after dark originals

Let’s take a trip down memory lane. It was the year 2000 and I had just celebrated my fourteenth birthday. I was an awkward nerd starting my Freshman year of High School and thanks to the crippling amount of stress that comes with being a socially awkward dork in a High School filled with jocks and preps, often found myself unable to sleep at night. In my quest to find something worth watching on TV at that hour, I stumbled across a ton of awful television.

About a half hour into this film I was beginning to wonder if I had put the wrong movie into my DVD player. I could swear that the DVD box said “Husk”, yet I was pretty sure that I was watching the “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” remake. There was the group of teenagers on a road trip whose car broke down, the creepy dilapidated old house surrounded by the old cars of previous victims, the psycho killer making a mask while hunched over a sowing machine and lot’s of chases through fields at night. Only I didn’t remember there being so much corn or crows in the “TCM” remake and R.

Films based upon original ideas are pretty hard to come across today. Look at any theater marquee on the street and I can guarantee that you’ll see three things; remakes of classic films from decades past (do we really need another “Conan the Barbarian”?), films that shamelessly steal ideas from far superior films (case in point: “The Roommate”) and an endless slew of uninspired sequels (there’s a fourth “Scream” movie now?).

For those of you who have been anxiously awaiting a remake of "The Gate" there's good news and bad news. The good news is they've gone into pre-production so there is in fact going to be a movie. The bad news is there won't be any filming in the near future because apparently all the 3D magic going into the production is going to take a long ass time to set up. It's called ying and yang folks, Google it.

"Choose" is a new indie horror flick that apparently opens with a girl having to decide which parent a slasher kills. The new trailer is up on the tubes and looks pretty awesome I must say. Unfortunately there's no US release date yet for us while the UK already has this one sitting on their DVD shelves. But fear not, I think they still love techno music over there so everything kind of evens out.

What the hell After Dark Originals?! I get all excited about your films and then I found out tha "Husk" will be hitting the airwaves this weekend on Syfy. You can't show nudity on Syfy, you can't show guts flying on Syfy and you sure as hell can't have a good movie on Syfy. Except the ones with Debbie Gibson in them, those things are freakin gold.

I don't care if you think Joaquin Phoenix is a jackass that man has got talent. And not the sarcastic type I usually make, the guy is an awesome actor and now he's supposedly the front runner to play our former president in the big screen version of "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter". Seriously, did you see "We Own the Night"? I will fight you!

If your car breaks down and you agree to getting a lift from a strange guy as long as you ride in the trailer for his big rig then you deserve every awful thing that is coming your way. In the case of "Prowl", the latest release form the After Dark Originals series that awful thing is being left in a warehouse full of flesh eating monsters.

The world sits and waits for what I assume will be the academy award winning film "Drive Angry" to be released in late February. To tide us over the makers have put out a dandy motion poster which you can print out and hang on your wall. Of course then it won't be in motion anymore but you can still fawn over Nic Cage in the privacy of your own bedroom. Sicko.

Hammer Films is at it again with "Wake Wood", a happy go lucky little tale about a couple who loses their only child in a dog attack and move to a small town where a pagan ritual gives them three more days with their daughter. A bunch of new photos have hit the net for your viewing pleasure and if you like you can email me and I'll send you some photos of myself that I've titled "Wake Wood" also.

I didn't even realize they were making a sequel to "Laid to Rest" but here we are kids with a trailer. "ChromeSkull: Laid to Rest 2" should please fans of the first, I think. honestly I haven't met any fans of the first. Come to think of it I don't think I'm met anyone's who saw the first. Come to think of it I forgot to put on pants today!

Diana Terranova, who you probably remember as Stripper #2 from every movie that's taken place in Vegas in the past five years has landed a role in the upcoming flick "Piranhaconda". If you can't guess from the name the movie is about a half anaconda half piranha that is 125% awesome.

I've seen a handful of trailers and countless images from "Sucker Punch" and I still don't have a clue what the movie is about. By no means does this mean I don't want to see it though, it looks awesome my friends. Here's a gang load of new posters to prove my point. They're full of prison girl comic book goodness, which is hot to nerds and deviants so kudos to the makers.

"Fertile Ground" is the next After Dark Originals film to see a trailer and much to my surprise it has nothing to do with gardening. It does have a lot to do with a couple who move to a house in New Hampshire only to find it is chock full of spooky happenings. Silver lining, New Hampshire is absolutely fabulous in both the summer and fall seasons.

Looks like the "Evil Dead" remake is still very much alive with Sam Raimi and Robert Tapert apparently looking at a script this very month. I have no idea if this is good or bad news at this point so let's talk about Rami's movie "For Love of the Game". Wasn't so bad, right, for a romantic comedy? Kelly Preston is always delightful but man I can't remember the last Kevin Costner movie I've seen.

Good news kids! The real Godzilla might be making a come back in late 2012. Word on campus is along with the American reboot that currently planned the good people at Toho are also in the works for a brand new rubber suit version. Merry Christmas honey, hope you like an hour and a half of pure misery!

Yesterday we saw "Husk" from the After Dark Originals series and today we see "The Task" and as much as it pains me to not hate two movies in a row I have to say I'm a sucker for stupid kids trapped in a building. Yes it's a blatant rip off of that crappy MTV show that use to be on but at least in this one people die. People die and there's a creepy ass clown that isn't Carson Daly! People get that reference, right?

The only two things I understood about the trailer for the South Korean film "The Housemaid" was the ridiculous amount of sex a married guy has with his maid and the AT&T ad that ran before the trailer started. From the quotes in the trailer though this will apparently be the greatest movie ever invented. Well that and AT&T really does have the best nationwide coverage around, hands down.

Tori Black is a porn star and she's got some sort of horror movie coming out called "Half Moon" where she plays a prostitute who's hard up for cash, AKA a bad prostitute. But honestly you probably clicked on the link once you saw the words porn star so you're not even reading this anymore so I could really say anything. Anyway there's new cover art for the film and I sob like a baby every time I watch "Rudy".