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Episode 284 - "Dracula 3D"

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In which we subject ourselves to Argento's latest...

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Shelf Space: "Demons" Blu-ray Review

The audience at the Metropol Theatre in Berlin settle into their seats, crack open a Coca Cola, and prepare themselves for a little horror film. What they didn't prepare for, is to have the theatre become their own personal hell on earth-- run rampant with obscene, ultra-violent DEMONS. They must do their best to survive this blood bath and pray they don't become one of Satan's spawn. This movie pretty much describes my feelings on the movie theatre "experience." I feel old.

The House with Laughing Windows (REVIEW)

A young artist travels to a remote Italian village to restore a painting in a small out-of-the-way church. As soon as he begins his work he receives threatening phone calls warning him against restoring the painting, and a friend who had some information about the original artist, is murdered by being pushed out of a window. Later on the artist meets a young teacher and they begin to have a romantic affair while he works on the painting, as the inhabitants of the village begin to make their plans for him known.

Shelf Space: "The Bird with the Crystal Plumage" Blu-ray Review

The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970)
Director: Dario Argento
Writer: Dario Argento
Starring: Tony Musante, Suzy Kendall
Company: VCI Entertainment

BGH Classic Pack - So Bad It's Good

In a perfect world, we would never watch a film for the podcast that wasn't a fan favorite or cult classic. Unfortunately for us, that is not a feasible outcome. But luckily for you, dear listener, the absolute worst films often make for pure podcast gold.

In this new classic pack -- So Bad It's Good -- we explore five true bottom-of-the-barrel films. Each a laugher of a different stripe, but producing laughers on the podcast that are very predictable.

Horror Headlines: Friday January 25th, 2013

Are you going to cry during the finale of "30 Rock" next week? I'm not going to. Just an FYI. It's just a show. Grow up.

It must be awful to be Chloe Grace Moretz's parents. She seems to be really good at things and I feel like she would be disgusted with me when she comes home after doing something awesome and I'm sitting on the couch wrapping up a 20 McNugget box. Now she's landed the lead in the big screen adaption of "If I Stay", a new film about a girl who can only remember the events after a serious car crash she is involved in. She'll probably be awesome too. So awesome that the only thing I could do to match her is eat 3 snack wraps after I finish the McNuggets. They're so good.

I have never understood the love for Dario Argento’s "Suspiria" but maybe that's because I love freedom and think the ballet is stupid and gross. None the less though I was kind of interested to see what was going to happen with the remake but according to director David Gordon Green the film may never get off the ground. Looks like the film is caught up in all kinds of legal mumbo jumbo and probably won't be made. To best honest "legal trouble" kind of sounds like "I was baked when I said I wanted to remake this movie and now I need to find a way out". But what do I know.

There are probably 4 people on this planet that actually give a crap about the WWE's reboot of "Leprechaun" but damn it all if that is going to stop them. To their credit though the gang behind the film say it will be a lot darker and more of a traditional horror film then the original. So that's something right? To be clear 1 of the 4 people is Mark from the podcast. He gets so excited. His little arms just get all a flutter in his size XS Stone Cold t-shirt.

I have never seen a version of "The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow" tale I did not like. To be fair though I've only seen 2 and 1 of them was a Disney cartoon. Now it looks like those crazy freaks over at Fox are rolling on a pilot for a new show based on the classic headless horseman tale. "Underworld" director Len Wiseman will lead the pilot and I swear if there's not a talking frog and possibly a singing bug of some sort I will hunt him down and give him a stern talking to.

In Real People News: 

Apparently in South Carolina you can be arrested for choking a hog. Who knew?

You can also be arrested in Oregon for punching a dog and sticking it in an oven. That seems a lot more obvious though.

Opera (REVIEW)

Dario Argento's "Opera" tells the story of a young budding opera starlet who is being stalked by a killer that likes to tie her up and force her to watch him kill people by taping needles under her eyelids. The movie starts out with Betty, the young opera singer, landing her first big role as a lead in "Hamlet." The killer immediately begins to stalk her and murders a stagehand during her first performance, causing the crew to lament that the play is cursed, as they believe productions of "Hamlet" often are.

Beyond the Black Rainbow (REVIEW)

"Beyond the Black Rainbow" is a film that defies criticism. It's mercurial, only threatening on occasion to amass into something solid, something that can be quantified and critiqued. In fact, I'd be inclined to call it nonsense, if it weren't for the fact that it's so damn beautiful.

Described as a "Reagan-era fever dream inspired by hazy childhood memories of midnight movies and Saturday morning cartoons", "Beyond the Black Rainbow" centers on The Arboria institute, where creepy Dr. Nyle keeps a young girl captive in an all white room, cut off from the rest of the world.

Horror Headlines: Friday, December 16th, 2011

I've had a frozen pumpkin pie sitting in my freezer for over two years now and on Christmas I plan on finally eating it. There's a 75% chance I'll become violently ill, which is ok because I could stand to lose a few pounds. Either way I win.

"Gone" sounds like the worst idea for a movie ever imagined. A girl comes home to find her sister missing and is convinced the serial killer who kidnapped her 2 years ago has returned. The best ending for this would be that she just went out for ice cream. But hey, Amanda Seyfried is in it and there's some new posters with her on them. So we should probably see it. You know, to help the economy or whatever.

Dario Argento's "Dracula 3D" has got a new trailer today but I should warn you, it's chock full of spoilers. I should also warn you that it's a new Dario Argento movie so you know it's not good and stuff. I should also warn you that I get very emotional around the holidays so you may have to put up with some random sobbing over the next couple of weeks.

I'm going to come right out and say it, I find Reese Witherspoon adorable. She seems so nice and I'd let her babysit my child in a heartbeat. I know she'd be good at it. And now she's been cast in "The Devil's Knot". A film that sounds like a gay porn but is actually the true life story of The West Memphis Three, a story about 3 teens who were wrongly accused of the murder of three 8-year-old boys. I'm pretty sure this isn't a romantic comedy.

Hot diggity dog! Here's a couple of posters for "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter", a movie based on the book with a title that should give you a pretty good idea of what the movie is about. Did that sentence confuse you? It's like a strange riddle, isn't it? I wrote it and then fell to the floor and convulsed for about 15 minutes.

In Real People News: 

Two things you should never do at McDonald's. Fall asleep there and look at child pornography on your laptop. And for the love of god you should never do those two things together like this guy from Indiana. Of course you should probably never do that first one anywhere.

Giallo (REVIEW)

Dario Argento has taken a lot of flack from fans who are awaiting the filmmakers’ return to the form that made him a defining force in the evolution of the horror film during the latter half of the 20th century. But has the form really ever changed or is Argento just taking his style into new technical and aesthetic realms in an effort to keep himself interested in the craft? His early works are hardly uniform even if similarities exist.

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