buried

Red Lights (REVIEW)

Unlike many sci-fi or horror films that require huge leaps of faith or suspensions of disbelief, perhaps the only thing that "Red Lights," the new film from Rodrigo Cortes ("Buried"), asks of the audience is that they presuppose "The X-Files" never existed. Mulder and Scully famously made skepticism cool as they toured around the world investigating paranormal events.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday May 11th, 2011

Two difference between "Buried" and the new movie "Coffin". First, "Coffin" doesn't take place entirely in a box like "Buried". Second, and probably most importantly, only "Coffin" has Kevin "Mutha F'in Hercules" Sorbo. Get some! You can see Sorbo and all the not entirely shot in a box goodness in the new trailer that's recently hit the tubes.

If you read Eric's review of "Bonnie & Clyde vs. Dracula" on this very site almost 3 years ago and have been hoping and waiting for the movie to hit DVD than your long wait is finally over. Get pumped! What are you going to do with all your free time now that you're done waiting? Maybe learn sign language or something. Do something with your life!

Aaron Eckhart, Sean Bean and Anna Sophia Robb have all signed on to "Pan", a new dark take on the classic tale of "Peter Pan". For those of you hoping to see Eckhart's man bits stuffed inside some green tights I'm sorry to tell you he'll play Hook in the film, no word yet on who will play Pan. If you want though maybe try to contact Eckhart and see if he'll wear tights for you anyway. I don't know, he seems like a nice guy.

Ethan Hawke is the latest name to be attached to the "Total Recall" remake but don't get too excited because word around campus is he'll only be making a cameo in the film. What that means I have no idea because how do you make a cameo in a remake of a movie you weren't originally in? Am I missing something? Was he Quato? Is he going to be Quato? If not can I be Quato? Quato Quato!

In Real People News: 

A 20 year old Pittsburgh student was shot and killed recently while trying to trade his iPad for drugs, heroin to be exact. Was it because he tried to trade it for the white one? No one wants the white one, especially not some hard core guys with some primo smack. That's just common knowledge.

I like to think she was trying to recreate that awesome scene from "Return of the Living Dead" but my guess is this Arizona woman was just all drugged up when she was arrested in a cemetery while dancing naked. Of course in the movie the girl ends up getting eaten by zombies so I guess in the long run just getting arrested is no so bad.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday March 1st, 2011

I could have sworn this already happened but apparently "Screen Gems" has acquired the rights to the big screen adaptation to the much loved video game "Devil May Cry". For those of your not familiar with the games there's a guy named Dante, a giant sword and some demons. That about covers it I think. Wait, no! There's a gun too.

Chris Sparling wrote "Buried", the best Ryan Reynolds trapped in a box movie of 2010, and now he's stepping behind the camera with a little ditty titled "Falling Slow". The film will focus on a couple, played by Mandy Moore and Rodrigo Santoro, who move into a haunted apartment. If I was a betting man I'd say any movie with someone named Rodrigo in a starring roll is going to be 100% caliente.

Tobe Hooper, who I believe created a low budget rip off of that chainsaw flick that came out a few years back, has been confirmed to direct a new supernatural thriller titled "Djinn". Djinn is apparently some sort of Arabian demon and I guess in this movie that demon does some nasty crap to a couple's apartment after they return from their trip to the US. I'm not positive but it sounds like this movie might not be patriotic.

What's more prestigious than making a crappy Syfy flick? Making the 200th crappiest Syfy flick of all time! Well the new After Dark opus "Scream of the Banshee" will have the honor on March 26th. That's all really need to know but if you're looking for plot just think banshee scream, then you die. That about covers it.

In Real People News: 

Nothing worse for a teenager then having your mother catch you trying to hide the girl you were just getting busy with in the closet. Especially if that woman happens to be a 40 year old who may or may not have a serious addiction to crack. I didn't read anything about the crack but from the picture I'm just guessing.

Nothing like some good old fashion competition between two local pizza shops. Of course it may be going to far when one owner dumps a crap load of mice into the other owner's shopb but still, all is fare in a pizza war. There's books written on the rules somewhere.

Buried (REVIEW)

Ryan Reynolds in Buried

It seems prudent to get this out of the way up front: no, the film's trailers and title are not misleading. The entire 90 minutes of Rodrigo Cortes's "Buried" does indeed take place in a coffin containing Ryan Reynolds, who plays an American contractor in Iraq. He has been kidnapped and buried alive for ransom.

Whew! That feels better.

"Buried's" very essence is a gimmick, and there really isn't any reason to beat around the bush -- if the gimmick works for you, the film is going to be a win. If it doesn't, you're not likely to be won over.

Box Office: A Case for Buried?

Horror fans got a one week reprieve from shelling out dough at the box office this week. That is unless you live near one of the 11 theaters that screened the Ryan Reynolds Iraq War flick "Buried," which Lionsgate rolled out to a select number of theaters on Friday. The advance word is that a full release is possible in a couple of weeks. Now, with all due warnings about ridiculously small sample size out of the way, let's look at some precedence for how things might play out for "Buried."

Horror Headlines: Friday August 20th, 2010

A new super hot super spooky poster for the upcoming Ryan Reynolds flick "Buried" has been released. Most of the quotes are cut off in the poster but I assume somewhere in there is "Please bring back Two guys, a girl and a Pizza Place"

The screenwriters behind "Ed Wood" have signed on to write the upcoming Tim Burton stop motion animated "The Adams Family" film. I was pretty excited about this and then I saw they also wrote "Problem Child 2" and "Agent Cody Banks". After that I got super excited!

