"Slide and Dice: The Slasher Film Forever" will officially be thrust out onto DVD this coming May 13. For those of you not in the know, or just confused by the title like I am, the film is a new documentary that focuses on the slasher genre and features interviews with more than 20 folks who have started in or made the films we all love. I assume of course you love "My Bloody Valentine 3D" because they got the guy who directed it. If you know his name you're going to freakin love this thing.
Chad Crawford Kinkle's much praised film "Jug Face" looks to be finding its way onto VOD for us here in the U.S. this coming July thanks to the folks over at Gravitas Ventures. The film follows a small town who worships a large pit that on occasion demands a sacrifice. Just replace the pit with my stomach and sacrifice with KFC and you've pretty much got my life story.
Alfred Hitchcock's classic film "Rebecca" is next on the list for the remake treatment and it looks like Nikolaj Arcel has been hand picked to direct and Steven Knight is set to pen the script. If you're smart you've probably seen some of their films before. If you're obnoxious you'll probably throw a hissy fit over them remaking a Hitchcock film.
Richard T. Jones, who I've apparently seen in a number of films although I can't remember him for the life of me, is the latest addition to the ever growing cast of the upcoming "Godzilla" reboot. Word is he'll be playing some sort of military solider who I assume will battle the giant monster. What were we talking about again? Man I love Easter candy.
Here's a cute story about a Florida escort who is under arrest after she apparently tried to eat her client's penis. I assume no one asked the guy if he paid extra for that. Not that he'd admit to it even if they did. There's just no honesty left in the whoreing business.
Every time I watch an episode of "Shahs of Sunset" a little bit of me dies. Just to be clear I've watched every episode this season. I have trouble looking at myself in the mirror.
The internerds are all a flutter about a new rumor floating around that Mark Frost and David Lynch are in talks with NBC to revive the "Twin Peaks" series for a third season. Whether or not the rumors are true remain to be seen but if they are it sounds like Lynch is hoping most or all of the original cast will return and the series will pick after the same amount of time it's been since the show went off the air. I never watched the show so I really don't have anything funny to tack on here. Kyle MacLachlan looks like he wears women's underwear though.
If you've been waiting around with baited breath for the new A&E series "Bates Motel" well I have good news for your and your mouth. The show will finally hit the airwaves on March 18th for your viewing pleasure. I mean it's not great news. The series based on the Alfred Hitchcock's classic film "Psycho" is still a couple months away. And it won't be on till 10 pm. So you still have some waiting to do. I'm sorry I got your hopes up.
It sounds like NBC may not be done with a reboot of "The Munsters" series after all. Days after it was announced they would not be moving forward with Bryan Fuller's "Mockingbird Lane" the channels main man Bob Greenblatt came out saying they won't rule out do another show based on the series. He went on to say he likes the idea of a new show but "Mockingbird Lane" just didn't work. So kind of a big "it's not me it's you" to Fuller. He then returned all of Fuller's t-shirts that he had in his closet. And tore all the pictures of the two of them together in half. It was really ugly.
So "Texas Chainsaw 3D" brought the ruckas big time this weekend at the box office. The new sequel, retelling or whatever the hell you want to call it of Tobe Hooper's classic 1974 chainsaw romp took in $23 million this past weekend making it number 1, beating out "Django Unchained" and "The Hobbit" and pretty much guaranteeing we'll see sequel. Or a threequil. Or a prequel? I saw the flick and I honestly have no idea what to call it.
In Real People News:
If you're going to rob a store you might want to come up with a get away plan that doesn't involve calling your mom and asking for a ride. I mean you obviously set up a time for your mom to meet you. Moms are never late. Unless it's on a sitcom and you're getting out of soccer practice. That's just common knowledge.
Two California teen girls are under arrest after they drugged their parents milkshake so they could get onto the internet. I'm not saying I condone this but I understand. Sometimes you really just need to watch some porn.
To this day my best friend insists I had a crush on Ricky Schroeder when I was little. Apparently I would watch "Silver Spoons' and talk about how someday I want to live with Ricky and grow old together or something. I think it's bullcrap but that house on the show was pretty awesome so I've always kind of had my doubts.
Remember Haley Joel Osment? The little bugger who sees dead people and has a heart of gold? Well the all grown up rugrat is back in a new film titled "I'll Follow You Down" which tells the story of a son trying to uncover the mystery of where his scientist father disappeared to after a business trip. I assume Osment will still play a young boy because, much like Leonardo DiCaprio, no matter how old he gets he still looks 11. Ya just want to pinch his cheeks don't you?
