machete

Episode 285 - "Machete Kills"

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More Machete? Great. Less Jessica Alba? Not so sure...

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The Top Ten Horror Movies of 2010

Dieter Laser of The Human Centipede

When the BGH Crew began discussing its nominations for its list of the top ten horror films of the year, one thing became rather obvious. While it's been a year filled with lots of quality horror films -- indeed, some might even say risky films -- there wasn't that one movie that broke away from the crowd to truly establish itself as the best.

Episode 132 - "Machete"

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This week we debate the finer points of how to best pronounce "Machete", and the possible attractiveness of a certain fiery Latina.

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Video: Boat Load of New Clips From "Machete"

A ridiculous amount of clips from "Machete" have found their way online and they're pretty much what you would expect. Lots of blood, lots of strippers and some serious bad acting. I mean all three of those things in the best way possible. Check them out below and look for "Machete" this Friday in theaters.

Trailer: "Machete" Will Blow Your Mind

I do not have any freakin clue what "Machete" is about but I'm not sure that really matters. From what I can tell Danny Trejo plays a guy who is "double crossed" and then starts cutting people up. Then Cheech Marin, who plays a priest, mind you, decides he wants to help so he blows up some cars. Then Jessica Alba comes out and does some really bad acting. Then Lindsay Lohan dresses up like a nun and shoots people in the face. Oh and Steven Seagal and Don Johnson are there too. I'm sure I'm forgetting something but it doesn't really matter.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday April 27th, 2010

The 3-D craze has donned its leather jacket and pointed its motorcycle towards the ramp as Paramount Pictures has announced plans to make a new "Ring" movie, this time in 3-D. David Loucka has already been tapped to pen the script in what Paramount hopes is a reinvention of the franchise.

"Scream" scribe Kevin Williamson put to rest the rumors that Jamie Kennedy will be returning for "Scream IV". "We're not that universe where you can bring people back from the dead. That would be just a cheat." Good to see that there's still some integrity in Hollywood!

While not really news in and of its self, be sure to keep your eyes peeled for this sweet "Nightmare on Elm Street" popcorn bucket when you head out to catch the remake this weekend!

In a recent press junket for his latest feature "Robin Hood", director Ridley Scott let slip that the both of the upcoming "Alien" prequels will be released in 3D. If you're paying attention, you'll notice that I used the word 'both'. Scott also let it be known that he is planning on two prequels for the franchise.

"Machete" is no longer the only feature to spawn from the fake trailers shown in 2007's "Grindhouse". The next trailer to be stretched to full length will be "Hobo With a Shotgun" starring none other that Rutger Hauer.

In Real People News: 

Christina Cifaldi has a beef against Wal Mart's clothing lines as she has been arrested for $163 worth of clothes, taking them into the fitting room and urinating all over them. It was pretty easy for officials to deduce who the culprit was as Cifaldi had left her wallet and drivers license in the fitting room next to her stinky leavings.

A Brazilian woman decided to go for a drive after one too many drinks, and ended up causing the death of another woman and her unborn child. When the drunken 24 year old tried to leave the scene of the accident, a group of onlookers drug her from her car and shot her five times for her crime.

On this day in history: 

4977 BC - God creates the universe, according to calculations by mystic and part-time astronomer Johannes Kepler.

Horror Headlines: Monday April 19th, 2010

This just in from the odd marketing department, Bloody Disgusting will be hosting the world premiere of Andrew Howard's "Pig" on their website tonight at 6pm PST. In an effort to encourage everyone to download, burn and pass the film around to their friends, the film makers have made a catchy retro DVD cover for you to print out and use as well.

Been waiting to chop into "Machete"? Good news for you then. The official release date for the Robert Rodriguez directed and Danny Trejo starring grindhouse throwback "Machete" has been set for September 3rd, 2010.

Interesting news for horror comics fans as DC announces an "X-Files" and "30 Days of Night" cross over event. As nice as the feral acting vamps were in the far north, I still don't think they stand a chance against the likes of Mulder and Scully!

In Real People News: 

Human sacrifice? Yup, still happening. Indian officials have found the headless torso of a 25 year old male in front of the temple of Goddess Kali.

There is lots of disgusting organisms in the ocean. A recent consensus performed by a joint task force of US and Netherland scientists have discovered that there are many new life forms we were never aware of. Included in these findings was a large microbial mat made up of thousands of living micro-organisms. On it's own, this doesn't sound so bad. When the mat of living critters is the size of Greece? That's a little frightening.

On this day in history: 

1910 - Halley's comet reappears, last seen in 1835. The Earth passes safely through the comet's tail with no perceptible effect, not counting the death of Mark Twain.

