drive angry

Episode 154 - "Drive Angry 3D"

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We review the latest Nicolas Cage film and Louis prepares us for the oncoming Anglo/Mexican wars.

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10 Phases of Nic Cage's Hair

Nic Cage has had a varied career. He’ s played family men, vampires, business tycoons and more. His range carries him from one role to the next with ease. There is only one thing more varied that Cage’s roles and that is his hair.

It’s been big, it’s been slick, it’s been high and tight and more. Sometimes the hair draws more attention than the role, other times it’s a silent sidekick waiting in the wings for its time to shine. Join me today in honor this week’s release of “Drive Angry 3D” as we take a journey through the 10 Phases of Nic Cage’s Hair.


Drive Angry

Drive Angry (REVIEW)

At this point in his career Nicolas Cage has fallen into the same category at Tom Cruise. There's no doubt he's got talent, movies like "Leaving Las Vegas" are proof enough of that. But at some point he took a hard left and now it's almost impossible to take him seriously. "Drive Angry" is a throw back to the late 80's and early 90's action movies a lot of us grew up watching and if it had been made back then it probably would have been taken a lot more seriously, or at the very least, we'd still be in a Pre-"The Wicker Man" Nic Cage world.

Horror Headlines: Friday February 4th, 2011

If you're like me and had a Super Nintendo or Sega Genesis then when you were a kid then you probably owned the game "Zombies Ate My Neighbors". So you're going to be super excited that there's going to be a movie made out of the game. You're then going to also think back to how you were overweight, had acne, wore way too many Metallica t-shirts and couldn't get a girlfriend until college. It's OK to cry, I am.

For those of you giddy about "The Walking Dead" then you're probably going to waddle your chubby ass to the store on march 8th when Season 1 hits DVD and Blu-Ray. Well put down the McRib fat ass and enjoy this new DVD trailer in honor of the release. I have no idea why I'm calling everyone fat, I've run out of other sarcastic things.

If there's one thing that's a good time it's making fun of people who World of Warcraft, sorry Erin. But now Undead Labs has teamed up with Microsoft to build a new zombie franchise game that will be available on Xbox Live for the Xbox 360. The game will allow gamers to play out their sickest fantasies of what they would do in a zombie apocalypse. They're currently calling the game "Class3" but I assume that will change by the time it comes out.

As much as it pains me to keep talking about "Drive Angry" I just can't stop. Here's a new NSFW video for the film that literary has a half a second shot of boobs for no reason whatsoever other than to make it a NSFW clip. "Not Safe For Work"? More like "No Stupid Freakin Way"! I'm still working on it.

In Real People News: 

Aliens have invaded Jerusalem my friends, get your guns and prepare for the intergalactic war. Video has popped up on the tubes of what some are calling a spaceship coming down and hovering over a temple in the holy land. But let's not think about it, there's video on the internet, that's proof enough for me to demand we launch the missiles.

My favorite part of Valentines Day? And I only say this in the hopes my wife is reading this, but those tiny little heart shaped candies with adorable messages on them. They're so tasty! But I never got one like this girl in Califnornia who picked a winner that said "Nice Tits". That's a keeper, you don't just eat a message like that.

Horror Headlines: Friday January 28th, 2011

If your car breaks down and you agree to getting a lift from a strange guy as long as you ride in the trailer for his big rig then you deserve every awful thing that is coming your way. In the case of "Prowl", the latest release form the After Dark Originals series that awful thing is being left in a warehouse full of flesh eating monsters.

The world sits and waits for what I assume will be the academy award winning film "Drive Angry" to be released in late February. To tide us over the makers have put out a dandy motion poster which you can print out and hang on your wall. Of course then it won't be in motion anymore but you can still fawn over Nic Cage in the privacy of your own bedroom. Sicko.

Hammer Films is at it again with "Wake Wood", a happy go lucky little tale about a couple who loses their only child in a dog attack and move to a small town where a pagan ritual gives them three more days with their daughter. A bunch of new photos have hit the net for your viewing pleasure and if you like you can email me and I'll send you some photos of myself that I've titled "Wake Wood" also.

