splice

Jack Nicholdson in "The Shining"

Apparently my opinion means nothing because the National Society of Film Critics has named Lars Von Trier's "Melancholia" as their number one film of 2011. What that actually means I couldn't tell you but "Drive Angry" is nowhere to be found on the list so I'm calling the entire thing bullshit.

I continue to cover "Underworld: Awakening" news only because Eric has now already gone on record that it will be his number 1 film for 2012. So here's a new clip from the film for Eric to enjoy. It's got Kate Beckinsale blowing some crap up and running around in a cat suit. I assume at least. I didn't really watch them. These were specifically made for Eric.

The only thing I know about "The Grey" is that Liam Neeson fights a bunch of wolves in it. I have no idea what else anyone would want to know about the movie though because that's so bad ass it makes my tummy hurt. Just look at this new poster for the film. Neeson all bad ass in the snow and crap. Does your tummy hurt? No? Well I drank some Baileys that expired 3 years ago yesterday so that might be what's doing it for me. We may never know.

If you liked "Splice" then you're not me. Which explains why you never put in any sort of effort with the news. I should stop getting pissed at you I guess. But the director of the film, Vincenzo Natali, has been tapped to direct a new film titled "Haunter". The twist here is the movie is a haunted house story, but told through the eyes of a spirit haunting the house. Did your nose just start bleeding? That's because I just blew your mind.

Dieter Laser of The Human Centipede

"Splice" and "Cube" director Vincenzo Natali is apparently working on 38 movies at the same time including the recently announced "388 Arletta Avenue". From the new poster for the flick I'm guessing it has something to do with cameras, the internet and LOL'ing. Just guessing here though.

The cast for "The Howling: Reborn" is shaping up nicely and today we've got a few names to throw your way. I say nicely in the hopes that someone here knows who the hell Landon Liboiron is because I don't recognize a thing from his IMDB. Although I am interested in something called "Moondance Alexander". I can't wait for the next staff picks on the podcast.

I've got little clue what "Sucker Punch" is but I think it might be the greatest Cinamax 2am women's prison movie ever made. I could be wrong though, god I hope not. Anyway it's got a new trailer and I think I'm in love.

Here's a new exciting one sheet for "Paranormal Activity: Tokyo Night". It's just like the one sheets you saw for the US version of the film but with Asians. I'm going to stop now because honestly I have no idea what's considered racist anymore.

Joe shows up late and judges Eric, who finally sat through an entire movie for the show.

If you're planning to attend the South by Southwest (SXSW) festival this year, you should definitely check out the the so-called "First Look" screening of the Robert Rodriguez-produced, Nimrod Antal-directed action flick "Predators", a film I'm still on the proverbial fence about. Topher Grace and Adrien Brody? Really?

Speaking of Adrien Brody, talented direct Vincenzo Natali's highly-anticipated monster movie "Splice" is set to terrify audiences on June 4th. It's always nice to have a potentially nifty horror flick scheduled for a summer release.

Although I have my doubts as to whether or not this project will ever get off the ground, it would appear that Todd McFarlane is still spreading rumors that another "Spawn" film is in the works. I'm excited about the idea as much as the next nerd, but I'm not going to hold my breath. No sense setting myself up for soul-crushing disappointment.