but that's not really funny.
Everyone loves Amber Heard. Not enough to watch that Playboy show she was on for about 3 weeks but they still love her. Word around campus is that she'll soon be cast in "Subject 6", a new film about a student who is a paid participant in a month-long behavioral study but quickly begins to suspect she's actually a prisoner. I mean I don't think anyone actually loves her enough to see any of her movies. But still, we adore her.
Eli Roth has announced that he will be opening a new haunted house attraction in Las Vegas this coming September. The year round attraction will be called Goretorium and will be a multilevel experience for super horror fans around the globe. This actually sounds pretty cool. I'd like to go there with you and maybe take in a show. I love buffets.
In Real People News:
I've never been cut off at a bar but if I was I'd like to think I'd handle it better than this guy in Texas who decided to barricade the bar from the outside and set it on fire. I'd also like to think if I did do that I would run away and not get caught like he did. I have high standards for myself.
Just a heads up, I feel awesome today. Someone's getting a hug that goes on for just a little too long.
What is it about Stanley Tucci's name that makes me want to pinch a baby's cheeks? Not like in a creepy way, just like in an adorable way. This has gotten kind of weird. He's joined the cast of "Your Voice in My Head" and will play a psychiatrist who helps a self abusing woman, played by Emma Watson, heal her mental scars. Tucci Tucci Tucci! Come on, it's adorable.
I've seen the 1995 movie "Embrace of the Vampire" no less than a dozen times and I could not tell you what the hell it's about. All I remember is Alyssa Milano was nude for 90% of the film and had sex with just about everyone that was on screen. CineTel Films, who I've never heard of but are now my favorite studio, have decided it's time for a remake of the soft core classic. I wonder if Milano will have a cameo. God I hope so.
Chloe Moretz is kind of awesome. She was brutal in "Kick Ass", she was creepy as hell in "Let Me In" and she's pretty damn funny on "30 Rock". So now I'm excited about the "Carrie" remake because she's officially been offered the lead role. If there's anyone that can pull off a pig-blood prom dress it's her. I just hope it isn't after labor day. That's a fashion no-no.
If you didn't like "The Woman In Black" then I kind of want to punch you in the face. It scared the crap out of me. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm not going to punch you in the face if you don't buy the DVD when it's released in May though. I understand times are though and you can't drop money on every movie I like. Where the hell would you even keep the entire "Police Academy" series? There's like 9 films. That's so much shelf space.
I love it! A woman in NY is under arrested after she lost her shit on the highway and just started throwing coffee into people's windows. Sometimes you just gotta burn people to make a point that you're sick of traffic.