the evil dead

A group of pirates hijack a boat to steal it’s cargo and in the process maliciously gun down everyone on board. Months later the ship continues to reappear off the coast and a young girl named Yoriko feels strangely drawn to this ghost ship. She makes her way on board to find out her twin sister was among those who had been murdered, and soon afterwards the gunmen begin to die one at a time.

Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights already sounds pretty dandy with a "Cabin In the Woods" maze being announced this year and now there's news that a "Evil Dead" maze will be landing in both Hollywood and Orlando parks. I for one am very excited for the opportunity to see a morbidly obese man dressed up as Ash. I think that's probably the way we'd all want it at least.

"The Conjuring" doesn't come out until this Friday but New Line is throwing caution to the wind and already working on a sequel for the film. Based on what's supposed to a be a true story the film follows paranormal investigators who try to help a family being terrorized by an evil spirit. Early reviews have been decent, there's a solid chance this will be a hit and I've been sleeping pretty well so I say let's just go for it.

Good news? Platinum Dunes producer Brad Fuller took to the twitters to answer the question of when a "Friday the 13th" sequel would begin production. It looks like fairly soon actually, within the next month once they finish off their Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles project. I can't begin to tell you how filthy that last sentence made me feel.

I completely forgot that this movie was happening but it looks like "Paranormal Activity 5" is being pushed to next year, with a January 6, 2014 being lined up. No word on why the change is being made but if I was a betting man I'd put my money on... honestly I have no idea. Trouble finding the right cleavage for the film? They've got to be running out of actresses who are willing to prance around in a tank top pretending to be afraid of ghosts at this point.

Did you guys hear they remade The Evil Dead?

At a certain point while watching "Evil Dead" I thought to myself that this might just be the goriest film I have ever seen in theaters. That's a caveat worth noting. I would expect that most people visiting this site regularly have absolutely seen gorier films, but I can confidently say that there are things in "Evil Dead" that your average movie-goer has never before seen on a big screen. It's this ability to mimic, and at times honor the splatter-house roots of the original "Evil Dead" that makes this remake such a success.

Between the pic above and the description of the trailer footage shown at the New York Comic Con this weekend, I might actually be excited for the "Evil Dead" remake currently in the works. I know, it's a scary and confusing world out there. Should we hold each other now?

"Twilight" producer, AKA chief glitter consultant, Mark Morgan has just lined up a big screen adaptation of the graphic novel "Head Smash". as his next project. The book with pictures tells the tale of a man who discoveries a serum that gives him super powers and uses it to take revenge on a crime circle that betrayed him. The glitter thing was the only "Twilight" joke I know.

Dave Kajganich, of "Blood Creek" fame, has been tapped by the folks over at Universal to write the script for the upcoming remake of "The Creature From the Black Lagoon". This can't turn out any worse than the "Wolfman" remake so let's keep our chins up on this one. Or not. Honestly I just ate some cookies from a Chinese restaurant and my mouth is numb. I'm kind of worried.

Ethan Hawke's award winning personality helped "Sinister" pull in a respectable $18.3 million this past weekend. Not a ground breaking number but when you consider the flick was only made for $3 million than you start to feel some baby quakes. That may also be these cookies though. I can't see out of my left eye.

The first still from "The Evil Dead" reboot has hit the tubes fresh off a hot unveiling at this past weekend NYC Comic-Con. Not going to lie, it's pretty freaking creepy. I also can't lie about the fact that there's some sort of weird film on my teeth now and brushing doesn't seem to do anything.

Just to confirm a discussion we never had, Ridley Scott has been confirmed to be taking the directing role for "The Counselor". Written by Cormac McCarthy, the film follows a respected lawyer who tries his hand at the drug game... with sexy results. Wait no, terrible, not sexy. Not sexy at all.

If you're looking for more "The Evil Dead" casting news then this is going to be the best Monday of your life. Looks like Lou Taylor Pucci, who I don't know but only hate 1/3 of his name, is in talks to join the reboot. Lou would play a young smarty pants who's curiosity gets the gang into trouble. Whatever the hell that means. Pucci is the part of the name I hate in case you're wondering.

Looks like Universal is circling first time director Gary Shore to take on their new film "Dracula Year Zero". Russell Crowe is in talks to star in the film that tells the original story of Vlad the Impaler and how he eventually was turned into the character that Bram Stoker based is classic character on. Not really fair to pick a first time director. How am I suppose to make stupid comments about a guy I don't know? I bet he wears stupid hats.

