Horror Headlines: Monday April 15th, 2013

I'm not saying I did or didn't watch the MTV Movie Awards last night but if I did I'd really like someone to explain to me what the hell a Macklemore is and why that big guy who sings with them wears such tight shirts? I had a lot of trouble accepting I was an XL too but I'm pretty sure this guy is still trying to squeeze into a size small.

Morgan Freeman will not play god or the president in the upcoming sci-fi flick "Transcendence". The film tells the story of a scientist who's brain is uploaded into a computer after he is killed by terrorists. Truth be told it hasn't been revealed what role Freedman will play so there is still a solid chance he could play the president, god or some sort of god/president hybrid here. I just like to think outside the box now and then.

Sunn Classic Pictures has gone ahead and dropped word that they intend to move forward with a remake of the 1983 classic killer dog flick "Cujo". Based on a Stephen King story, Sunn Classic is the same group that released the original and decided to hold on to the rights to the picture in the hopes that in 20 years we'd be remaking every horror film ever made. Well planned fellas.

If you loved last year's surprise gushable fan boy favorite "Dredd 3D" then you're in luck because a sequel is currently in the works and will drop this September. Of course the sequel will be in comic book form and instead of being able to watch cool stuff fly around the screen you'll have to read words and look at tiny stupid drawn pictures but still. Ya know what no I can't even joke about this. This is just awful and only exciting to virgins.

"Stripped", a new horror flick set in Vegas has been confirmed to be hitting DVD this coming May 14th. The flick follows a group of friends who find themselves in the company of strippers who also happen to take the vital organs of their clients. I'll be honest this movie doesn't sounds very good and I'll most likely never see it but I will read just about any article that mentions strippers.

In Real People News: 

If you're going to make a big purchase you want to try out the goods before you put down your hard earned money. Weather it's a new car or a large band saw. Of course if you're this guy in Los Angeles and you're going to test out a saw by trying to chop off your arms you might want to ask for a private room or something. People don't want to see that crap when they're looking for a new ceiling fan.

I've learned a few things about sports here in Chicago since moving to the area and probably the best fact is that the Cubs suck and everyone here blames it on a goat. So why wouldn't a fan send a severed goat's head directly to Wrigley field in the hopes that it would break the curse. Or cause it to continue on maybe? I don't know what the thought process was really I just hope Norwegian black metal was involved.

Horror Headlines: Thursday December 13th, 2012

It's often been said that if Johnny Depp and Christopher Nolan ever teamed up the world would explode from all the hot action that would be produced. Well folks get ready for the end of time because it's happening. The movie is "Transcendence" and I think it has something to do with a super computer that gets put inside a dead person or something. I'm not really sure. Truth be told I started reading the description and I started to daydream about Depp's gentle soft smile.

Gillian Anderson has been confirmed to be taking on a multi-episode role in the upcoming NBC show "Hannibal". The show is based on the much loved Hannibal Lecter character and Anderson will play the role of the good doctor's therapist. Funny story. I always get Gillian Anderson and Marlee Matlin mixed up so for a second I thought Lecter's therapist was going to be a deaf woman which I thought was kind of crazy. Good story huh?

ABC has given the thumbs up to a new zombie outbreak series titled "The Returned". Based on a novel by Jason Mott the show will focus on a small town in the Midwest where the dead return to change the lives of those they left behind. Kind of like "Pushing Daises" I'm guessing, only still on the air.

Want to know even more casting news for "Insidious Chapter 2"? Well Leigh Whannell, Angus Sampson and Andrew Astor will all be returning for the second installment of the film and I have absolutely no idea who they are or what roles they played. They all have really weird names though huh? Angus. Sounds like dangus. That's funny.

In Real People News: 

What do you get when a spelling mistake in the word "public" gets run in a newspaper ad? You get a "Pubic Charter School" of course. You also get hilarity.

An Oregon woman took the law into her own hands when she broke into the home of a woman she suspected of having relations with her husband and then tried to run down said husband with her pickup truck. I mean she's in jail now but still, taking the law into your own hands always sounds really bad ass.

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