"This script is terrible and only the guy who co-wrote 'Predators' can fix it". Something I never thought would be said but apparently someone at Paramount uttered those fateful words because Michael Finch has been picked up to re-write the script for "Hellified", a new film about a group of criminals sent to Hell to stop the end of the world. He's kind of like a superman for movie scripts you aren't going to like.
John C. Reilly can do no wrong in my eyes. Alright I'll admit I never saw that movie where he plays a vampire who runs a carnival, or something like that, but everything I've seen him in has been pure gold. So I'm excited for "Life After Beth", a new zombie comedy flick he's going to star in along with Aubrey Plaza, the depressing girl from "Parks and Recreation". The film is based off of a UK short and will be 100 times better because Reilly is American and we don't drink tea.
According to James Franco himself he probably won't have a role in "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" after some shifts at Fox's big boy table. Nothings confirmed but Franco had apparently had a small role in the sequel but is now fairly sure the part has been cut. He then went on to say nobody calls him anymore and he's so lonely. He then sobbed uncontrollably for 45 minutes.
I don't know where the hell this came from but "The American Scream" is now available on DVD and it sounds pretty awesome. The documentary follows 3 different families as they transform their homes into spooky time attractions for the Halloween season. Sounds like a dandy Christmas gift for that special someone on your list. Wait, next week is Christmas? Where the hell have I been!?
James Franco and Winona Ryder have signed on to star in "The Stare". In the flick Ryder will take on the role of a playwright who decide if the world is out to get her or if she's just cracking under the pressure of completing her next project. Franco will of course play a lovable stoner. Alright I don't know if that second part is true but come on, you have to assume that's what he'll be doing even if that really isn't his role.
I do believe I just found the topic for our next open week in the Podcast schedule. Rob Zombie has wrapped on a shoot in Vancouver for a commercial titled "The Torturer" for the laundry detergent brand Woolite. Weird to see a horror director taking on a commercial yes but throw in the fact that Zombie looks like a homeless man and the fact that it's for laundry detergent is enough to make blood run out of your nose. I'm sorry for doing that to you.
"Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" finally has a director my friends and it's none other than Craig Gillespie who is currently working on the "Fright Night" remake. He also directed "Mr. Woodcock" which wasn't a very good movie but it made me giggle every time I heard the name Woodcock so that's got to count for something. Teehee... Woodcock.
"Let Me In" director Matt Reeves has decided to return to the vampire genre by signing on to direct "The Passage". Based on a book by Justin Cronin the story focuses on a group of terminally ill patients who find they can be saved by being bitten by a rare bat. But wait! There's some nasty side effects. Here's a hint, they kill people.
In Real People News:
If you're a 48 year old man from Florida being accused of child abuse there's not many excuses you can use to get out of the charges. Of course you could always try the excuse that the kids are just jealous of your roller skating abilities and making the whole thing up. That won't work either but man it's pretty funny.
Wait this is illegal? Two Texas High School students are facing charges after decapitating baby chickens in the hopes of breaking their baseball teams losing streak. I originally wrote that they decapitated a bunch of chick's heads but that sounds a lot worse if you read it wrong. Or a lot better if you have trouble getting dates. I don't judge.
This isn't a trailer for the "Mother's Day" remake but it is some sort of international sales promo that's found it's way online. Truth be told I've read the synopsis and watched the video and I'm still not 100% sure what the movie is about but it still looks pretty dandy. I assume it takes place on mothers day, right? Someone? I'm so confused and frightened.
"Gut" is a indie movie about two guys who end up watching some sort of awful movie based on one of the guy's suggestions and things get weird. They don't tell you what the movie is but my guess is it's some sort of snuff, autopsy or French film. Feel free to make your own guesses.
James Franco is set to direct and star in a new film about the real life slasher Richard Ramirez, better know as "The Night Stalker". Here's the fun part, Soundgarden front man Chris Cornell is also set to produce the film. Just tossing this out there, but what about getting that guy from Crazytown to compose the score?
If you had to put together the greatest cast of all time who would you pick? Don't bother thinking about it because the makers of "The Bleeding" have already done it. The answer? Vinnie Jones, Michael Matthias, Michael Madsen, DMX, Armand Assante and Kat Von D. Take a few minutes to compose yourself before checking out the clip because you might vomit from excitement.
When a mother and daughter take out time to do things together it's a wonderful thing. That is of course unless that mother and daughter are torturing animals and keeping the corpses in their house like this duo on Long Island. Just to confirm that isn't a wonderful thing at all, unless you're some kind of sicko, then it's probably right up your alley.
Kim Mordue was understandably devastated when her 20 year old son dropped dead after a drug overdose. Her mode of mourning was a little less understandable when she had his ashes mixed with ink and used in tattoo's on her back.
1993 - In the middle of the night, Lorena Bobbitt severs her husband John's penis and drives off, casually discarding the organ in a farm field. Surgeons successfully reattach the penis, allowing John to enter the porn industry.