battle: los angeles

Horror Headlines: Tuesday March 15th, 2011

I've never hidden my love for Norway. I've never been there but I assume it's mostly made up of Vikings and Black Metal fans running around in corpse paint. Well here's the trailer for the new zombie flick "Dark Souls" which is from the land of of the burning storm and it includes neither off these things but still looks pretty bad ass. And if you're wondering yes I did make up "land of the burning storm" and yes I will sue anyone who uses it.

With "Battle: Los Angeles" in the books producer Neal Moritz has his eye on a new film titled "Agent Ox". Nothing is finalized but apparently the script revolves around an spy who's sent to an alien world where he must top stop their invasion on Earth. After that he's going to do a movie about the aftermath of an alien invasion on earth and the trilogy will be complete!

Michelle Rodriguez looks to have signed up to join the cast of "The Home", a new film about a man who's put into a nursing home where all is not right after he is almost killed during a terrible accident. Not sure yet of what her role will be but if I was a betting man I'd guess angry girl with a heart of gold and just a touch of spiciness.

Shane Abbess will direct a new sci-fi mind f'er titled "7th Day" about a group that's sent into space to start a colony. The production company is calling this "The Shining" in outer space which is weird because I think Jack Nicholson is way too old to join the space program. I guess that's why they invented CGI though. "Here's johnny! In space!" Trademark, Joe.

In Real People News: 

Timothy Fattig is apparently a horror film maker but I can't find one damn movie he's worked on. I did find a story about the Arizona native being arrested after the decomposing body of his mother was found in his house though. So they might make a movie out of that. I know, I'm a glass half full kind of guy.

The recession is not over apparently because people are still being fired from their jobs and then showing up at the home of coworkers to stab them with a giant meat clever. Or maybe this is just a one time thing for a 24 year old in Arizona. I'd like to call it a trend though, those are fun. Like Nu-Metal!

Horror Headlines: Tuesday March 8th, 2011

There are few things in the world that pain me more than to say the new trailer for Kevin Smith's "Red State" looks really good. I had to go to Smith's twitter account and read him talking about how much he loves being "indie" and eating ham sandwiches just to get back into the right state of mind.

As a youngin there's few movies I loved more then the original "The Amityville Horror". Mostly because it was suppose to be based on a true story and anytime a kid hears that a house bleeds they get excited. Well now there's a new documentary titled "My Amityville Horror" that focuses on the real life events that inspired the original book and movie, from the perspective of the Lutz's children. Tickle me excited.

Hoarders are so hot right now so it stands to reason that Tom Petty's daughter would make a horror movie about them. There's a sentence I never thought I'd write. The film being directed by Adria Petty is called "Suffocate" and focuses on a group of city workers who enter the house of a hoarder to find it full of booby traps and copies of "Full Moon Fever". The second part might be a lie but I'd be willing to be a good hoarder has at least one or two copies floating around.

In a recent interview Aaron Eckhart stated that "Battle: Los Angeles" is "the most badass f***ing alien movie you’ve ever seen in your life." I see no way that this kind of thing could ever come back to bite him in the ass. From the trailers alone I can say this movie is going to be 10 times more "badass" thsn films like "Alien" and "Predator". Put it in the books people!

In Real People News: 

A 46 year old women in Naples Florida was taken into custody this past Saturday after she was throwing rocks at people and removing her teeth so she could throw them into the water. Oh, she was naked too... But you could've probably guessed that. Doing that kind of thing fully clothed would have just been weird.

What we do when we're drunk is really only limited by our imagination. Me, I usually go for White Castle and play video games. Others, like this guy in Virgina have access to a fire truck so he took the bull by the horns and had a joy ride with the giant truck at 2 am. My guess is this happens a lot in areas where there's no White Castles.

Horror Headlines: Friday March 4th, 2011

We're just a week away from the release of "Battle: Los Angeles" and to keep the excitement rolling we've got a new clip for your viewing pleasure. In the clip some of America's finest square off with some "aliens" in the sewers. I put the aliens in quotes because honestly I'm not sure if they're little green men or those Cirque du Soleil weirdos. Either way I agree they must be destroyed.

Despite there not being a cast or director it's been announced that the next installment in the "Resident Evil" franchise will be released on September 14, 2012. Word has it this time we might be looking at a prequel which might mean no Milla Jovovich. Or maybe a CGI version of her... without mom hips... There, I said it.

In other movies that are so far off it seems kind of ridiculous "Mad Max: Fury Road", the fourth installment in the Mad Max series, is officially set to begin filming next January in Australia. Of course the long delay is due to trouble with weather conditions so you can't really stomp your feet and suck your thumb on this one. But I bet you will, you big baby.

I know I'm being stupid here but I'm still super excited about the "Conan the Barbarian" reboot coming out and this new motion poster has got me fired up. Even if it is in 3D and even if it's Sans-Arnold and there's not a Grace Slick in sight. Even if it's directed by the same guy who made the "Friday the 13th" reboot and even if it does star a guy who looks like he should be seducing unsuspecting daughters at crappy resorts in the Bahamas. Even with all those things folks, this movie is going to be awesome.

In Real People News: 

Let this be a lesson to you ladies. When your man is high on meth and he wants to leave, not even jumping on the hood of the car is going to stop him. Because any meth head worth his salt is going to do what this guy in California did and speed away anyway. And by speed away I mean drive for 30 miles on the highway at speeds up to 100 mph. This would sound like some sort of 80's slapstick comedy if it wasn't for the meth and all.

