Haley Joel Osment

Horror Headlines: Friday, February 10th, 2012

To this day my best friend insists I had a crush on Ricky Schroeder when I was little. Apparently I would watch "Silver Spoons' and talk about how someday I want to live with Ricky and grow old together or something. I think it's bullcrap but that house on the show was pretty awesome so I've always kind of had my doubts.

Remember Haley Joel Osment? The little bugger who sees dead people and has a heart of gold? Well the all grown up rugrat is back in a new film titled "I'll Follow You Down" which tells the story of a son trying to uncover the mystery of where his scientist father disappeared to after a business trip. I assume Osment will still play a young boy because, much like Leonardo DiCaprio, no matter how old he gets he still looks 11. Ya just want to pinch his cheeks don't you?

Why the hell not, huh? Dreamworks has apparently hired Steven Knight to pen a script for their upcoming remake of the Alfred Hitchcock film "Rebecca". The original 1940 film tells the story of a bride who finds her and her new husband are being haunted by the ghost of his first wife. No word yet on is the remake will stay true to the original but if I was a betting man I'd say someone named Rebecca will be in the film.

If you're like any normal American then you're probably a giant fan of "The Adventures of Ford Fairlane". Look it up kids, that pizon was bigger than Jesus. Renny Harlin, the film's director, is off to Russia now for a new film that tell the tale of the real life mystery around 9 experienced hikers that were found dead in the mountains in 1959 and the not so real life crew that's exploring the mountains to uncover the secret of their deaths. The guy directed "Die Hard 2" also. Get excited.

It's a fact, Morgan Freeman is the greatest person who has ever lived. So Tom Cruise should be be skipping around in his tiny little size 6 shoes now that the great one has agreed to join the cast of "Oblivion", a new Sci-Fi flick that stars Tommy as a soldier banished to a far away deserted planet after his court-martial. No word on what role Freeman will be playing but I expect it'll be Jesus or whatever weird alien god they worship in the film.

In Real People News: 

Purple Squirrel Found in Pennsylvania. I'll see you all in hell.

Now let me make it clear, I like rhinoceros'. They're so freakin giant and cool they could kill any of us. But when a anti-poaching demonstration in South Africa goes wrong and they accidentally kill one, you've got to chuckle a little.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday June 28th, 2011

Hey remember Haley Joel Osment? The little fella who could see dead people in "The Sixth Sense" and creeped his way into all of our hearts back in 1999? Well it looks like he's back in the horror genre with a starring role in the upcoming Frankenstein flick "Wake the Dead". The movie is based on a novel by Steve Niles and it appears Osment will play the mad doctor Victor Frankenstein. So I guess his character will see dead people. Get it? Cause ya know... the Frankenstein monster was dead or something... Comedic gold.

Speaking of 1999, another film called "The Blair Witch Project" came out that year also. Well Eduardo Sanchez, one half of the writing and directing team behind the Blair Witch, is heading back into the woods with his new film "Exists". The movie will follow a group of teenagers who find themselves trapped in a cabin in the middle of a forrest being attacked by a bigfoot like creature. There better be some close up shots of people's snot. You can't top the classics.

Jim Uhls, who adapted Chuck Palahniuk's book "Fight Club" for the big screen, and Trent Reznor are teaming up to create a new mini series for HBO based on the Nine Inch Nails album "Year Zero". The series will take place in the year 2022 and show a world run by a corrupt government. And needless to say I will be both bored and confused by the entire thing.

Lauren Cohan, who wasn't on "The Hills" apparently and Scott Wilson are the latest additions to the ever growing cast of the second season of "The Walking Dead". Wilson will play the owner of a farm that the traveling group ends up on and Cohen will play his daughter. I hope she doesn't end up with that jerk Brody Jenner. She can do so much better than him and he's only after one thing.

In Real People News: 

Little tip for the ladies out there. If the cops show up at your house because you've been beating the crap out of your boyfriend a sure fire way to get out of going to jail is not biting the arresting officer. Sounds obvious I know but a 30 year old woman in Ohio is under arrest for just that. And the kicker is now that she claims to be HIV positive. I bet she gets off with a warning.

And fellas this one is for you. If the cops show up because there's been complaints about loud arguments you might want to wait till after they leave before urinating on your significant other like this guy in South Carolina did. Or not doing it at all. I should say don't pee on your loved one at all, right? Yeah.. don't do it.

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