vincenzo natali

Horror Headlines: Wednesday, April 4th, 2011

It's hump day! Get out ya jimmy hats.

Abigail Breslin, who stole our hearts in "Little Miss Sunshine" has officially been confirmed to be taking the lead in Vincenzo Natali's new flick "Haunter". The story revolves around a girl who dies tragically in the late 80's and reaches out from beyond the grave to help a family avoid the same fate. If she tripped over a Rubik's Cube or something and fell down the stairs, I think the coast is clear on a repeat.

Here's a good one. "Sucker" is a new flick from the gentleman who played Wyatt in the "Weird Science" TV series. That's not even a joke. What's the film about you might ask? Why, just your average run of the mill man-turning-into-a-giant-mosquito that's all. Is it kind of a rip off of "The Fly"? Maybe. But it still sounds pretty cool and Lloyd Kaufman is in the cast. I don't know what else you people want.

I'm not trying to be the guy who doesn't like the movie that everyone likes here but I did not care for "Avatar". There, I said it. In all fairness I didn't see it in the theaters so maybe that's it. I kind of wanted the army guys to win. Those blue people were annoying. So I'm not that devastated by the news that "Avatar 2" will most likely not hit it's December 2014 release date. I also don't really like "Day Of the Dead". God, it feels good to get all this out there.

In a recent interview the burned one himself Robert Englund waxed poetic (I don't think I'm useing that right)... (that's what she said) about the "Nightmare on Elm Street" prequel that never came to be. Apparently there was even a script floating around about the events that led up to Freddy coming to be the nightmare stalker but the fat cats in Hollywood never got it off the ground. Stupid fat cats and their fat cat love of fat cat food. That makes no sense, I know.

In Real People News: 

Good to know: Apparently the sentence for trying to yank an elderly man off the toilet by his genitals in the nursing home you work at in Minnesota is 45 days in jail. Keep that in mind.

An Iowa man is in hot water after we was caught on camera peeing on the office chairs of his "attractive" co-workers. Somewhere in Iowa right now there's a woman sitting in an office sobbing because her chair doesn't smell like piss.

Horror Headlines: Monday, January 9th, 2012

Do people still use the word "cherry" to describe their virginity? Ya know like, "I totally lost my cherry to Johnny by the dumpster after last week's dance"? Anyway when I was little I always thought I would lose my cherry to The Jeff Healey Band's timeless classic "Angel Eyes". For those of you not familiar with Jeff Healey he's the blind guitar player who was in "Road House". If you're not familiar with "Road House" then there isn't much I can do for you.

Apparently my opinion means nothing because the National Society of Film Critics has named Lars Von Trier's "Melancholia" as their number one film of 2011. What that actually means I couldn't tell you but "Drive Angry" is nowhere to be found on the list so I'm calling the entire thing bullshit.

I continue to cover "Underworld: Awakening" news only because Eric has now already gone on record that it will be his number 1 film for 2012. So here's a new clip from the film for Eric to enjoy. It's got Kate Beckinsale blowing some crap up and running around in a cat suit. I assume at least. I didn't really watch them. These were specifically made for Eric.

The only thing I know about "The Grey" is that Liam Neeson fights a bunch of wolves in it. I have no idea what else anyone would want to know about the movie though because that's so bad ass it makes my tummy hurt. Just look at this new poster for the film. Neeson all bad ass in the snow and crap. Does your tummy hurt? No? Well I drank some Baileys that expired 3 years ago yesterday so that might be what's doing it for me. We may never know.

If you liked "Splice" then you're not me. Which explains why you never put in any sort of effort with the news. I should stop getting pissed at you I guess. But the director of the film, Vincenzo Natali, has been tapped to direct a new film titled "Haunter". The twist here is the movie is a haunted house story, but told through the eyes of a spirit haunting the house. Did your nose just start bleeding? That's because I just blew your mind.

In Real People News: 

I'll be the first to admit I don't get art. I mean don't get me wrong I understand a painting of a house is a house. But smears and all that Andy Warhol garbage is just lost on me. For that reason I don't really go to museums. If I did I might have to do like this woman in Denver, who is now being brought up on charges for trying to pee on a $30 Million painting while she was drunk.

