If you remember a short while back I filled you in on the fact that Spike Lee would be directing the US remake of "Oldboy". Well now it looks like the project has a leading man in the form of Mr. Josh Brolin. Oh you don't remember how I told you about Spike Lee? You've had other things on your mind lately? That's fine... work late again. I guess I'll eat this entire pot roast by myself.
The closer we get to the release of "Apollo 18" the more I think this movie is going to bore the hell out of me. These new clips from the space found footage flick don't do much to ease my worries. There's a footprint or something, some guys looking serious inside a shuttle and an advertisement for The Game's new album. The last part actually sounds kind of good. Just saying... I'm pretty thug.
William Monahan, who won an Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay for "The Departed" a few years back as been taped to direct "Sin City 2" by producers Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller. I'm not 100% sure what "Best Adapted Screenplay" is but it sounds like a fancy way of saying he used the "Save As" function in some kind of Hollywood version of Microsoft Word. I've got to get my hands on that version. I need an Oscar so bad it hurts.
I had no idea there was a new "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" movie coming but it looks like there is and according to co-writer Scott Z. Burns the film will bare little resemblance to the original book. Because ya know, it was such a pile of crap and we can only hope that Burns along with the 5 other people listed as writing this can salvage something from it. Next I hope they take a crack at "Gone With the Wind", that sucker needs some help.
In Real People News:
How awesome would it be to see your gym teacher get tased by the police? Well a group of kids in north Carolina lived that dream when their coach apparently started choking a student and fought with a group of parents. Of course my gym teachers are probably all dead by now so that wouldn't be very awesome. We'd have to dig them all up and crap before we ever thought about tasing.
New Jersey in the house! Here's a heartwarming tale of a NJ doctor who apparently lost her shit on her 13 year old adopted daughter and stabbed her with a screwdriver over 100 times because the little bugger washed the dog's cloths wrong. We do not play in Jersey! We take out animals outfits seriously.
The literary mash-up trend is nearing overkill as author Alan Goldsher sells the rights to his upcoming Beatles zombie novel "Paul is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion". The book is due out in June yet film rights are already sold. How many more trendy merging's will we see before this fad dies out?
Speaking of sequel news, here's one I know you've all been waiting for! Full Moon pictures, home of Charles Band and his wacky puppets, has announced "Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver"! No word on if Busey will make a return to his most famous roll ever or not. (See what I did there?)
In Real People News:
On a somewhat serious note, the FCC has decided to let the MPAA add DRM to TV shows controlling what devices you are allowed to play your recordings on. Always remember; big brother is watching you.
One person in Northhampton is going to hell; it would appear upon checking the victims ID that they had struck Lord Jesus Christ with their car as he crossed the street. Although bruised and a bit battered, thankfully Lord Jesus Christ wasn't permanently injured or crucified.
On this day in history:
1941 - Running out of fuel and unable to find a suitable spot to land his Messerschmitt, Deputy Fuhrer Rudolf Hess bails out over Scotland. When Hess claims to have made the trip in order to negotiate a peace treaty with England, the Nazis declare that he was a psychotic who "lived in a state of hallucination." After the war, Hess is confined to Spandau Prison until his apparent suicide in 1987.
TBS has made a lot of waves lately with their recent Conan O'Brian announcement, but that's not the only news the soon to be major cable player has up its sleeve. In June, they will be bringing us a bit of animated horror comedy with their newly announced series "Neighbors from Hell". Think your neighbors are bad? They can't be as bad as the Hellmans, hailing straight from the netherworld. Hellmans... get it?
The first high res shots of Josh Brolin as "Jonah Hex" have appeared online. Looking true to character, I still think the movie would be more exciting if we didn't have to mention it also starred Megan Fox.
In Real People News:
Justin.tv makes the news this week as a 19 year old San Francisco male broadcasts his suicide to hundreds of spectators. Feeling guilty for egging him on, the forum moderator where the 19 year old left his suicide note called the local authorities as the viewers watched the police break in on camera to recover the body.
Lake Tahoe police feared a terrorist event when they caught a 60 year old man parked in a no parking zone. During their investigation, they found a wire with an attached on/off switch in his pocket leading to his anal cavity. It turns out, the wire just lead to the man's vibrating butt plug.
On this day in history:
1910 - American original Mark Twain dies of heart failure in Redding, CT.
Straight from the 'a sequel to what?' news desk; directory Harry Bromly Davenport let slip that he will be releasing a sequel to 1983's "Xtro". On the bright side, it's an actual sequel and not a remake!
Columbia Pictures is starting up the "Men in Black 3" hype machine as they begin to throw around names for the planned sequel. Thrown around so far are Josh Brolin, Sascha Baron Cohen and Jemaine Clement of "Flight of the Conchords" fame. None of these names are a lock however, just a listing of who the studio hopes to snag.
Nerd goddess Felicia Day has signed on to Syfy's "Red", a modern day retelling of "Little Read Riding Hood". Swap out the innocence of a little girl going to see her granny with Day's family who makes their living hunting werewolves and that's your plot.
Prince William's comely girlfriend Kate Middleton failed her first test for her future of protecting the crown jewels. After the Prince gave her a pair of antique pearl studs for her birthday, she found herself sifting through dog poop trying to find them when her pet cocker spaniel swallowed them whole.
On this day in history:
1997 - Notorious B.I.G. (Christopher Wallace) killed in a drive-by outside the Soul Train Music Awards in Los Angeles.