I didn't even realize they were making a sequel to "Laid to Rest" but here we are kids with a trailer. "ChromeSkull: Laid to Rest 2" should please fans of the first, I think. honestly I haven't met any fans of the first. Come to think of it I don't think I'm met anyone's who saw the first. Come to think of it I forgot to put on pants today!

In Real People News: 

An emergency crew in Honolulu recently rescued a naked man who was trapped in a trash chute in the wee hours of the morning on Thursday. Everything really is sexier in Hawaii, even the garbage.

Break out the tissues racists, here's some sad news to spoil your Friday. After 65 years of dedication Hitler's last surviving bodyguard has announced that he can no longer respond to fan mail because of his age. How the hell did people get his address?

Horror Headlines: Wednesday January 19th, 2011

Every day I look on the tubes for news that's going to grab you by the lips and yank. Some days that task is pretty hard. Today is not one of those days. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a very NSFW clip of from "Drive Angry" where Nic Cage is having sex with a women while having a gunfight. I don't want to say you should skip the rest of the news but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't going to go downhill after this.

Because "Piranha 3D" is hitting DVD and Blu-Ray and that gives us a reason to continue being pervs, the makers recently held an online "Hottest Babes in Horror" showdown on their site. The winner? One Miss Eliza Dushku. The losers? A porn stay way past her prime, a girl I think is someone but if I'm wrong I sound really racist and a bunch of other people I don't recognized. So yeah, congrats.

Michael Tully is a director and he's created a movie called "Septien" that has the greatest movie poster I've seen this year. No there isn't anyone nude on it, sometimes I can be classy to you know. The movie focuses on a gambler who returns home after being away for years to reconnect with his insane brothers. Side note, I have no idea how to pronounce the title of this film.

"Dibbuk Box", which sounds like a Japanese prono, has added Kyra Sedgwick to it's ever growing cast list. From Sam Raimi's Ghost House Pictures, the movie follows the story of a young boy who becomes strangely attracted to a wooden box that contains a soul chomping demon. Sedgwick will play the unlucky tike's mother.

In Real People News: 

Nothing ruins a day of fun like losing your grip on the inflatable sex doll that you're floating down a river on. Luckily these Australian teens were rescued after the mishap and all is now well again. From the photo I think the sex doll made it out OK too, so happy times all around.

Cops ruin everything, fact. Here's a story of a guy who was playfully running around a highway completely naked after getting all wacky on LSD and booze and then the cops had to come along and taser him, three times. On second thought that sounds really awesome and the only bad part is that it wasn't captured on film.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday December 22nd, 2010

You read it here first. 2011 will be the year of Nicolas Cage. There's no denying it. He's got 47 films coming out including "Drive Angry" which now has a trailer for your viewing pleasure. The movie follows Nic as he angrily drives around looking for his daughters murderers. Then he drives some more.

According to Vin Diesel he's been tasked with having 3 different body types for this upcoming "The Chronicles of Riddick: Dead Man Stalking" flick. Of course he compared each of those types to his other movies and I've never once seen him look different in anything but what the hell do I know. Despite internet reports that have stated otherwise I won't spend my free time looking at Vin Diesel's washboard abs.

There's a new image, poster and synopsis for "Red Riding Hood". Don't bother clicking I'll explain them all. The pic is of Amanda Seyfried behind a tree, the poster is of Amanda Seyfried from far away and the synopsis is way to long for me to read but I assume the movie's going to be awful. You're welcome.

Finally here's the gals over at Team Unicorn, a group that I assumed was a number of things I can't mention here, have put together a video on how to deal with Zombies this holiday season titled "A Very Zombie Holiday". Adorable isn't it?

In Real People News: 

Am I the only one who thinks flash mobs are just a bunch of assholes looking for an excuse to be clever? Well so do the folks at the Westfield Galleria in Roseville CA after they had to evacuate the mall because so many people showed up to do their stupid mob crap they thought the building might collapse.

And here's a nice lesson to teach the kids. Just because you get so mad at your cab driver that you pull a knife on him doesn't mean you shouldn't still tip him when the ride is over. That's just common courtesy.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday November 17th, 2010

I don't want to say I'm some kind of god that can see into the future but here's the trailer for "Red Riding Hood" and as I predicted it looks like a pile of turds. Of course the words "From the director of 'Twilight'" attached to it might be considered a giveaway but if you want to call me the Nostradamus of crappy movies I'm not going to argue.

