alien

9 "Gravity" Inspired Deaths

Alfonso Cuarón's "Gravity" will hit theaters this weekend and it's sure to cause mass hysteria for all those astrophobics out there. Not only is it going to scare, thrill and surely endear even more people to Sandra Bullock's life plights, but the movie has been garnering such early critical adulation that place it square in the catbird seat for Oscar contention. For a thriller with such a simple premise it's quite an interesting level of hype; though Alfonso Cuarón has always been a fascinating and accomplished director so all merit may be deserved.

The Terror Within (REVIEW)

If imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, then "The Terror Within" should go ahead and propose marriage to Ridley Scott's classic "Alien". After a very brief spell of originality, "The Terror Within" seamlessly devolves into a direct lift of the best bits in "Alien" including a chest burster scene, ventilation shaft hijinks, and disposing of the monster through air related means.

Prometheus (REVIEW)

Noomi Rapace in Prometheus

Ridley Scott announced himself on the directing scene in 1979 with "Alien," then followed that now-classic film, with another all-time-great in "Blade Runner." The man could well have hung up his directing hat at that point and basked in nerd adulation into perpetuity. He didn't, instead moving from fantasy with "Legend" to more mainstream films and eventually Academy Award nominees and winners.

9 Space Themed Horror Movies

Let's all freak out, "Prometheus" opens today. The excitement is palpable (even with mixed reviews coming in) and I personally can't wait to get thrown out of an airlock once more by Ridley Scott. There's a lot to be excited for with the film: a new entry in the Alien franchise, the release of a big budget sci-fi horror film, and more Michael Fassbender in our lives. Though its the sci-fi horror angle that will always get me, particularly with a setting in space and outer worlds. So this week I'm running down 9 Scary Space Movies in preparation of the big debut.

Wild Speculation: Who are Ridley Scott's Space Jockeys?

iO9 has a great article about Ridley Scott and his "Space Jockeys" (pictured above). They made their first mysterious appearance in "Alien" (1979), and are starting to pop up in promotional materials for "Prometheus". So since this is the internet, they decided to dig up every reference that exists to the creatures to try and make sense of how they fit into the universe.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday, January 25th, 2012

Tonight I'm going to Hooters with some former co-workers and I'm not going to lie, I had some trouble sleeping last night from all the excitement. I've been listening to the band Hatebreed all day getting myself pumped up for the big event. If you've never been and you think Hooters is depressing then I suggest you come to the one in NYC because you're 100% right. You see in a lot of locations Hooters gets really hot girls to work there but in the city there's really expensive restaurants where girls can get really big tips and not have to be harassed by drunk pricks downing wings.

How the hell the Germans have kept this clip from "Psycho" a secret for so long is beyond me but here it is, extended scenes from some of the film's classic shots that were apparently too hot for us American's back in the day but were A-OK for the Krauts. I wonder if they have the real ending for "The Sopranos" sitting around somewhere too.

"Snow Piercer" sounds like the name of a terrible cover band but it turns out it's the titled of Bong Joon-ho's new film. The movie tells the story of a group of people trapped on a train after the earth has been completely frozen. Who would you want as a fellow passenger on that train? If you said "Alien" alum John Hurt then you're in luck because he's been confirmed for the cast. If you said anyone other than him though you're kind of screwed.

Yesterday I told you how "The Crow" remake looks to be back on and today it appears a new writer and director have already been selected. Jesse Wigutow, who wrote some short films I will never see has been tapped to pen the script and F. Javier Gutierrez who directed "Before the Fall" which I'm 75% sure I saw will take the lead. Seriously, if you've never been to Hooters you should give it a shot. Their wings are so god damn good.

This can't be good news. It looks like that Lily Collins has officially dropped out from the lead role in the upcoming remake of "The Evil Dead". Apparently the drop out is because of "date issues". I assume this means she wants to go out on a date with me and just found out I'm married so she's too depressed to act. That's just my guess.

In Real People News: 

Managers of a park in England are toying with the idea of releasing honey bees in order to deter vandals from damaging historic buildings. I think the way this goes is they release the bees, then they need to release birds to eat the bees, then something else. It all ends with giant shark robots killing us all.

Here's a smart guy who decided to lock himself in an airplane bathroom and smoke some pot. I don't know if he also tried to tamper with the smoke detector but I'm pretty sure that alone will get you the chair.

Snapshots: "Prometheus" is just messing with us at this point...

