pride and prejudice and zombies

Horror Headlines: Friday June 24th, 2011

Emma Stone has reportedly been offered the leading role in Grahame-Smith's constantly changing "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". Natalie Portman, who is now a producer on the film had at one time been rumored for the role along with Anne Hathaway and a number of other actresses. So keep your fingers crossed that Stone turns it down. I've heard rumors my name is rapidly moving to the top of the list for this.

Riki Lindhome, who has an IMDB page that leads me to believe she's been on one episode of 75% of the TV shows that have been made in the last 5 years, is the latest name to be added to the growing cast of the Halloween night comedy "Fun Size". The film which follows a pissy teenage girl as she tries to find her missing brother on Halloween night before their mother finds out also includes the comedic stylings of Johnny Knoxville, Jane Levy, Ana Gasteyer and Chelsea Handler. Because nothing's funnier than a good ole' missing child story.

If you liked "Strippers VS Zombies" then you're going to have lukewarm feelings about the new poster for "Strippers VS Werewolves". The movie, which Robert Englund is already attached to, focuses on a group of strippers that find their places of business being invaded by an angry pack of werewolves. Pray Englund isn't one of the strippers, pray a lot.

Speaking of Robert Englund... 2007's "Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer" was a comedic romp filled with over the top blood and guts. But from the looks of the new trailer for "The Shrine" it appears the makers have lost their funny bone and replaced it with some sort of creepy spooky bone. I think that's medically accurate. The movie follows a group of campers as they venture into a small Polish village that turns out to practice a strange human sacrifice ritual. I assume this is what happens to anyone who is stupid enough to leave their couch and go wondering off into strange Polish villages.

In Real People News: 

An Ohio couple is under arrested after they reportable bound a 3 year old girl with duct tape and insulted her, all while filming the entire thing. The reason they did this? Because they got boozed up and thought it would be fun of course. In their defense, it does sound kind of fun.

Here's a Pennsylvania man named Handy Wood who is under arrested for exposing himself to a woman while driving around a local mall parking lot in his mini van. Just to recap, Mr. Handy Wood pulled out his man bits and showed some random women. Make your own jokes for this one.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday April 19th, 2011

James Franco and Winona Ryder have signed on to star in "The Stare". In the flick Ryder will take on the role of a playwright who decide if the world is out to get her or if she's just cracking under the pressure of completing her next project. Franco will of course play a lovable stoner. Alright I don't know if that second part is true but come on, you have to assume that's what he'll be doing even if that really isn't his role.

I do believe I just found the topic for our next open week in the Podcast schedule. Rob Zombie has wrapped on a shoot in Vancouver for a commercial titled "The Torturer" for the laundry detergent brand Woolite. Weird to see a horror director taking on a commercial yes but throw in the fact that Zombie looks like a homeless man and the fact that it's for laundry detergent is enough to make blood run out of your nose. I'm sorry for doing that to you.

"Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" finally has a director my friends and it's none other than Craig Gillespie who is currently working on the "Fright Night" remake. He also directed "Mr. Woodcock" which wasn't a very good movie but it made me giggle every time I heard the name Woodcock so that's got to count for something. Teehee... Woodcock.

"Let Me In" director Matt Reeves has decided to return to the vampire genre by signing on to direct "The Passage". Based on a book by Justin Cronin the story focuses on a group of terminally ill patients who find they can be saved by being bitten by a rare bat. But wait! There's some nasty side effects. Here's a hint, they kill people.

In Real People News: 

If you're a 48 year old man from Florida being accused of child abuse there's not many excuses you can use to get out of the charges. Of course you could always try the excuse that the kids are just jealous of your roller skating abilities and making the whole thing up. That won't work either but man it's pretty funny.

Wait this is illegal? Two Texas High School students are facing charges after decapitating baby chickens in the hopes of breaking their baseball teams losing streak. I originally wrote that they decapitated a bunch of chick's heads but that sounds a lot worse if you read it wrong. Or a lot better if you have trouble getting dates. I don't judge.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday March 22nd, 2011

Matt Reeves has confirmed that "Cloverfield 2" will 100% happen and that J.J. Abrams is for sure involved. Good news if you liked the first. Of course he has absolutely no idea when the film is going to happen so it's most likely going to be a while. Which is good news if you hated the first.

Seth Grahame-Smith may be given the opportunity to co-direct the big screen version of his book "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" along with David Katzenberg. I will go on record as saying that 100% of movies directed by the author of the book it was based on have been awesome. Keep in mind the only one I can think of is "Maximum Overdrive" though.