Here's a new one sheet for the long awaited indie film "Job". The story revolves around a group of priests who are hiding a secret only to be terrorized by "the Dark Christ". I assume that means the devil. It's got to be, right? Oh god have I stumbled upon some sort of weird racist propaganda movie?

Daniel Stamm, the guy who directed "The Last Exorcism", has been confirmed to be taking the helm of the English remake of "Martyrs". In other news, I'm finally going to see "Martyrs"! Once they make an English language version of it that is.

And I couldn't go a full week without some Nic Cage in my life. His new film "Drive Angry" in which he... well he drives a car real angry like, has been slapped with an R rating. When's the last time Mr. Cage was in an R rated movie? Was it that one where he tried to drink himself to death? I hope he tries to drink himself to death while driving in this one. Next level!

In Real People News: 

This seems to happen all the time but it doesn't make it any less funny. Some young prankster tampered with a highway sign in Arizona and drivers were warned of "Caution Zombies ahead!". Ya know some time there really are going to be zombies ahead and no one is going to believe it. Jerk.

Nice, Paris, real original. Apparently an outbreak of bed bugs is threatening the tourism industry of the cheese loving city and people are losing their berets over the whole thing. We've been doing this for months. Try something original.

Horror Headlines: Friday October 15th, 2010

I had always thought "Drive Angry" was a documentary about my road trip to Canada three years ago but based on the new trailer it's got nothing to do with that. The 3D flick stars Nicolas Cage as a badass who's broken out of hell to settle a few scores. I hope his face bursts into flames, I love when it does that.

I've officially had enough of Betty White. Alright I think I had had enough a few months back but this crap is getting out of hand. Betty is now confirmed to have landed a role in the upcoming "Men in Black 3" film. In contracts though Nicole Scherzinger, one of the strippers in The Pussycat Dolls, has also landed a role. Seeing pictures of the two next to each other makes my head hurt.

If you're pissed about paying to see movies in 3D get ready for your head to explode. Apparently "Paranormal Activity 2" will be released in selected iMax theaters for your viewing pleasure. Because when you're watching a movie shot completely on a home video camera you're going to want to see that on a giant screen and make sure it's crystal clear. That's just logic.

In Real People News: 

A man in South Florida won a $650,000 in a settlement for injuries he received while getting a lap dance. Apparently he was stabbed in the eye by the strippers heel which punctured his eye socket and gave him permanent double vision. Sounds to me like he's getting free two for one lap dances the rest of his life. I guess I'm just a "glass half full" kind of guy though.

On this day in history: 

1860 - Eleven-year-old Grace Bedell of Westfield, N.Y., wrote a letter to presidential candidate Abraham Lincoln, suggesting he could improve his appearance by growing a beard.

Horror Headlines: Monday August 31st, 2009

I guess Bob Weinstein was paying attention to this week's box office results, because he's announced that there is already a 3D "Halloween" sequel in the works, and one that will be shot without Rob Zombie. They're already in talks with a director, whom Weinstein declined to name, although whoever it is will have a hell of a time making a sequel considering he has to deal with all of the baggage brought by Zombie to the series story-wise.

The 2010 "Girls of Scotchworthy" calender is now available. Love indie horror and the babes that work in it? Do yourself a favor and purchase a calender from these guys.

Nic Cage has signed on to "Drive Angry", a revenge/action movie from "My Bloody Valentine 3D" director Patrick Lussier. That's right baby, Nicholas Cage in glorious 3D. Better start preparing your mindholes for that now.

In Real People News: 

Naked dude hi-jacks school bus, but that visual isn't as intriguing as the one of the children who decided to jump out of a moving bus to get away. I smell a "Speed" sequel.

Now teens are using social networking sites to arrainge fights. Finally, a much more efficient way to organize a beatdown.

Not gonna lie, that does look pretty dirty. Don't spend too much time trying to work out the details of what exactly is happening though, that can't be good for you.

On this day in history: 

1888: Jack the Ripper kills his first known victim, prostitute Mary Ann Nichols, slitting her throat from ear to ear.

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