lionsgate

The names keep being added to the upcoming murder cover up being advised by a talking cat and dog flick "The Voices". Next on the list of additions is Jacki Weaver, who I find strangely attractive even though she's just shy of 100 I think. No word on what role she'll be playing and honestly I don't know what my deal is with her. I don't understand what's going on with my downstairs half the time in all honesty.

The folks over at Lionsgate and Summit have picked up a new zombie comedy flick titled "You'll Be the Death Of Me". Produced by the same folks that brought you "Warm Bodies". Details are pretty loose but it sounds like it's about a couple falling in love in NYC while a killer's on the loose. So ya know, all kinds of yuk yuks to be had for your funny bone.

I'm still somewhat confused by what the hell was going on in "Pontypool" but the film's writer, Tony Burgess and leading man, Stephen McHattie have both signed up for "Hellmouth", a new film about a dark journey to find the mystery behind a local cemetery. John Geddes of "Exit Humanity" fame is set to direct.

John and Drew Dowdle, the fellas behind "Quarantine" have lined up "As Above, So Below" as their next project. The film is still being cast but is set to follow two archaeologists as they search the tunnels below Paris for treasure. I bet it smells like armpits down there.

The folks over at Lionsgate have picked up the US distribution rights to "Ritual", a new flick about a fella who finds his ex wife has murdered a stranger who happens to be connected to a dangerous cult. Semi-new director Mickey Keating leads this one and while there's no word on a release date the other territories will go up on the auction block next month at Cannes. I plan on picking up the rights to Guam. Gotta make that chedda.

Susan Surandon and Topher Grace would make the world's creepiest couple and the thought of them making love makes me throw up a little in my mouth but the good news here is that both of them have been confirmed for the cast of "The Calling" and not confirmed to be bumping uglies. The duo will play detectives who are on the hunt for a serial killer who's targeting the mentally ill. I bet their children would be adorable though. You can't argue that.

Sally Hawkins, who apparently is no relation to the smart guy in the wheelchair, is the latest name to be added to the cast of the upcoming "Godzilla" reboot. No word on what role she'll play but since she's British I assume she'll play a British doctor or maybe a British police officer. Or any of those roles without a British accent. Really I have no idea here.

"Pro-Wrestlers Vs. Zombies" is a real thing and the trailer looks a lot worse than you would expect. That's saying a lot I know.

The smarty pants folks at Universal have decided to push up the release date for "Oblivion" to April 23rd 2013 from it's original release date of July 10th. The movie stars Tom Cruise as soldier who's court marshaled and shipped off to a deserted planet only to find he isn't alone. I think I'd move to another planet too if I was promised I'd be alone with Tom Cruise. Not for the reason you're thinking, sicko! It's so I can have sex with him.

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is beating a dead vampire. I don't think that makes any sense. But my point here is that Alcon Entertainment has tapped Brian Dannelly to direct their new vampire comedy "Suckers". I'm not going to bother explaining the plot because you can probably guess it. but Dannelly has directed episodes of "Weeds", "The United States of Tara" and "Pushing Daisies" so it might not be too shabby. But I'm a glass half full kind of guy.

You tell me Danny Trejo, Anthony Michael Hall and Mickey Rourke are going to be in a movie and I listen my friends. The movie is called "Dead In Tombstone" and apparently Trejo comes back from the dead to bring the hammer down on his half brother after being double crossed in a mine robbery. This might be the most perfect movie ever made. Minus Mickey Rourke actually. That guy creeps the hell out of me.

People are going to throw a fit but honestly Lionsgate teaming up with WWE to remake "Leprechaun" might be amazing. There's no script, no cast, and no real other news but what the hell can go wrong. And while we're at it I think Jennifer Aniston is delightful. There, I said it.

"The Flying Conchords" is a really cool show on HBO but you've probably never heard of it. It's pretty underground. Even if you have seen it you probably don't GET the humor. It's pretty funny though. You probably don't know that Jemaine Clement is one half of the singing duo on the show either but there's word around the coffee bar that he's working on an as yet untitled vampire comedy script these days. Blah blah blah hipster.

If you liked "Gran Torino", and I did in case you're wondering, then you'll find the news that the films writer Nick Schenk has been hired to pen the script for the upcoming "Robocop" remake. I for one look forward to an older and more racist Robocop. Don't worry, he'll also have a heart of gold.

Admit it, you watch "Gossip Girl". Yeah you do you dirty sicko. You love it so much. I honestly have no idea what the show is even about so I'm stretching here to make some sort of stupid comment that makes sense. But it looks like the show's creators Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage are working with the CW on a new series called "Cult" about a girl who joins a blogger on a quest to find out if a group of rabid fans are recreating murders based on a popular TV show. It's kind of like when I had my Rachel bangs in the 90's but people die.

If you've been wondering what "Saw 3D: The Final Chapter" director Kevin Greutert is up to then there's something seriously wrong with you. But I'm here to help people and I'm not going to be a prick. He's working with Lionsgate on a new film titled "Jessabellem" about a girl who returns to her childhood home after she loses the use of her legs only to find a mystery surrounding her birth and an angry ghost haunting her house. Ya know, standard run of the mill girl problems.

"Automaton Transfusion" director Steven C. Miller talks about his entry for the new "After Dark Originals" line, "Scream of the Banshee". Starring Lauren Holly, the film is described as an old school monster movie and hopes to be the anchor to the new addition to the "After Dark 8 Films to Die For" family.

I'm sure you've been waiting for the return of the lesser known Duff sister Haley to the big screen. Worry no more as Haley Duff is in talks to star in the upcoming thriller "Cousin Sarah", a story of somebody's weird cousin moving to town where unexplained events start happening. Here's hoping her already signed co-star Jason Mewes lands the title roll of 'Cousin Sarah'.

The official plot details for Kevin Smith's upcoming "Red State" have appeared online and it looks passable! Centered around a Fred Phelps like evangelist, the movie hopes to show a new kind of 'extreme fundamentalism'.

Are you a big fan of Netflix and their handy streaming video service? Get ready to like it even more as the company has struck a deal with Paramount, Lionsgate and MGM Studios. Quite simply, there's going to be even more fun stuff to watch while wasting time at work!

After making some buzz at the recent Sundance Film Festival, the Ryan Reynolds claustrophobic thriller "Buried" was picked up by Lionsgate. In order to punch things up a bit, director Rodrigo Cortes has decided to shoot some additional footage to beef up the movie's external scenes before the planned limited theatrical release on September 4th.

If your non-horror interests include some good old fashioned sports drama like in the hit series "Friday Night Lights", your two worlds are about to collide in director Doug Sakmann's zombie fueled football feature "Play Dead". A football team resurrected to play one final game against their arch rivals who murdered them all? Sounds like a win!

Having been booted from the director's chair on the upcoming "Saw VII 3D", director David Hackyl wasn't sure what he was going to do next. That is, until he signed on for the big screen adaptation of Vince Churchill's "The Butcher Bride". Don't worry David, a Carrie-esque ghost story sounds more entertaining than "Saw VII 3D" any ways!

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