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Horror Headlines: Monday, December 12th, 2011

How the hell can there be a trailer for a movie that doesn't come out for 5 months?! Someone needs to explain this to me. But here's the first trailer for "Men In Black 3" which doesn't come out till May 25th. I assume the DVD will be released sometime in April though so look for that.

So there's an "American psycho" remake coming obviously and today we've got some exciting news on who might be taking the lead role of Patrick Bateman. Or really I should say who novelist Bret Easton Ellis is demanding take the role or he isn't going to sign off on the film. Who does he want? Scott Disick or Miles Fisher of course. For those of you keeping track at home that's the guy who's married to one of the Kardashian's or the guy who played Tom Cruise in "Superhero Movie". It's so hard to choose, maybe both of them can split the movie.

If there's one thing the world needs more of it's vampire/comedy/horror/romance/revenge flicks. Oh and there's also some signs that lead me to believe that "Bloodsucka Jones" might be a soft core porn. But other than that the trailer looks awesome. Or maybe I should say because of that the trailer looks awesome. I don't know. I'm not god!

I don't even know what to say about this. Here's a bunch of stills and a trailer for the new zombie flick fresh out of Taiwan called "Zombie 108". Alright I'll be honest it doesn't look that crazy or anything, standard run of the mill end of the world zombie take over movie, but I'm really tired and I really have no idea what to say. I'm a giant let down I know.

In Real People News: 

Home made penis enlargements never seem to work. Trust me! But here's a guy in New Jersey who's girlfriend took it upon herself to give him one and he died. Now she's in jail with a bunch of women and no penises. Should have been happy with what you had, sister.

And here's a heartwarming story about a Florida family who stole the Christmas decorations of their neighbor's yard and set them up in their own. Needless to say they got caught. Santa is always watching.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday May 19th, 2010

"Flight of the Conchords" star Jemaine Clements has signed on as Yaz for "Men in Black 3". Joining Will Smith, Josh Brolin and a bookended Tommy Lee Jones, the movie will be set in 1969.

Troma Studios continues to be awesome as they have posted "Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead" online for free!

"The Lost Skeleton of Cadavera" prepares to return... again, as Shout Factory announces the release of Larry Blamire's b-movie homage "The Lost Skeleton of Cadavera Returns Again" and "Dark and Stormy Night" this coming August.

In Real People News: 

The New Zealand Parliament was evacuated due to a bomb threat. Once the package was opened, it was discovered that they were shipped a box of cluster flies. Not ones to let the government grind to a halt due to a pesky bomb scare, the officials reconvened at a local pub to continue discussions.

Internet mega-giant and our new dark overlords Google come under scrutiny when the company admits to recording hours of communications over unsecured wireless networks.

On this day in history: 

1536 - In the first public execution of an English queen, Anne Boleyn is beheaded.

Horror Headlines: Monday May 10th, 2010

The literary mash-up trend is nearing overkill as author Alan Goldsher sells the rights to his upcoming Beatles zombie novel "Paul is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion". The book is due out in June yet film rights are already sold. How many more trendy merging's will we see before this fad dies out?

I hope you're ready for an all new family friendly hip hop theme song because Will Smith has signed on for an all new "Men In Black 3D" feature. Tommy Lee Jones and Josh Brolin are in final talks as the project starts to take shape.

Speaking of sequel news, here's one I know you've all been waiting for! Full Moon pictures, home of Charles Band and his wacky puppets, has announced "Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver"! No word on if Busey will make a return to his most famous roll ever or not. (See what I did there?)

In Real People News: 

On a somewhat serious note, the FCC has decided to let the MPAA add DRM to TV shows controlling what devices you are allowed to play your recordings on. Always remember; big brother is watching you.

One person in Northhampton is going to hell; it would appear upon checking the victims ID that they had struck Lord Jesus Christ with their car as he crossed the street. Although bruised and a bit battered, thankfully Lord Jesus Christ wasn't permanently injured or crucified.

On this day in history: 

1941 - Running out of fuel and unable to find a suitable spot to land his Messerschmitt, Deputy Fuhrer Rudolf Hess bails out over Scotland. When Hess claims to have made the trip in order to negotiate a peace treaty with England, the Nazis declare that he was a psychotic who "lived in a state of hallucination." After the war, Hess is confined to Spandau Prison until his apparent suicide in 1987.

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