I mean, am I still supposed to pretend this isn't an "Alien" prequel? If I am that's fine, I just want to make sure I'm playing by the rules... (Release date: June 8th, 2012)

Horror Headlines: Tuesday, December 20th, 2011

Before you read today's news I should probably clarify that I am not into tall men or old dudes. Jessica Biel is good looking sure but there's something about her face that kind of throws me off. What can I say, I'm a hard man to please. Uncomfortable yet? Wait till you get to the part where I accuse you of being a jerk because I like "The Big Lebowski".

Get excited folks because there's a now video online with some hot behind the scenes action from the upcoming "Alien" prequel "Prometheus". Now get depressed because there's not one freakin alien to be seen in the clip. There is a lot of Ridley Scott though. So if you're into old guys this video will really do it for you. You should also check out "Cocoon". Tons of old guys in their bathing suits. I won't judge.

"Paranormal Activity 3" is headed to DVD on January 24th and today we've got a stockpile of features that are going to be included. I realize stockpile is not the right word but it sounds really cool so lets just go with it. Both the DVD and Blu-Ray will feature the theatrical and unrated versions of the film and the later will also give a gaggle of additional clips that didn't make it into the film. Alright that's not really much at all is it. This would be the worst stockpile ever imagined if it really was one.

I like Dennis Quaid but I have a tendency to mistake him for Jeff Bridges who I really like, mostly because he was in "The Big Lebowski" and that movie was awesome and I love it. I know I know I'm a hipster prick who references The Dude at least once a day. Well 'Eff you buddy I saw it in the theaters opening weekend so get off my back. Man you're such a jerk sometimes. Here's the trailer for "Beneath The Darkness", which stars Quaid as a local funeral home director with a dark secret. Wow it took us a while to get here didn't it?

And if you're into Jessica Biel, which I'm assuming everyone who isn't into old guys is, here's some new shots from her upcoming flick "The Tall Man". The film is about a small town haunted by the urban legend of a "Tall Man" who kidnaps children. So today we've had old guys, tall men and Jessica Biel. If my news didn't get you all hot and bothered there's a good chance you're already dead.

In Real People News: 

I've always wondered what the shipping costs would be if you die somewhere far from home. I wonder this because there's a good chance I will drop dead in the middle of the World Showcase in EPCOT and have to be FedExed back to New Jersey. Well the costs must be high because here's a story about a guy who opted to drive 225 miles back to Canada after his wife died on their US vacation.

Here's a story about some sort of nuclear waste that is growing and might be alive... or something. Honestly I'm confused as hell by the article but I'm pretty sure the gist is that we're all going to die at the hands of a toxic zombie.

Slither (REVIEW)

As a craggy asteroid rockets through space two bored police officers sit in their cruiser. One takes a nap. The other clocks the airspeed of a whippoorwill. Suddenly the asteroid is shown on a collision course with Earth. Our cops? Still bored, though one more annoyed with the other. The asteroid screams through the atmosphere, erupting in flame and splitting before impacting in the dirt a mile or two behind them. The smoking asteroid cracks open as we hear a squirmy chattering. Sound familiar? Of course.

Horror Headlines: Monday December 20th, 2010

It's time to get excited! Thousands of white trash tattoos will once again be cool now that the artist H.R. Giger has agreed to come on board to help develop the as yet untitled "Alien" prequel. Even more surprising? H.R. Giger is still alive! Who knew!?

It's always nice when the big Hollywood types fess up to their short comings. Like Mr. Sam Worthington who has finally gone on record as saying maybe the "Clash of the Titans" remake was kind of crap. He has yet to apologize for having the dreamiest eyes in the world though.

And just when you thought the Zombies have done it all a movie comes along called "Ninja Zombies". The film is apparently about a group of ninjas, that are also zombies. You probably could have guessed that from the title, but then I have no reason to be here. You wouldn't do that to me, would you?

If you don't like Disney and all their magic then you are a whiny little prick who hates fun and all things good. That's a fact. As a horror fan how could you not be excited to see them putting together a movie about the "Museum of the Weird"? The film is based on a Disneyland attraction that never was. If you have bad things to say about this I will fight you.

In Real People News: 

It seems obvious that if you're shooting a movie in a city and you shoot up a car you don't just leave that car sitting in the middle of a street. But I guess the folks filming in Philadelphia didn't think there would be any concern when they walked away from their blown out vehicles with wires hanging out of them. So the cops called a bomb squad. Silly Philadelphia.

Never go to bed angry my friends. It's a solid way to keep a relationship going and an even better to way to make sure your lady doesn't light your crotch on fire while you're sleeping. You're welcome for the advice.

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