Horror Headlines: Monday April 15th, 2013

I'm not saying I did or didn't watch the MTV Movie Awards last night but if I did I'd really like someone to explain to me what the hell a Macklemore is and why that big guy who sings with them wears such tight shirts? I had a lot of trouble accepting I was an XL too but I'm pretty sure this guy is still trying to squeeze into a size small.

Morgan Freeman will not play god or the president in the upcoming sci-fi flick "Transcendence". The film tells the story of a scientist who's brain is uploaded into a computer after he is killed by terrorists. Truth be told it hasn't been revealed what role Freedman will play so there is still a solid chance he could play the president, god or some sort of god/president hybrid here. I just like to think outside the box now and then.

Sunn Classic Pictures has gone ahead and dropped word that they intend to move forward with a remake of the 1983 classic killer dog flick "Cujo". Based on a Stephen King story, Sunn Classic is the same group that released the original and decided to hold on to the rights to the picture in the hopes that in 20 years we'd be remaking every horror film ever made. Well planned fellas.

If you loved last year's surprise gushable fan boy favorite "Dredd 3D" then you're in luck because a sequel is currently in the works and will drop this September. Of course the sequel will be in comic book form and instead of being able to watch cool stuff fly around the screen you'll have to read words and look at tiny stupid drawn pictures but still. Ya know what no I can't even joke about this. This is just awful and only exciting to virgins.

"Stripped", a new horror flick set in Vegas has been confirmed to be hitting DVD this coming May 14th. The flick follows a group of friends who find themselves in the company of strippers who also happen to take the vital organs of their clients. I'll be honest this movie doesn't sounds very good and I'll most likely never see it but I will read just about any article that mentions strippers.

In Real People News: 

If you're going to make a big purchase you want to try out the goods before you put down your hard earned money. Weather it's a new car or a large band saw. Of course if you're this guy in Los Angeles and you're going to test out a saw by trying to chop off your arms you might want to ask for a private room or something. People don't want to see that crap when they're looking for a new ceiling fan.

I've learned a few things about sports here in Chicago since moving to the area and probably the best fact is that the Cubs suck and everyone here blames it on a goat. So why wouldn't a fan send a severed goat's head directly to Wrigley field in the hopes that it would break the curse. Or cause it to continue on maybe? I don't know what the thought process was really I just hope Norwegian black metal was involved.

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