the wicker tree

Horror Headlines: Monday August 26th, 2013

Let's just go ahead and accept that fact that I will most linky only write the news once this week. If by chance I end up doing more than that it's really just icing on the cake right? You're welcome.

Stephen King's "The Stand" is probably the longest book I've ever read. I started and stopped 3 times and it took me over a year but I am proud to say that I read it and have forgotten most of it. I'm 95% sure I loved it though. The point here is there's a film version of the novel in the works and Scott Cooper of "Crazy Heart" fame has been picked up as the director. Ben Affleck was originally set to take on the job but now he's playing Batman and pissing off everyone on the internet so his hands are pretty full. Of money! Am I right? "The Town" was great.

"X-Files" creator Chris Carter has dropped word that he has a solid idea for a third film and is waiting on Twentieth Century Fox to give him the green light. The third film would go back to the mythology of the original series and the alien invasion date which has now come and past. I for one would like to go back and explore the mythology that David Duchovny is dreamy. I'm not sure I'm using that word right.

I had no idea that "The Wicker Tree" was actually a follow up to the original "The Wicker Man" but I guess if I read my own news or did any sort of research on what I'm actually typing I would have. Good news here though is original creator Robin Hardy is moving forward with "Wrath Of the Gods", the third and final film in the series. No real details about the movie are available yet but he hopes to start filing in 2014 and plans to have this one focus on the gods that the islanders worship, rather than the offerings being sacrificed for them. I can't even lie, half the time I just read the title of the article and assume I know what's going on in the news.

I could have sworn this was already news but "All the Boys Love Mandy Lane" will finally see it's way to VOD on September 6th and selected theaters on October 11th. Seriously this already happened right? I'm positive I've already made every stupid comment I'm thinking of so just go back and read those. I bet they were hilarious.

In Real People News: 

A convenience store clerk in Connecticut has been critically injured after trying to stop two men from stealing a David Hasselhoff display in his store. Seems worth it doesn't it.

Bath salts are apparently a thing and this guy in Indiana went on a 90 minute rampage after he got all hopped up on 'em. Looks like battery, robbery, second-degree kidnapping, battery with the intent to commit a serious felony, cruelty to animals, malicious injury to property, and all kinds of other awesome fun is now on his list of offenses. Way to go buddy. Bring it back in a big way.

The Wicker Tree (REVIEW)

Let’s start this off by saying I’m not going to spend a lot of time comparing Robin Hardy’s 1973 “The Wicker Man” with his latest film “The Wicker Tree”. Surely enough people out there have grouped “The Wicker Man” amongst films such as “Rosemary’s Baby”, “Don’t Look Now”, and many others as a paramount example of prestige horror. It’s a movie that many genre fans and critics point to as an “excuse” for genre films or to show horror detractors that, yes; these movies are worth their salt. But this isn’t a review of comparing this unofficial/spiritual “sequel” to its noteworthy ancestor.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday, February 14th, 2012

"The Wicker Tree" might possibly be my number one favorite film based on "The Wicker Man" that isn't exactly a sequel or a remake. There was a lot of competition. Oh and I haven't seen it. But still, number 1. The good news here is that the film will finally see the light of day on DVD and Blu-Ray on April 24th. If that news doesn't put you in the mood then you're dead from the waste down.

Go ahead and add a new version of "Beauty And the Beast" to the long list of movies Guillermo del Toro is working on. Warner Bros. has confirmed that the great Spaniard will be directing their retelling of the classic tale. The film will be called "Beast" and I assume will not feature Angela Lansbury in any way, shape or form. She was the teapot in the Disney animated version. That's what that joke means.

If I was forced at gun point to pick a director for "Jitters", a new family friendly flick about mutated bugs, I would pick Mike Mitchell. Yes the guy who directed "Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked". Seems obvious when you say it out loud. Luckily for me Paramount picked him too. So you don't have to put a gun to my head. Unless that's how you get your kicks, fly-boy. I don't want to judge.

