ChromeSkull: Laid to Rest 2

Horror Headlines: Monday June 13th, 2011

Fun fact about Colin Hanks, my wife would leave me for him without giving it a second thought. I know, it hurts me to think about it too. So here's the first trailer for "Lucky" in which Hanks plays a serial killer who strikes it big by winning the lottery. While it looks good I'm not sure how I can watch it with my better half while I know she'd rather be sitting on the couch with him watching a movie about me. Or just sitting on the couch with him. Point is Hanks is a home wrecker.

I'm still not sure this is real but it looks like there may in fact me a "Killer Klowns From Outer Space" sequel in the works. The movie, currently being called "Return of the Killer Klowns From Outer Space" will of course be in 3D and feature much of the original cast from the 1988 classic. If you tell me this is getting a wide release then I know it's bullshit. And I'll also laugh because you said "release".

The U.K. alien invasion comedy "Attack the Block" will finally make its way across the pond on July 29th and even be available in selected theaters. I hope they put subtitles into the movie. Or at the very least CGI in coffee over all the tea that i assume is being drunk in the movie.

If you watched "Laid to rest" for 15 minutes before turning it off like I did then you'll be completely indifferent to the first trailer for "ChromeSkull: Laid to Rest 2". The sequel which will hit DVD and Blu-Ray on September 20th follows the the happenings of the apprentice of our original slasher on his exciting birthing into the world of murder. I make it sound pretty hot, don't I?

In Real People News: 

Douglas Brian Irvin Jr. who apparently had a number of bit parts in films including "The Hangover" has been arrested for impersonating a cop and forcing women to have sex with him under the threat of going to jail. It's got to be a bad point in an actors career when they realize they have a better chance of getting a girl by pretending to be a cop rather then talking about the movies you've been in.

And here's a heartwarming story about some college kids in New Zealand who etched a giant penis into their colleges lawn two years ago and have now discovered it was actually picked up on Google earth. Dream big kids, dream so freakin big that Google earth captures your giant dream penis.

Horror Headlines: Thursday April 28th, 2011

This can't be a surprise to anyone can it? Gary Busey has officially been added to the cast of "Piranha 3DD". No confirmation on a role but based on the original I assume he'll play the President or maybe a giant rabbit that shoots lightning out of its nipples. Alright that second one might be a long shot.

Zorro isn't a name you've tossed around for a while but it looks like the caped one is making his return with a new twist. This time around the big Z will play vigilante in the future in the film that is currently being titled "Zorro Reborn". Sounds a little nutty by Rpin Suwannath is set to direct the movie and he did some of the visual effects on "Van Helsing" and he's got a name I can't pronounce. I don't see how this can fail.

I didn't know I was excited about a "Laid to Rest" sequel until I recently started reading so much about it. Turns out I'm pumped and now the flick titled "ChromeSkull: Laid to Rest 2" has a release date. September 20th, 2011 is the date all the world has been waiting for. I wonder if there will be a big Hollywood premiere? Oh man you think I'll be invited? You think Joan Rivers will make fun of me when I tell her I'm wearing shoes by Target and a suit by Salvation Army?

Heya! Here'sa a new poster fora "REC 3: Genesis"! It's a spicy meatballa! Creepy woman makein a crying with blooda! Oh mama this isa the 37th time I'm made this jokea!

In Real People News: 

Ya know my wife thinks she has it bad because sometimes I come home a little tipsy and accuse her of plotting to murder me. Little does she know there's guys out there like this fella in Minnesota who got into a fight with his girlfriend and then proceeded to lock her in a dog cage because "that's where bitches belong". I don't look so bad now, do I!

Let this be a lesson to all of you, put a freakin password on your wireless router! If you don't you could end up like this guy in Buffalo who had the feds swarm his house and knock the holy living hell out of him before they figured out that it was his neighbor who had been downloading child pornography over his wifi the previous evening. Which is funny because it was actually my neighbor who DVR'ed all that "Glee" on my TV.

Horror Headlines: Friday January 28th, 2011

If your car breaks down and you agree to getting a lift from a strange guy as long as you ride in the trailer for his big rig then you deserve every awful thing that is coming your way. In the case of "Prowl", the latest release form the After Dark Originals series that awful thing is being left in a warehouse full of flesh eating monsters.

The world sits and waits for what I assume will be the academy award winning film "Drive Angry" to be released in late February. To tide us over the makers have put out a dandy motion poster which you can print out and hang on your wall. Of course then it won't be in motion anymore but you can still fawn over Nic Cage in the privacy of your own bedroom. Sicko.

Hammer Films is at it again with "Wake Wood", a happy go lucky little tale about a couple who loses their only child in a dog attack and move to a small town where a pagan ritual gives them three more days with their daughter. A bunch of new photos have hit the net for your viewing pleasure and if you like you can email me and I'll send you some photos of myself that I've titled "Wake Wood" also.

I didn't even realize they were making a sequel to "Laid to Rest" but here we are kids with a trailer. "ChromeSkull: Laid to Rest 2" should please fans of the first, I think. honestly I haven't met any fans of the first. Come to think of it I don't think I'm met anyone's who saw the first. Come to think of it I forgot to put on pants today!

In Real People News: 

An emergency crew in Honolulu recently rescued a naked man who was trapped in a trash chute in the wee hours of the morning on Thursday. Everything really is sexier in Hawaii, even the garbage.

Break out the tissues racists, here's some sad news to spoil your Friday. After 65 years of dedication Hitler's last surviving bodyguard has announced that he can no longer respond to fan mail because of his age. How the hell did people get his address?

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