An Illinois man wrecked his car after he passed out behind the wheel while driving home from having his tongue pierced. I don't know if the accident is really that weird a story but I had no idea people still get their tongues pierced. Was he getting ready for the big Marilyn Manson show? I hope he didn't mess up his Farfrompuken shirt.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday February 23rd, 2011

A boat load of new clips and interviews have popped up on the tubes for the upcoming flick "The Mortician 3D" starring the one and only Method Man as a Mortician. Because when you're putting together a cast you want to get some or all of the Wu-Tang Clan. Puffy is good, but Wu-Tang is better, Wu-Tang is for the children. If you get the reference you're my new best friend.

DJ Caruso, who directed "Eagle Eye", "Disturbia" and "The Salton Sea" has officially signed up to directed "Preacher", a big screen adaptation of the one graphic novel I've read in my lifetime. This of course means it's my favorite graphic novel of all time so I'm super pumped about this. Yeah pictures!

If you're unfortunate enough to have seen "Knightriders" then you probably can't see Tom Savini without having awful flashbacks of him in a Speedo. Well get ready to have a seizure because there's a new documentary coming out focusing on the hairy F/X one titled "Smoke and Mirrors". To get the flash backs going the doc has a new trailer up on the nets, welcome to hell my friends.

Here's a new clip from "Battle: Los Angeles" which reiterated a point I've been making for years. Never trust dogs, ever. Or any animal really. I've got a pet turtle and I would shoot that thing in the face the second I think it's turning on me. You hear me Boxy?! You're nothing!

In Real People News: 

An 11 year old in Colorado recently had the cops come to his house and slap him with a third degree misdemeanor after merely doodling some stick figures in school. Of course one stick figure, labeled "me", was holding a gun and shooting at a bunch of other stick figures with the words "Teacher Must Die" above it. So that's sweet.

Here's a fun one from Latvia. A 27 year old man has been arrested for shooting another man in a movie theater because he was apparently eating popcorn too loudly while watching "Black Swan". So I guess you can indirectly say Natalie Portman caused this entire thing. So you heard it here first, Natalie Portman is a murderer and must be stopped!

Horror Headlines: Thursday January 27th, 2011

Some new behind the scenes photos for "Battle: Los Angeles" have hit the net and they're full of alien goodness. I haven't seen the movie yet but if all the aliens want is one city then maybe we should just let them have it. The place has lost all its appeal since 2Pac died anyway. Or did he!?

According to director Matt Reeves the story for "Cloverfield 2" hasn't even been discussed and the film may never happen. I know I had trouble getting out of bed today too just knowing this! Let me help though, annoying guy runs around with camera while his friends jump around some the city avoiding giant aliens. Let's light this candle!

The newest name to be tossed around Ron Howard and Stephen King's "The Dark Tower" film is Christian Bale. Of course he's being rumored as their first choice so take that for what it is. My first choice for my bus driver tomorrow is Jackie Gleason but he's been dead for 20 years so it's probably not going to happen.

Director David O. Russell recently dropped knowledge on why he decided to drop out as director of the upcoming big screen version of "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". Apparently the studio only wanted to put about 25 million into the budget and Russell was hoping for almost double that. When you think about the fact that they spent 75 million to make "Monkeybone" you start to think David might have a point.

In Real People News: 

When you send a friend request to a man your friend likes, even being family won't save you. Case in point this women from Upstate NY who ran over her cousin not once, but twice after she had the nerve to do just that. If I was him I'd be flattered.

A mother in California has been arrested after her pre-teen kids became sick after eating cookies she had made laced with pot. Apparently no charges are being brought up on the kids for ganging her stash, I'll never understand the legal system.

Horror Headlines: Monday December 6th, 2010

"Battle: Los Angeles" is my favorite Rage Against the Machine album that I never actually heard and they've finally made a movie about it. What's better? There's a new trailer for the alien invasion flick. What that has to do with the album I have no idea but I assume it's some sort of weird political thing I don't get.

The MPAA has taken it upon themselves to ban the poster for the upcoming Stevan Mena movie "Bereavement". The poster depicts a child walking with his father while holding a butcher knife. Apparently the MPAA isn't a fan of toddlers walking around with murder weapons. I don't get it.

Aaron Echhart has officially confirmed the heartbreaking news that Two-Face will not being appearing in "The Dark Knight Rises". And when I say heartbreaking I really mean to Eckhart because last week it was confirmed that Heath Ledger would be making an appearance as The Joker and he's dead. Got to be a blow to the old ego.

Finally! "Beastly" is back in the spotlight with a new trailer and a big thumbs up from me. For those of you not familiar with the film all you need to know is that it stars Vanessa Hudgens, Alex Pettyfer, Mary-Kate Olsen, Neil Patrick Harris and Peter Krause. The movie was delayed months ago for being so awesome that the studio worried that people's heads would explode from excitement if it was released in the summer months.

In Real People News: 

"Jenkem" is a hallucinogenic drug made from the gas of fermented sewage... and one man making it in a Florida apartment got his entire building condemned from the smell. Apparently he had his entire apartment covered with human waste to the point that it was starting to drip into the apartment below. I just threw up in my mouth thinking about it.

Tis the season in Idaho, kids. We're all drinking egg nog, the kids are out sledding and the white supremacists are out making KKK snowmen. It really warms your heart.

Snapshot: "Battle: Los Angeles" (2011)

Aaron Eckhart butches it up in Jonathan Liebesman's "Battle: Los Angeles", currently set for a February 2011 release. The film centers on a marine platoon which is charged with taking on an alien invasion in Los Angeles, and also stars Michelle Rodriguez and Bridget Moynahan. Liebesman's previous genre credits include "Darkness Falls" (2003) and "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning" (2006).

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