Rebecca

Horror Headlines: Monday March 25th, 2013

"Slide and Dice: The Slasher Film Forever" will officially be thrust out onto DVD this coming May 13. For those of you not in the know, or just confused by the title like I am, the film is a new documentary that focuses on the slasher genre and features interviews with more than 20 folks who have started in or made the films we all love. I assume of course you love "My Bloody Valentine 3D" because they got the guy who directed it. If you know his name you're going to freakin love this thing.

Chad Crawford Kinkle's much praised film "Jug Face" looks to be finding its way onto VOD for us here in the U.S. this coming July thanks to the folks over at Gravitas Ventures. The film follows a small town who worships a large pit that on occasion demands a sacrifice. Just replace the pit with my stomach and sacrifice with KFC and you've pretty much got my life story.

Alfred Hitchcock's classic film "Rebecca" is next on the list for the remake treatment and it looks like Nikolaj Arcel has been hand picked to direct and Steven Knight is set to pen the script. If you're smart you've probably seen some of their films before. If you're obnoxious you'll probably throw a hissy fit over them remaking a Hitchcock film.

Richard T. Jones, who I've apparently seen in a number of films although I can't remember him for the life of me, is the latest addition to the ever growing cast of the upcoming "Godzilla" reboot. Word is he'll be playing some sort of military solider who I assume will battle the giant monster. What were we talking about again? Man I love Easter candy.

In Real People News: 

What's sadder that being caught stealing $9,800 dollars from your daughter's girl scout troop? People finding out you spend all that money on a dating site for seniors that's what. See, we learned something today.

Here's a cute story about a Florida escort who is under arrest after she apparently tried to eat her client's penis. I assume no one asked the guy if he paid extra for that. Not that he'd admit to it even if they did. There's just no honesty left in the whoreing business.

Horror Headlines: Friday, February 10th, 2012

To this day my best friend insists I had a crush on Ricky Schroeder when I was little. Apparently I would watch "Silver Spoons' and talk about how someday I want to live with Ricky and grow old together or something. I think it's bullcrap but that house on the show was pretty awesome so I've always kind of had my doubts.

Remember Haley Joel Osment? The little bugger who sees dead people and has a heart of gold? Well the all grown up rugrat is back in a new film titled "I'll Follow You Down" which tells the story of a son trying to uncover the mystery of where his scientist father disappeared to after a business trip. I assume Osment will still play a young boy because, much like Leonardo DiCaprio, no matter how old he gets he still looks 11. Ya just want to pinch his cheeks don't you?

Why the hell not, huh? Dreamworks has apparently hired Steven Knight to pen a script for their upcoming remake of the Alfred Hitchcock film "Rebecca". The original 1940 film tells the story of a bride who finds her and her new husband are being haunted by the ghost of his first wife. No word yet on is the remake will stay true to the original but if I was a betting man I'd say someone named Rebecca will be in the film.

If you're like any normal American then you're probably a giant fan of "The Adventures of Ford Fairlane". Look it up kids, that pizon was bigger than Jesus. Renny Harlin, the film's director, is off to Russia now for a new film that tell the tale of the real life mystery around 9 experienced hikers that were found dead in the mountains in 1959 and the not so real life crew that's exploring the mountains to uncover the secret of their deaths. The guy directed "Die Hard 2" also. Get excited.

It's a fact, Morgan Freeman is the greatest person who has ever lived. So Tom Cruise should be be skipping around in his tiny little size 6 shoes now that the great one has agreed to join the cast of "Oblivion", a new Sci-Fi flick that stars Tommy as a soldier banished to a far away deserted planet after his court-martial. No word on what role Freeman will be playing but I expect it'll be Jesus or whatever weird alien god they worship in the film.

In Real People News: 

Purple Squirrel Found in Pennsylvania. I'll see you all in hell.

Now let me make it clear, I like rhinoceros'. They're so freakin giant and cool they could kill any of us. But when a anti-poaching demonstration in South Africa goes wrong and they accidentally kill one, you've got to chuckle a little.

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