joss whedon

Episode 204 - "The Cabin in the Woods"

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Been a while since you heard us giddy...

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The Cabin in the Woods (REVIEW)

If it weren't already taken by a decidedly less impressive film, then "The Cabin in the Woods" could very well have been named "The Last Horror Movie". It would very neatly sum up what this flick seems to be aiming to accomplish.

Clips: "The Cabin in the Woods" conjures "The Evil Dead"

A new clip has been released for the highly anticipated horror movie due out next month, "The Cabin in the Woods," brought to us by genre favorites Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard. The film, which has already played at the SXSW Film Festival with rave reviews, promises to take on the classic horror genre with some fun twists and turns along the way. The below clip, in which a group of teens play truth or dare, definitely has an "Evil Dead" vibe going for it.

Horror Headlines: Friday, February 24th, 2011

Last night I decided to give Wii fit a go. People loved it 5 years ago so I thought it was finally time. Have you ever had a little animated character on the TV look at you and tell you you're fat? I have and it's one of the most depressing things I've experienced in my life.

Dwayne Johnson, also known as "The Rock" just seems like a guy I'd like to hang out with. He's all funny and stuff. God I hope he drinks beer. While we try to find out let's discuss how Mr. Rock is now in talks to play the lead in a big screen adaptation of Steve Moore's graphic novel "Hercules: The Thracian Wars". Can you guess what the lead role is from the title? If you can't you might be stupid.

I really dislike that song "In Your Eyes" and therefore I have already decided I do not like the new movie coming out with the same title. It does not matter that Steve Howey, who's currently on the show "Shameless", has been added to the cast. I don't watch that show. It does matter that Joss Whedon is producing the romantic supernatural people connected by some cosmic energy movie. Because everything that guy does is awful. But I'm just rambling now.

Robert Knepper who was on "Prison Break" has joined the cast of CW's "Cult" about a cult leader who commands his minions to kill. I'm sick of these shows already.

I've seen trailers for "Madison County" flying around for a while now. It's the creepy looking flick about a killer who terrorizes a town while wearing a pig's head if you're wondering. And it looks like it's finally making it's way to DVD on May 8th. See? Today's not so bad. This rain will pass. Let's go get some breakfast together, ok?

In Real People News: 

Ya know if your daughter is traumatized by a TV show then you have every right as parents to file a lawsuit against the company who aired the show. Unfortunately if the show that messed her up is one about sex clubs and swingers and featured you two going at each other in batman costumes then that's all on you.

I've been going back and forth in my head as to what's worse. This PA woman who had sex with a 15 year old or her son who ratted her out to the cops. Probably the woman, right? Yeah I don't know why I was even putting thought into it.

Snapshots: "Cabin in the Woods", still no idea

As much as I'd like this to be terrible so I can go on an epic "Joss Whedon sucks" rant on the podcast, the trailer was so bonkers I'm holding out hope it might be good (as long as there aren't any superhuman anorexic chicks). And yes, I know he's only produced it, but if you think that will stop me from ranting about him you obviously haven't been here very long. Hi, I'm Eric, nice to meet you.

Horror Headlines: Friday, December 2nd, 2011

If you're not in the know like I am then you're probably clueless on "Hunger Games", a movie based on a book where kids are sent into a giant playing field and made to battle to the death. Well since it's based on a book and the movie is going to make the kids go gaga it's only stands to reason that the books would now be re-released with the hot teen heartthrobs adoring the cover. So here they are, the new hot sexy covers. I just used the word adorning.

When I was a kid and I popped in a VHS tape I knew I was in for a good time when I saw the Cannon Films logo come up. The "American ninja" movies alone filled up at least 3 years of a young Joe's life. And don't get me started on how much I loved the "Breakin'" films. Sadly, Cannon Films is gone but Documentary film maker Mark Harley is paying tribute to the classic video company with a new flick titled "Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films" which has just been picked up by Drafthouse Films for distribution. Seriously, you should have seen my fat 6 year old ass trying to break dance. It would've made you throw up.

"Cabin In the Woods" is a new horror flick from Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon about a guy who goes to a cabin with some friends and then finds a bunch of weird awful crap. I know that makes no sense but that's what we've got for a plot description. Want to get even more confused? Check out the new poster for the film. It's got a cabin all messed up like a rubix cube or some crap. I don't even know why I'm telling you this. Seriously, I was so fat and I was trying to do a head spin.

America may have never have gotten over the whole Tom Cruise going crazy thing but no one can deny that's he's just so tiny and adorable you want to lock him in your closet and keep him for your own. Every morning you'd wake up and peek inside the closet to see little Tom Cruise sleeping on the tiny little bed he's chained to. At night you'd dress him up in doll clothing and put on elaborate dinner shows with him as the star. All the while knowing that you've got one of Hollywood's top leading men as your little tiny man doll. It would be a dream. Anyway, Tom's going to star in "All You Need Is Kill" as a solider who gets trapped in a time loop when he's killed. I think I've said too much.

In Real People News: 

Here's a story about a guy in Florida who became so upset when his hooker didn't finish the job that he kidnapped her one year old daughter. I want you to sit there and think about that sentence for a minute. Now go call your mother and tell her that you love her.

