Michael Finch

Horror Headlines: Tuesday December 18th, 2012

"This script is terrible and only the guy who co-wrote 'Predators' can fix it". Something I never thought would be said but apparently someone at Paramount uttered those fateful words because Michael Finch has been picked up to re-write the script for "Hellified", a new film about a group of criminals sent to Hell to stop the end of the world. He's kind of like a superman for movie scripts you aren't going to like.

John C. Reilly can do no wrong in my eyes. Alright I'll admit I never saw that movie where he plays a vampire who runs a carnival, or something like that, but everything I've seen him in has been pure gold. So I'm excited for "Life After Beth", a new zombie comedy flick he's going to star in along with Aubrey Plaza, the depressing girl from "Parks and Recreation". The film is based off of a UK short and will be 100 times better because Reilly is American and we don't drink tea.

According to James Franco himself he probably won't have a role in "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" after some shifts at Fox's big boy table. Nothings confirmed but Franco had apparently had a small role in the sequel but is now fairly sure the part has been cut. He then went on to say nobody calls him anymore and he's so lonely. He then sobbed uncontrollably for 45 minutes.

I don't know where the hell this came from but "The American Scream" is now available on DVD and it sounds pretty awesome. The documentary follows 3 different families as they transform their homes into spooky time attractions for the Halloween season. Sounds like a dandy Christmas gift for that special someone on your list. Wait, next week is Christmas? Where the hell have I been!?

In Real People News: 

And Edward Furlong's 6 year old son has tested positive for cocaine and been taken out of his custody. And at the last second for the father of the year awards.

Chicago! My new home. Land of the deep dish pizza and giant hot dog. Also land of this woman who ran over her boyfriend with her car and then lit his testicles on fire. I've made a terrible mistake.

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