I'm like a little school girl for the movie "Priest" and the new trailer has got me all in a tizzy. I'm flustered, light headed and I think I may of started menstruating. Wait there's vampires in it? Oh man I'm going home pregnant!
The problem with being awful with names is that every time you read a headline about some guy's next film you get kind of excited. So when I read that David Ellis' next flick is going to be "The Briar Lake Murders" I got interested. Then I found out David Ellis is the guy who directed "Snakes on a Plane" and I realized this news is useless. So don't bother reading it.
Here's the new trailer for Hammer Film's "The Resident". What did I learn? Well Christopher Lee is still alive so that's nice. What was confirmed? Hilary Swank is in fact a man, which is not very nice. It's not very nice at all is it.
Just days after Joe Johnston admitted that "The Wolfman" kind of sucked there is now talk that the film could be up for an Oscar. Now before you go renting a tux I should point out that it's for best makeup which to be fair "The Time Machine" remake was nominated four years ago and only one person in the world liked that. If you promise not to keep it I'll let you borrow the DVD.
In Real People News:
Holy mother of God why did no one get this on camera? An Italian man who was shot in the head got the bullet out the manliest way possible, he sneezed it out. I wonder if it made a bang when it came out, man I hope so.
Now I don't want to say I'm for crime and hurting people but if it's happening to a guy who's dressing up like a super hero and trying to fight bad guys, well then it's kind of funny. Phoenix Jones is just such a guy who thought he would be the next Superman but instead was held up at gunpoint and had his nose broken. See isn't that funny?
Doug Jones and Reggie Bannister are now all set to slip into their most natural roles ever as R-Squarded films pick up "Carnies" for distribution . The company plans a limited theatrical release and a full scale DVD release for this little convention breaker that sets the carnies facing an unknown evil!
1692 - At 11:43am, a catastrophic earthquake strikes Port Royal, Jamaica, then known as "the richest and wickedest city in the world." Buildings are shaken apart and ships in harbor hurled onto busy streets. In just three minutes, the temblor takes out 70% of the population, killing 1,600 and seriously injuring 3,000 others.
Little advice... when you hear a movie scoop that's on a site you've never heard of, chances are it's not true. Which would be why we didn't report on the potential "Hannibal" sequel that everyone else was all over this weekend. Turns out it only took a day or two to prove it false, with more info on the whole situation at the link.
Teaser posters for "Humpty Dumpty", about an alien who takes revenge on some rednecks who abuse his mother. Why the title? Well, the posters seem to explain that, at least sort of. "Humpty Dumpty" is being directed by "Final Destination 2" and "Snakes on a Plane" helmer David R. Ellis.
According to a press release sent out at Cannes recently, the zombie film "Pontypool" may get a sequel within a years time. Should be interesting considering not too many people outside of the film festivals have even had a chance to see it yet!
1936: Tokyo gangster Kichizo Ishida is accidentally strangled by his mistress during a session of rough sex. Ishida had been a "gasper," someone who enjoys the sexual effects of asphyxiation. The woman, Sada Abe, indulged him by wrapping her pink kimono belt around his neck. After her lover's death, Abe cuts off Ishida's penis and scrotum with a meat cleaver and carries them around until she is finally arrested, three days later.
David R. Ellis to bring us "Humpty Dumpty". The new film by the "Final Destination 2" and "FD: Deathtrip 3D" director is about: "a half-human, half alien creature who embarks on a murderous rampage after his alien mother is abused by two rednecks in the deep South." Oh, it will also be in 3D, so there's that.
The rest of the episodes of "Harper's Island" will run on Saturdays at 9:00pm on CBS. They've all but given up on the show being a ratings success, but since the episodes were already produced they figured they should let it run out. Saturdays are typically filled with reruns for most networks anyways, so there's no real loss for them shifting to that night. Apparently the show was going to be canceled outright, but it was significant DVR ratings that saved it from the ax.