In "hey I bet we can get these horror geeks to pay for anything" news the good people Shriek Show will bring the cult classic "Zombie Holocaust" to Blu-Day on April 19th. No confirmation on the extras but I assume there's a 5 minute video of the president of Shriek Show laughing hysterically because you paid 30 bucks for a movie that still looks like it was recorded on your parent's VHS camera.

"Wood Wake" director David Keating has tossed his hat in the ring to direct the Hammer Films remake of 1942 classic "Cat People". How do we close the door on this one? Do you need my approval? You can consider this my official approval. You're welcome, Keating.

In Real People News: 

A Texas man recently went bat shit insane when he was informed that his Beefy Crunch Burritos at Taco Bell were going to cost him $1.50 rather than .99 cents. He was so upset by this that he shot a BB gun into the drive-in window and then held up in a local motel for 4 hours while police tried to arrest him. Not saying I'd do the same but when I found out they got rid of the Chili Cheese Burrito I almost burned that mother down.

A 40 year old ice cream truck operator is being brought up on charges after he was caught selling prescription drugs out of his truck. I'm pretty sure this was in the movie "Friday". Was it Big Worm? Did they arrest Big Worm? That guy seemed like a jerk.

Horror Headlines: Thursday January 27th, 2011

Some new behind the scenes photos for "Battle: Los Angeles" have hit the net and they're full of alien goodness. I haven't seen the movie yet but if all the aliens want is one city then maybe we should just let them have it. The place has lost all its appeal since 2Pac died anyway. Or did he!?

According to director Matt Reeves the story for "Cloverfield 2" hasn't even been discussed and the film may never happen. I know I had trouble getting out of bed today too just knowing this! Let me help though, annoying guy runs around with camera while his friends jump around some the city avoiding giant aliens. Let's light this candle!

The newest name to be tossed around Ron Howard and Stephen King's "The Dark Tower" film is Christian Bale. Of course he's being rumored as their first choice so take that for what it is. My first choice for my bus driver tomorrow is Jackie Gleason but he's been dead for 20 years so it's probably not going to happen.

Director David O. Russell recently dropped knowledge on why he decided to drop out as director of the upcoming big screen version of "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". Apparently the studio only wanted to put about 25 million into the budget and Russell was hoping for almost double that. When you think about the fact that they spent 75 million to make "Monkeybone" you start to think David might have a point.

In Real People News: 

When you send a friend request to a man your friend likes, even being family won't save you. Case in point this women from Upstate NY who ran over her cousin not once, but twice after she had the nerve to do just that. If I was him I'd be flattered.

A mother in California has been arrested after her pre-teen kids became sick after eating cookies she had made laced with pot. Apparently no charges are being brought up on the kids for ganging her stash, I'll never understand the legal system.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday March 3rd, 2010

While there are no details on what the homage will actually be, word is that 82nd Academy Awards will feature a segment dedicated to horror. That's saying a lot for the group that has all but ignored the genre since they awarded "Silence of the Lambs" Best Picture 19 years ago.

Tim Burton is aiming his sights on his next production as he makes plans to team with Russian Timur Bekmambetov for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Based on best selling author Seth Grahame-Smith's novel, in the same vein as his hit "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". Both film-makers will be taking on producer duties as a director has not yet been listed.

Warner Brothers has announced their plans to bring the classic "Space Invaders" to the big screen. This joins the long list of other classic arcade games that will be mentioned as in the works for big screen treatment and never heard from again!

Stefan Ruzowitzky, Austrian director of the Oscar winning "The Counterfeiters" is in talks to direct the period piece "The Last Voyage of the Demeter" which has been written for nearly five years now. Concentrating on the over seas voyage of Dracula as he fled Transylvania, this could be something fun on the horizon.

In Real People News: 

PETA has decided that the Berlin Zoo will be its next target as they urge the facility to have Knut the Polar Bear castrated. Not just an idle request, they are trying to prevent Mr. Knut from having incestual sex with his partner Giovanna who has the same grandpa polar bear as Knut.

O.J. Simpson has donated the suit he wore when acquitted of is wife's murder to the Smithsonian Museum. An official at the Smithsonian told TMZ "It's highly unlikely that we'll accept it".

On this day in history: 

1934 - John Dillinger escapes from an escape-proof jail in Crown Point Indiana, using a wooden pistol he carved himself. It's his second escape.

Newsblip: Natalie Portman to star in "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies"

News just dropped that Natalie Portman has signed on to play the "feisty heroine", Elizabeth Bennet, in the adaptation of Seth Gramme-Smith's "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". Smith took the original Jane Austen novel and spiced it up by adding, naturally, zombie hordes to the dry proceedings. The book is currently available for sale, and has garnered mixed reviews. Needless to say, this adaptation just got a lot more interesting (and dare I say, sexy).

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