Horror Headlines: Monday January 25th, 2009

Want to kick off your Monday with some exciting rumors? How about the rumblings that there may be a 3-D "Gremlins" in our future?

A bidding war broke out over Robert Rodirguez directed "Machete" over the weekend with 20th Century Fox winning the battle... in the process, they've also locked up the rights to Rodriguez's future work.

New images from the upcoming "Piranha 3-D" have shown up online and they're suitably gruesome. Just a fair warning, mangled mammaries ahead!

Now that "Legion" has hit theaters, director Scott Stewart sits down to talk about his next Paul Bettany starring movie, "Priest". Let's hope it's more interesting than his last one.

In Real People News: 

A cable TV exec charged with beheading his wife last year has come up with the clever defense that he cut her head off because she was mean to him.

A Chino Valley man has broken his parole by sexually assaulting his neighbor's dog. Might as well go out in style, I guess.

On this day in history: 

1947 - Al Capone dies in Florida, suffering from dementia caused by a long untreated case of syphilis.

Horror Headlines: Monday August 10th, 2009

Time for the worst thing you've ever seen to kick off your Monday... Selma Hayek as a bearded lady in "The Vampire's Assisant". The film was formerly known as "Cirque Du Freak", and stars John C. Reilly as a vampire who... has an assistant.

Rider Strong joins the cast of the indie film "Darkening Sky", about a man having alien abduction nightmares only to discover it's more than a dream.

First poster for Joe Dante's "The Hole 3D". The film follows two young brothers who discover a hole in their basement, and the hijinks that follow when they decide to venture into it.

Here's the full synopsis for Robert Rodriguez's "Machete"... and let's just say that once you match up the actor's names it's... special.

In Real People News: 

Take note ladies, setting a man's genitals on fire is definitely an effective way to get him to stop harassinng you. Those guys don't always take a hint.

600 lb prisoner sneaks gun into jail in one of his fat rolls. I don't think I can blame the guy who searched him... would YOU go digging around in there?

Former French President Chirac claims George W. Bush quoted the prophecy of Gog and Magog to him to try and appeal to their "mutual faiths" in order to gain his cooperation in the Iraq war. So it's official, our president quoted "C.H.U.D." as a matter of foreign policy. (flip to about 7:02 and sit back and enjoy).

On this day in history: 

1969: Leno and Rosemary LaBianca are brutally murdered in their Los Feliz, California home by followers of Charles Manson. They take some of their victims' blood and smear HEALTER SKELTER on the refrigerator door.

Horror Headlines: Thursday August 6th, 2009

Paris Hilton to guest star on the upcoming season of "Supernatural". I would make a joke about Supernatural being lame, but I've noticed lately that its fanbase is especially rabid when it comes to these things... so I'm putting up the white flag. The show's great! Love it!

Bryan Singer to produce 2012 themed miniseries for Syfy. Wow, that's the greatest/worst sentence I've ever typed. I don't think I'll be able to resist.

News landed today that starting on September 2nd, the unreleased episodes from last summer's "Fear Itself" will be available on FearNET. There will be 5 episodes in total.

On casting news, "True Blood's" Ann Woll joins the cast of Darren Lynn Bousman's "Mother's Day" remake. No word on what character she'll be playing. The production is shooting for a Spring release, so expect production to ramp up pretty quickly as we move into late Summer/Fall.

So Robert Rodriguez's "Machete" has the weirdest cast ever. Robert Deniro, Lindsay Lohan, Michelle Rodriguez... I'm pretty sure this is some kind apocalyptic sign here. Syfy should write this into their miniseries.

In Real People News: 

This guy's scam to cheat on his wife and swindle women through Craigslist was going really well, until he got caught and they super-glued his dangle to his stomach. Awwwwww shit... I don't care what that guy did, that is NOT COOL.

Newscorp says online news will not be free for much longer. He added, "unless of course you visit bloodygoodhorror.com, that's the greatest site ever and it's totally free". Ya I thought that was weird too, but I thought it best not to question.

On this day in history: 

1945: At 9:15am, Col. Paul Tibbets releases "Little Boy" over Hiroshima and executes a hard, 159-degree turn. 40 seconds later, the Atomic Bomb detonates, yielding a 12.5 kiloton explosion and a huge, black mushroom cloud. About 45,000 people are killed immediately, and another 200,000 are killed in later years by leukemia and other radiation illnesses.

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This week we discuss alchemy, camera technology, a first time guest host joins the show, and we review "As Above, So Below".  

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