"Hellraiser: Revelations" is confirmed to start filming next month and will in fact not be a remake of the original classic, which is apparently still on the table. This one will be a small budget continuation of the Hellraiser franchise and will most likely go direct to video. Small budget meaning they can only afford four nails for Pinhead's face. Hey, time are tough for everyone.

Emily Montague from "Melrose Place" has been added to the cast of the upcoming "Fright Night" remake. Don't get too excited though, she'll apparently play a victim of our head vamp so I'm guessing her screen time will total about 5 minutes. I have no idea why you would have been excited anyway... you watch "Melrose Place"?

In Real People News: 

A bull went batshit insane recently at a bullfight in Spain and leaped into the crowd. The best part? There's a freakin video of it! Of course now that I think about it, maybe leaping into the crowd at an event where the entire focus is on you being stabbed to death isn't that nuts.

On this day in history: 

1998 - Retaliating for deadly embassy bombings in East Africa, the United States launched cruise missile strikes against al-Qaida training camps in Afghanistan and what was described as a chemical plant in Sudan.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday May 26th, 2010

Universal Pictures "The Thing" prequel has gained some muscle as Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje signs on to the cast. You may know Mr. Akinnuoye-Agbaje as Mr. Eko from ABC's "Lost" or as Simon Abedisi in HBO's "Oz".

"Buried" director Rodrigo Cortes is starting to turn Hollywood heads despite the fact that his first film hasn't even been released yet. Signing on for his next project, the director will be tackling "Red Lights", a paranormal thriller involving the human brain. He continues to draw the star power as well with Sigourney Weaver signed on to star.

Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, the film makers responsible for the likes of "Date Movie" and "Epic Movie" are aiming their sights on "Twilight" for their next sendup. Could this be the first of their movies that people actually flock to see?

In case you were one of the three people looking forward to CBS Film's "Beastly" this July, I have bad news for you; the darker rendition of "Beauty and the Beast" has been bumped from its July 30th release date.

In Real People News: 

An Italian teacher decided he had had enough of students wearing their low slung jeans to school so he took it upon himself to show them how ridiculous it looked. For some reason, he decided thatdropping his pants in front of his class would be the best way to do it.

Those crazy teens are at it again as they've invented a new way to get trashed. Called 'eyeballing', the kids have taken to speeding up their intoxication by pouring vodka into their eyes and letting the alcohol be absorbed.

On this day in history: 

1897 - The first copies of the classic vampire novel Dracula, by Irish writer Bram Stoker, appear in London bookshops on this day in 1897.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday April 20th, 2010

After making some buzz at the recent Sundance Film Festival, the Ryan Reynolds claustrophobic thriller "Buried" was picked up by Lionsgate. In order to punch things up a bit, director Rodrigo Cortes has decided to shoot some additional footage to beef up the movie's external scenes before the planned limited theatrical release on September 4th.

If your non-horror interests include some good old fashioned sports drama like in the hit series "Friday Night Lights", your two worlds are about to collide in director Doug Sakmann's zombie fueled football feature "Play Dead". A football team resurrected to play one final game against their arch rivals who murdered them all? Sounds like a win!

Having been booted from the director's chair on the upcoming "Saw VII 3D", director David Hackyl wasn't sure what he was going to do next. That is, until he signed on for the big screen adaptation of Vince Churchill's "The Butcher Bride". Don't worry David, a Carrie-esque ghost story sounds more entertaining than "Saw VII 3D" any ways!

In Real People News: 

German priests are struggling to keep their pious image as a new woman comes forward with news that she has been taking hush money for years for her child, fathered by a German priest. The news brings forth evidence that there are many children across the country that have been fathered by various priests.

The Bellevue, OH police department goes the extra mile to catch their crooks. After suspecting a local of flushing his stash of cocaine down the toilet of their trailer, the task force did the only thing they could; they opened the trailer's septic tank and went fishing for the flushed drugs.

On this day in history: 

1889 - In Braunau, Austria, Klara Hitler gives birth to a bouncing baby boy named Adolf.

Horror Headlines: Thursday March 11th, 2010

Lionsgate has announced that the upcoming Ryan Reynolds thriller "Buried" will hit North American theaters on September 24th. Seeing how they'll stretch this very thin premise into a feature-length film will be interesting if nothing else

Does anybody really watch these Suicide Girls DVDs? If so, I guess you're in the luck. Two new discs featuring a bevy of these horror-tinged beauties will hit retail shelves on March 16th. Make sure your insurance policy covers Carpal Tunnel Syndrome beforehand.

In Real People News: 

If a pair of women express interest after you've won a ton of money at the MGM Grand, there's a strong possibility they're going to rob you at gunpoint once you've taken your clothes off. That's what you get when you let your crotch win.

Reports are swirling around the downtown Lexington, Ky area that an extremely creepy guy riding a white bicycle has been peeping at residents over the past few weeks. If anyone is interested in crafting a sequel to "The Strangers", here's your inspiration. Creepy!

On this day in history: 

669 - Mount Etna, one of the largest volcanos in Europe, suddenly erupts, killing over 20,000 people in the process.

Horror at Sundance: "Buried"

The Sundance Film Festival has fully embraced genre film and some of the biggest and best releases of the next year are screening right now in Park City. Over the next few days we'll take a first look at the movies we'll be talking about in a few months.

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