Why the hell not, huh? Dreamworks has apparently hired Steven Knight to pen a script for their upcoming remake of the Alfred Hitchcock film "Rebecca". The original 1940 film tells the story of a bride who finds her and her new husband are being haunted by the ghost of his first wife. No word yet on is the remake will stay true to the original but if I was a betting man I'd say someone named Rebecca will be in the film.
If you're like any normal American then you're probably a giant fan of "The Adventures of Ford Fairlane". Look it up kids, that pizon was bigger than Jesus. Renny Harlin, the film's director, is off to Russia now for a new film that tell the tale of the real life mystery around 9 experienced hikers that were found dead in the mountains in 1959 and the not so real life crew that's exploring the mountains to uncover the secret of their deaths. The guy directed "Die Hard 2" also. Get excited.
It's a fact, Morgan Freeman is the greatest person who has ever lived. So Tom Cruise should be be skipping around in his tiny little size 6 shoes now that the great one has agreed to join the cast of "Oblivion", a new Sci-Fi flick that stars Tommy as a soldier banished to a far away deserted planet after his court-martial. No word on what role Freeman will be playing but I expect it'll be Jesus or whatever weird alien god they worship in the film.
James Wan and Leigh Whannell are the duo that brought you "Saw" and now they've got a trailer for a new film called "Insidious". It's a heartwarming tale of a kid that lives in a house that's having all kind of weird haunted type stuff going on in it. Here's the catch though, it's not the house that's haunted, it's the kid! Dun dun duuuuun!
Last week we talked about our feelings and the fact that there might be an Alfred Hitchcock biopic in the works. Well now we can chat again because there's rumors that Sir Anthony Hopkins is the front runner to play our favorite rollie pollie horror icon. We should also make childish comments about the name Hitchcock and giggle like girls.
"The Silent House" is a movie from Chris Kentis and Laura Lau, the peeps who brought you "Open Water" and today the film's got a clip up on the tubes. Doesn't look like too silent of a house to me! Get it? Cause of the title? It's a pun... or a play on words... or a poem. I don't know.
Is there a video game version of "The Walking Dead" in the works? The world may never know! Wait no, that's wrong. We'll know, we'll know on February 17th when game developers Telltale announce their new big game that's based on a "a just-launched property from the TV and comic book world whose popularity is changing life as some know it." It really could be anything!
In Real People News:
Finally someone has the guts to stand up to hookers who half ass their jobs! Hubert Blackman recently filed a lawsuit against a call girl service in Vegas after the girl he paid to have sex with ditched out on him after a half hour even though he paid for a full hour. Justice must be served!
Wait a second, there's a third Olsen twin?! Yes I know that doesn't make any sense but work with me here. Elizabeth Olsen stars in the new remake of "The Silent House", a movie I did not know existed let alone was being remade, but none of that matters now that we have a third Olsen twin. Rejoice!
There's a new "Scream 4" trailer! Get pumped people. The best part? I'm 99% sure it features the exact same clips that were in that Canadian trailer that made it's way to the tubes a few days back. Isn't that awesome?! Things I've seen before are fun to watch again!
Adrien Brody has been fighting to keep his film "Giallo", which is suppose to be a giant pile of doodie, from finding its way to DVD. Don't worry though the legal fun had nothing to do with the quality of the movie, Brody just wanted to make sure he was paid in full for his "acting skills". I like to use sarcasm quotes. Anyway the suit is settled and the flick will now find its way to DVD. Happy days!
Sacha Gervasi, the guy who made the kick ass documentary "Anvil! The Story of Anvil" is currently working on a new biopic of one Mr. Alfred Hitchcock. No the film will not be a documentary but I like to think that Gervasi isn't just a one trick pony. I for instance am good at both drinking beer and downloading illegal porn. Some people are just gifted.
In Real People News:
Fever, weakness, loss of initiative, headache, disordered speech, irritability, forgetfulness, frightening dreams and swollen lips and throat. These are all things a man know as Mr. A suffered from after he had an orgasm as he is actually allergic to them. Good news those, the big doctors think they've cured him! Not going to lie, I get 5 of these 9 things also and I thought it was normal. Try to guess which ones!
I have a real problem when I read the town name Tucson and I always think it's Tuscany. So when I read a restaurant in Tuscon is selling tacos made with lion meat I thought, "wow, those Italians are a bunch of sickos". Boy is my face red now!