And the insect take over has begun. Here's a freakin grasshopper the size of your god damn hand. We had a good run folks.

Snapshot: "Cabin in the Woods" (2011)

Plot details have been kept pretty mum on the highly anticipated horror spoof "Cabin in the Woods," so all that we really know is that the movie pokes fun at the typical stranded in the woods type of horror flick and that it stars Chris Hemsworth, Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, Jesse Williams, Fran Kranz, Kristen Connolly, Anna Hutchison and Amy Acker. Co-written by Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard and directed by Goddard, the film was put on hold due to MGM's money issues, but has now been picked back up by Lionsgate and set for an April 13, 2012 release date.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday March 30th, 2011

Everybody loved Joss Whedon's catchy little musical when it launched online, so now you can buy Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog in book form! Just be forewarned; you have to provide the musical parts yourself.

I'm not a very approachable guy in the mornings. You could say I'm a bit grumpy, so I'm going to use that as an excuse as I kick you all in the beans with this official trailer for MTV's Teen Wolf.

The "Piranha" was a pretty big success so of course a sequel is on it's way. It wasn't until now that director John Gulager has started to release some tidbits on the zany plot for "Piranha 3 Double D"; which moves from Lake Havasu to the chlorinated depths of a water park!

It was already known that "Your Highness" director David Gordon was angling for a remake of the classic "Suspiria" for his next film. In a recent interview with Movieline, Gordon made fans just a bit less apprehensive of his plans by mentioning that they had procured the original film's Goblin score and he fully plans on using it!

Were you saddened by the news that "World War Z" may not be coming to the big screen due to financial woes? According to Deadline Hollywood, things might not be so bad. There could be as many as three different financiers in talks to share the load on the $125 million budget.

In Real People News: 

Don't like your uncle's choice of preserves on his waffle? Why not shoot up the Waffle House to make your point?

Ron Low wants to restore your foreskin. That is, if you feel slighted that your parents had it hacked off when you were 10 minutes old. Are you one of those people? Well lucky for you, TLC is going to cover his business "TLC Tuggers" in an upcoming show!

Horror Headlines: Wednesday December 1st, 2010

I don't want to get your hopes up but I think Heath Ledger may be alive. Or at least it looks like he may make an appearance in the next Batman film via unreleased footage from the last movie. But let's go with Zombie Ledger, it sounds cooler. What, too soon?

All the world has Monica Keena fever right now. I mean did you see "Night of the Demons"? Action! And now she's been cast as a cult member in "Manson Girls" along with Laura Harring, Patti D'Arbanville, Estella Warren and Stella Maeve. Who's excited now? I don't even know what it's like to not be sarcastic anymore. Please help me.

Why the hell are people still talking to Joss Whedon about the freakin' "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" remake? I don't know folks but apparently now he is saying that he was offered to be a part of the film and passed. I can't wait to see what comes out next week so I can put it in the news and complain about it.

Here's the cast and a promo video for the new Syfy series "Being Human" which is the first thing I've seen on that channel that didn't feature a giant something or other. Unless you count Sam Huntington's forehead. I mean am I right? Anyway the show is about a ghost, a vampire, and a werewolf all living together and trying to cope. With sexy results!

In Real People News: 

Finally someone is honest about why they jump down to save people who fall on the subway tracks! A NY man admits to leaping down to save a man who passed out because he knew that if the guy got hit it would delay the trains for hours and he wouldn't make it to work on Sunday, which is time and a half.

Wait seriously, this worked? A man in Missouri has been acquitted of a DWI charge after he claimed to have gotten drunk to keep warm after his car lost control on an icy road. This is actually the same reason I need to get hammered to make the ten minute walk from my bus stop to my house. I could freeze to death without the sweet sweet warmth of booze.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday November 23rd, 2010

Warner Bros. has confirmed they will be in fact moving forward with a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" reboot and one Mr. Joss Whedon will have absolutely nothing to do with it. I have to say once I googled Joss Whedon and found out he's the guy that made the Buffy show I never watched I was enraged! Wait no, neutral, I was neutral... sorry.

Do you have "Black Swan" fever? Me too! Here's a new music video for the film that highlights the fact that it's a movie about ballet and that I'm pretty sure no one has a freakin clue what the hell this film is about. Swans, I assume something to do with swans.

"Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale" is Finnish and is about an evil Santa Clause so in turn it is frightening as hell. Nothing could be more frightening than a bunch of angry people screaming in whatever language they speak in Finland while Santa slaughters everyone. To prove this point there's some new photos for your to crap your pants over.

Finally here is the news you've all been waiting for, "Sleepaway Camp IV: The Survivor" is complete and there's a new poster for the film. Spoiler alert though, Joss Whedon has absolutely nothing to do with this film. This guy can't catch a break. Well best of luck Jossy, hope things turn around for you.

In Real People News: 

If you watched that episode of "Hoarders" where they removed over 1,000 rats from that house and thought, "aww I sure would like one of those", you're in luck. Apparently each and every one of those disgusting disease carrying rodents is up for adoption. Come on you animal loving freaks, step up to the plate.

Dreading Thanksgiving because you know your fat ass can't stop eating and your pants are going to split? Good news! Someone invented "Gluttony Pants" that can expand to make room for your extra lard. So go nuts you slob.

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