Remember 2009's "Legion" about an Angel who comes down from the heavens to save the world? Well Syfy is working on a show based on the film. Cause ya know, everyone loved it. Alright I loved it. I can't even be sarcastic about how much I love it. An old lady swears a lot. How can you not love that?

No surprise here but it's still exciting news. Robert Rodriguez has officially begun pre-production for "Machete Kills", the follow up to 2010's Danny Trejo super joint. This time around our hero finds himself hired by the US government to take down a duo hell bent on unleashing war on the world. I bet he does a lot of chicks too. That seams to be his M.O.. Killing and doing chicks. God he's so great.

I'm sorry to be the one to break this terrible news to you but it looks like "Army Of the Dead", the follow up to 2004's "Dawn Of the Dead" remake, might be dead. I know, I'm still in shock, too. According to director Matthijs van Heijningen Jr has said that he doesn't think the movie is going to move forward due to expensive filming costs. Apparently the movie was suppose to take place in Las Vegas. Let's just try to be strong for each other.

It looks like Dolph Lundgren has been confirmed to be taking the lead role in "Battle Of the Damned" a new survival flick that has Lundgren battles both zombies and robots. I know this sounds like the greatest movie ever made. No details on a release date yet but I assume there's going to be some kind of giant Hollywood premiere in the near future. I can't wait for the red carpet coverage.

It looks like "The Evil Dead" reboot once again has a leading lady. Jane Levy, who is just adorable on the new show "Suburgatory" has taken the lead role in the film, an Ash like character who unleashes the evil power of The Book Of The Dead onto the world. I, for one, welcome our new Ash overlord and look forward to seeing what she does with the character. Just adorable.

How the hell the Germans have kept this clip from "Psycho" a secret for so long is beyond me but here it is, extended scenes from some of the film's classic shots that were apparently too hot for us American's back in the day but were A-OK for the Krauts. I wonder if they have the real ending for "The Sopranos" sitting around somewhere too.

"Snow Piercer" sounds like the name of a terrible cover band but it turns out it's the titled of Bong Joon-ho's new film. The movie tells the story of a group of people trapped on a train after the earth has been completely frozen. Who would you want as a fellow passenger on that train? If you said "Alien" alum John Hurt then you're in luck because he's been confirmed for the cast. If you said anyone other than him though you're kind of screwed.

Yesterday I told you how "The Crow" remake looks to be back on and today it appears a new writer and director have already been selected. Jesse Wigutow, who wrote some short films I will never see has been tapped to pen the script and F. Javier Gutierrez who directed "Before the Fall" which I'm 75% sure I saw will take the lead. Seriously, if you've never been to Hooters you should give it a shot. Their wings are so god damn good.

This can't be good news. It looks like that Lily Collins has officially dropped out from the lead role in the upcoming remake of "The Evil Dead". Apparently the drop out is because of "date issues". I assume this means she wants to go out on a date with me and just found out I'm married so she's too depressed to act. That's just my guess.

James Merendino directed "SLC Punk" and all the kids love that movie but he also directed some really crappy low budget horror flicks so don't get too excited when I tell you he's been tapped to direct a new horror comedy titled "The Bitch". The film is about a woman who finds herself trapped in a mansion that is haunted by an evil spirit called.... wait for it... "The Bitch". Ya know, cause the ghost is a big jerk and she won't let you watch the game and she hates all your friends and she complains anytime you want to go out for drinks with your buddies. Man I hate her. Breaking up with that ghost was the best thing I've ever done.

Word around campus is that "The Evil Dead" reboot may have found its new leading lady in the form of Lily Collins, who you might remember from last year's flick "Priest". Apparently she'll be playing the new "Ash", which will be a woman in the retelling, because girls have different parts than boys and therefore the film is completely different now. I love girl parts.

This shouldn't be any sort of surprise but it looks like a release date for "Paranormal Activity 4" has been set for October 19th of this year. No director or story have been assigned to the project but seeing how these things probably take a week or two to make I wouldn't expect to hear anything till around August.

If you've never seen the original "The House on Sorority Row" but loved the remake then you might want to get your fat ass out to the DVD store on January 24th when the original comes out on a a 2 disc special edition DVD. It'll be packed with all kinds of behind the scenes videos, audio commentary, storyboards and god knows what else. Well alright I know what else too, I just don't feel like typing out every freakin detail of the thing. Sometimes you have to do a little work for yourself. I'm not going to be around forever.