A Oklahoma man is in some hot water after he went into a maternity store, started trying on bras and dresses and then exposed himself to everyone. I'm so baffled by this I can't come up with something witty to say. Well done my friend.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday January 26th, 2011

Looks like "Scream 4" isn't quite screamy enough yet so Wes Craven is heading back behind the camera to do some re-shoots next week. I'm sure he reads the site so I'd like to talk to Mr. Craven directly now. Wes, can I call you Wes? Wes what's with the cheerleader from "Heroes" looking like a boy? What's say we let that hair grow and and cast her as a girl? You're doing re-shoots anyway. Thanks Wes!

If anyone's written a horror movie lately and wants it picked up now's your chance because Slash is obviously all kinds of drugged up and signing off on just about anything. Over the past few weeks he's signed on to produce a number of flicks with his new Slasher Films company and now we learn he's got two more, "Theorem" from Vincenzo Natali and "The Other Kingdom" from Philip Eisner. Silly top hat.

The South Korean film "I Saw the Devil" finally has a trailer and much to my surprise it is chock full of South Korean people. I have no idea if that's accurate. Kim Jee-woon, the guy who brought you "The Good, the Bad, the Weird", directs the film which marks his first attempt at horror. I don't care what culture you're from, I'm not comfortable with any man being named Kim.

If you're tired of all these big budget exorcism movies then here's "The Disco Exorcist" to save the day. The film is suppose to be another grindhouse romp and I can only assume will feature both a disco and an exorcism. We can only wait and see though folks, I'm not a fortune teller.

In Real People News: 

A 33 year old women in Buenos Aires survived a jump from the 23rd floor of a hotel after landing on a taxi. Which is pretty amazing but what's even more awesome is that there's a photo. Cameras rule!

A Connecticut man when ahead and sued his former job because he says he was wrongfully fired for not being able to urinate on demand for drug tests. Which is funny because if he wins this he'll probably be so excited he'll pee his pants. Get it!

Horror Headlines: Thursday November 4th, 2010

"Splice" and "Cube" director Vincenzo Natali is apparently working on 38 movies at the same time including the recently announced "388 Arletta Avenue". From the new poster for the flick I'm guessing it has something to do with cameras, the internet and LOL'ing. Just guessing here though.

The cast for "The Howling: Reborn" is shaping up nicely and today we've got a few names to throw your way. I say nicely in the hopes that someone here knows who the hell Landon Liboiron is because I don't recognize a thing from his IMDB. Although I am interested in something called "Moondance Alexander". I can't wait for the next staff picks on the podcast.

I've got little clue what "Sucker Punch" is but I think it might be the greatest Cinamax 2am women's prison movie ever made. I could be wrong though, god I hope not. Anyway it's got a new trailer and I think I'm in love.

Here's a new exciting one sheet for "Paranormal Activity: Tokyo Night". It's just like the one sheets you saw for the US version of the film but with Asians. I'm going to stop now because honestly I have no idea what's considered racist anymore.

In Real People News: 

Want to throw up? Here's a toy poodle that was found in ditch that has its fur so matted that it couldn't even see. Put your coffee down, it's going to get nasty folks.

And now that you're done throwing up here's some bacon flavored soda to wash the taste out of your mouth. What a terrible morning this is turning into.

On this day in history: 

1983 - Bomb attack on Israeli headquarter in Tyrus Lebanon, 60 killed

Episode 122 - "Splice"

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Joe shows up late and judges Eric, who finally sat through an entire movie for the show.

Purchase this Back Episode $0.99

Horror at Sundance: "Splice"

"Splice" has the solid pedigree of coming from "Cube" director Vincenzo Natali and executive producer Guillermo del Toro. It stars Sarah Polley and Adrien Brody as geneticists who successfully engineer an new animal species - conveniently keeping under wraps that they've used human DNA to do so. The new genetic lifeform ages rapidly enough to have a reported sex scene with Adrien Brody. I haven't seen the adult monster design but so far there ain't nothing pretty about that mental picture, folks.

Snapshot: "Splice" (2010)

In this hi-res image from "Splice", Canadian actress Sarah Polley approaches a half-human, half-animal hybrid that she and another scientist helped create. As with most things of this nature, the beautiful creature eventually turns on its creators and things get deadly. Directed by Vincenzo Natali ("Cube") and produced by Guillermo Del Toro ("Pan's Labyrinth"), "Splice" will have its American debut at the Sundance Film Festival in January, before going wide across Europe in early 2010.

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