Blah blah blah Warner Bros. blah blah "Paranormal Activity" meets "Rear Window" blah blah title is "The Waiting". Plop plop fizz fizz.

In Real People News: 

Here's a fun story about a High School coach who accidental posted nude photos of himself on Facebook for the world to see. I can only imagine the mental issues I would of had if that had happened when I was a kid. Coach Ronca was a hairy, frightening SOB.

It's Valentine's Day so here's a story of love. A Minnesota man has been arrested after he was caught going to town on himself right outside his girlfriends jail cell window. Are you crying right now? It's ok, everyone loves romance.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

If you're super excited about "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" then I bet you also love The Cure. I'm just guessing here. So make sure there's no guyliner in your way because there's a bunch of new photos on the tubes for the flick that hits theaters on December 21st. Try not to cry too much.

Wait, "The Wicker Tree" hasn't come out already? Color me surprised! Apparently it doesn't hit theaters until January 27th and to prove it here's a new poster for the Americans trapped on an island with a bunch of crazy Scotts flick. I don't know how the poster proves the movie hasn't come out yet actually. Sometimes I just make this crap up as I go along.

I feel like it was just last week that we discussed Elijah Wood landing the lead role in the upcoming remake of the 1980 slasher classic "Maniac". I think it was last week actually. 2 weeks tops. Where has time gone! Anyway there's already some images out and about of Mr. Wood (teehee) playing the part. Look at them. Love them.

I don't know what it is but Steven Soderbergh always makes me hungry for a sandwich. I've probably used that joke before. Lately I've questioned every joke I make on here. But the point here is Soderbergh has confirmed his next project will be a mind f'er dealing with drugs currently titled "The Bitter Pill". I don't even know who I am anymore.

In Real People News: 

Everyone loves a good joke. Unless of course that joke is "I have AIDS" after you just had unprotected sex with someone. That one isn't so funny. In fact this DC man thought it was so not funny that he shot the girl who made the joke. I guess you could say... that joke really kills. hahah get it!?

Watching child pornography is illegal no matter where you do it. Even if you're on a plane and thousands of miles above the earth. I didn't think people had to be told that.

Horror Headlines: Monday August 15th, 2011

If you liked "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" then get ready because it looks like the writers have a trilogy in mind. Or have always had in mind. How quickly they decided this after the film made a boat load of money no one knows but let's pretend it was always the plan. That makes it nicer.

It looks like the long awaited sequel to "The Wicker Man", the original not the Nic Cage masterpiece, titled "The Wicker Tree" will hit theaters in early 1012 thanks for the good people at Anchor Bay. The sequel tells the story of two newcomers who come to Scotland only to run into a strange group of religious fanatics. I hope they wear weird animal head dresses again.

Showtime is pushing the "Dexter" promos so much you'd almost think season 6 isn't still a month and a half away. But anyway there's a new poster for your peepers to view and it's crafty because it's got Dexter with a bunch of blood behind him. But wait, the blood looks like wings. You just mind f'ed me lonely designer who spent hours on this and 74 other posters only to have some jackass on a horror website mock it. I'm so sorry.

Good news America. It looks like Tom Six will be setting "The Human Centipede 3" in the good old U.S. of A. Wait, it gets better. According to Six the third installment will make the second look like a "Disney film". I love Disney films so I can't wait for the second, which will see a limited release in the states on October 7th. Disney films and America? I believe you have warmed your way into my heart Mr. Six.

In Real People News: 

I'm not sure what kind of standards Olympic skiers have to live up to in the US but I'm pretty sure urinating on an 11 year old on a flight is not considered appropriate. Unfortunately that's just what an 18 year old team member did on a red eye flight to NY the other day. But hey the swimmer guy smoked a lot of pot. That's worse, right?

If you've ever driven through Pennsylvania than you know those back woods hicks drive like mental patients. To drive home the point here's a lovely story about an Aunt who didn't think she could handle getting out of a tight parking spot. Her solution to the problem? Having her six year old niece give it a go. Sure, why not.

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