nic cage

We review the latest Nicolas Cage film and Louis prepares us for the oncoming Anglo/Mexican wars.

Nic Cage has had a varied career. He’ s played family men, vampires, business tycoons and more. His range carries him from one role to the next with ease. There is only one thing more varied that Cage’s roles and that is his hair.

It’s been big, it’s been slick, it’s been high and tight and more. Sometimes the hair draws more attention than the role, other times it’s a silent sidekick waiting in the wings for its time to shine. Join me today in honor this week’s release of “Drive Angry 3D” as we take a journey through the 10 Phases of Nic Cage’s Hair.


Drive Angry

If your car breaks down and you agree to getting a lift from a strange guy as long as you ride in the trailer for his big rig then you deserve every awful thing that is coming your way. In the case of "Prowl", the latest release form the After Dark Originals series that awful thing is being left in a warehouse full of flesh eating monsters.

The world sits and waits for what I assume will be the academy award winning film "Drive Angry" to be released in late February. To tide us over the makers have put out a dandy motion poster which you can print out and hang on your wall. Of course then it won't be in motion anymore but you can still fawn over Nic Cage in the privacy of your own bedroom. Sicko.

Hammer Films is at it again with "Wake Wood", a happy go lucky little tale about a couple who loses their only child in a dog attack and move to a small town where a pagan ritual gives them three more days with their daughter. A bunch of new photos have hit the net for your viewing pleasure and if you like you can email me and I'll send you some photos of myself that I've titled "Wake Wood" also.

I didn't even realize they were making a sequel to "Laid to Rest" but here we are kids with a trailer. "ChromeSkull: Laid to Rest 2" should please fans of the first, I think. honestly I haven't met any fans of the first. Come to think of it I don't think I'm met anyone's who saw the first. Come to think of it I forgot to put on pants today!

Ron Perlman will headbutt the evil out of you.

Every day I look on the tubes for news that's going to grab you by the lips and yank. Some days that task is pretty hard. Today is not one of those days. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a very NSFW clip of from "Drive Angry" where Nic Cage is having sex with a women while having a gunfight. I don't want to say you should skip the rest of the news but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't going to go downhill after this.

Because "Piranha 3D" is hitting DVD and Blu-Ray and that gives us a reason to continue being pervs, the makers recently held an online "Hottest Babes in Horror" showdown on their site. The winner? One Miss Eliza Dushku. The losers? A porn stay way past her prime, a girl I think is someone but if I'm wrong I sound really racist and a bunch of other people I don't recognized. So yeah, congrats.

Michael Tully is a director and he's created a movie called "Septien" that has the greatest movie poster I've seen this year. No there isn't anyone nude on it, sometimes I can be classy to you know. The movie focuses on a gambler who returns home after being away for years to reconnect with his insane brothers. Side note, I have no idea how to pronounce the title of this film.

"Dibbuk Box", which sounds like a Japanese prono, has added Kyra Sedgwick to it's ever growing cast list. From Sam Raimi's Ghost House Pictures, the movie follows the story of a young boy who becomes strangely attracted to a wooden box that contains a soul chomping demon. Sedgwick will play the unlucky tike's mother.

"Vanishing on 7th Street" is apparently already available on VOD even though it won't be released in theaters till next month. In honor of all this a new clip has been released and I have to say the Brad Anderson directed gem is looking pretty good. I'm pretty sure the DVD was released back in July.

Director Joe Johnston now admits that "The Wolfman" remake was a big piece of crap and that he only did it because he was having money problems. Normally I would just think he's a prick trying to explain his way out of the doodie pile he made but I refuse to believe anyone that directed "Jumanji" could lie.

So apparently there's a new origin sequence in the second "Ghost Rider" film? Correct me if I'm wrong but I've seen the first one 37 times and there was an origin scene in that one right? Two origins? I'm not one to question it, I was terrible in science class and I'm not even sure this is actually science.

Ivan Reitman is here to crush all your hopes and dreams my friends. According to him "Ghostbusters 3" hasn't been cast yet so all the rumors you've heard about who will be playing the various characters are pretty much false. That and he's confirmed we're all going to die in a fiery hellstorm sometime this year. So there's that.

As expected Sunday night's "The Walking Dead" season finale went balls out with the rating, pulling about 8.1 million viewers between the 10 pm and 1 am showings. That's up 9% from last week's show and the series had the highest average for a cable show since 1993. That's a lot of math and to be honest the most amazing part is that I somewhat understand it.

It's no surprise that the producers of "American Psycho: The Musical" are promising tons of gore. Well maybe it's a little surprise since it's going to be on Broadway but that's nowhere near as surprising as the fact that Tom Cruise might be making a small cameo in the show. I know this isn't sarcasm but somehow I still feel like I'm being a wise ass here.

Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman, I've had dreams that start with those two names. Nightmares, I meant nightmares... I swear! Anyway there's a bunch of new interviews with the two up on the tubes with them talking about how exciting their new flick "Season of the Witch" is. Get hot and bothered!

Hammer's next film titled "The Resident" will apparently not be released in theaters but instead see a DVD/Blu-Ray release on March 29th, 2011. My guess for the change in plans is that putting both Hilary Swank and Jeffrey Dean Morgan on the screen together would cause theaters to burst into flames from all the heat. Now it'll just be your home.