mcg

Horror Headlines: Wednesday April 20th, 2011

Evan Spiliotopoulos, who you know as the writer of the sequel to 75% of the greatest Disney cartoons has been tapped direct "Ouija". McG has already been announced as the director of the flick based on the Hasbro board game that has allowed me to speak to George Burns from beyond the grave. Every night I force him to explain to me what it was like on the set of "Oh, God!". I think he's starting to get pretty sick of it.

If you picked up "Portal 2" yesterday then you probably already know this, but for those of you who have a day job and can't spend all night being called a "Noob" by some 11 year old Australian kid over XBox Live, it might be interesting to know that Mr. J.J. Abrams has included a pretty cool interactive trailer for "Super 8" in the extras section of the game. So maybe go pick up the game, huh? Or just Google the video... it's a lot cheaper.

John Luessenhop, who looks like a guy who would be described as "a quiet man" on a news report announcing he murdered his family and ate them, is in talks to possibly direct the upcoming "Leatherface 3D" hot pocket. The nugget is a sequel to the 2003 "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake. Did I mention the movie is going to be in 3D? And I talked about the creepy murderer director, right? Are you as excited as I am? Probably.

Leven Rambin has been cast in the upcoming flick "Hunger Games" in the role of Glimmer. Jennifer Lawrence will play District 12's Katniss Everdeen and the two will apparently battle to the death. This will apparently be the first film in a series that I have absolutely no idea about and if I'm being honest I haven't understood one thing I've talked about in this little blurb. I'm so confused.

In Real People News: 

If you're trying to win over a judge at your divorce hearing so you can say get custody of the family dog or something you might want to avoid beating the hell out of your soon to be ex-wife in the judges chambers. I don't know, I'm not lawyer though so what do I know.

An air traffic controller has been suspended after he was watching "Cleaner" on a portable DVD player while he was suppose to be directing traffic. Was he suspended because it was "Cleaner" or just because he was watching a movie in general? I've never seen or even heard of "Cleaner" actually, is it that bad?

Horror Headlines: Wednesday January 5th, 2011

Gareth Edwards recently made waves with his low budget success "Monsters". Legendary Pictures was so impressed with his bargain barrel monster effects, they've now tapped the director to helm their "Godzilla" remake. Sure, Edwards proved himself a decent director but, we all remember how the last American "Godzilla" remake turned out, don't we?

If you didn't hate the poorly named McG already, prepare to set your phasers to loathe. The director has stepped in to take over the troubled "Ouija" board movie. Yes, a movie on the crappy Hasbro board game.

George Clooney is going to return to his horror roots as he signs on to star in the serial killer thriller "The Monster of Florence".

I've long thought that the classic Grimm Fairy Tale "Hansel and Gretel" lacked sexiness. Thank god Gemma Artetron and Jeremy Renner have signed on for "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters".

In Real People News: 

How many times have you had this conversation? "Mom... can I ask you a question?" "Sure dear, ask me anything!" "Do you ever get that...not so fresh feeling?" "I used to dear, but now I just head down to the spa for my vaginal steam bath!" Nothing says "fresh" like squatting over of a piping hot cup of mugwort tea!

Two clowns were found dead in Mexico, victims of a vicious drug gang hit.

On this day in history: 

1981 - The Yorkshire Ripper, murderer of 13 women, is arrested. Peter Sutcliffe concentrated mostly on hookers, but still managed to terrorize mainstream England in the late 1970's and early 1980's.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday May 5th, 2009

Just in time for the Region 1 DVD of "[REC]" to land this July, the official site for "[REC 2]" is live. Not a whole lot there at the moment, but with a planned October 9th release in Spain, you should see material popping up there periodically over the summer. We'll keep you informed if we hear anything.

Two new images from "The Pack", a pretty fantastic looking film about a pack of "bloodthirsty ghouls" in a snowy no-man's land, whose mother takes care of them, and feeds strangers to them. Good times.

The quality may appear slightly dubious, but boy does the word "Nunsploitation" catch my eye. Hey, I'm only human. The flick's called "Nun of That" (how clever), and there's more info and a trailer at the link.

"Doghouse" has the exact same plot as "Lesbian Vampire Killers", is also a horror film from the UK, and has a new quad poster that almost shows full-on cameltoe. For those keeping track at home, that last part there pretty much makes up for the rest of that story.

Here's a spoiler-filled, detailed plot description of what "Terminator 5" will be all about, from McG himself. Sounds pretty interesting, as long as you don't mind the minor spoilers.

In Real People News: 

Apparently parents in Brooklyn had to be warned to not let their children eat raccoon shit recently. Yes, I said BROOKLYN, not some third world country. What the hell is going on there, anyway?

"The forbidden dance" has been banned in Pakistan for being too lude. Where's Kevin Bacon when you need him? I smell a sequel.

Government workers in China have been ordered to smoke nearly a quarter million packs of locally made cigarettes annually or be subjected to a fine. Can't make this stuff up, folks.

On this day in history: 

840: A son of Charlemagne, Emperor Louis of Bavaria, dies of fright during a total eclipse of the sun. His sons quarrel, causing the division of his Empire into France, Germany, and Italy.

Horror Headlines: Thursday April 9th, 2009

And here it is folks, despite all his blustering about shooting for an "R Rating", word has spread today that "Terminator Salvation" will be PG-13. Keep in mind that the source of this is an affiliated Pizza Hut site that's doing cross promotion, so I suppose it's possible they got it wrong. But it looks pretty official to me. I would expect some type of PR announcement soon considering all the coverage this story is getting.

Today's awesome indie title: "Destined to be Ingested". Do I care what it's about? Not really, but I'm guessing cannibals.

Jennifer Lynch talks about "Hisss", her "love story-action-comedy-musical-creature feature", which also happens to star a Bollywood actress in some sort of hot human/serpent hybrid costume. This is David Lynch's daughter after all, did you expect it to make sense?

Win a walk-on role on "The Crazies" remake through an auction. Just remember, if it turns out like "Friday the 13th", you're there for eternity, people!

Kyle Gallner, from "The Haunting in Connecticut" is now officially cast in the "Nightmare on Elm St." remake. He will be playing "Quentin", who also happens to be a podcaster. He was really solid in "HIC", so I would say that BGH is officially on board with this news.

In Real People News: 

I thought we had figured this out after the whole "Obama fingers" fiasco in New York a few months back... It's not a good idea to put our president's visage on any product, because there's probably some tangential way to turn it into a racist thing, and you don't want that kind of trouble. Considering this, it's hard to believe someone thought Chia Obama was a good idea, but as we learn on this site every day, the depths of stupidity know no bounds.

Contrary to advice being given out by some imam's in the Arab world, Epilepsy is not caused by Genies, and frankly they don't appreciate the slander.

On this day in history: 

1241: Mongols collect nine bags of ears after a battle with Henry, Duke of Poland, at Liegnitz. A feigned retreat separated the 500 Teutonic Knights from their infantry, and the Mongols slaughtered the entire infantry.

Horror Headlines: Friday March 20th, 2009

For a while last year I was reporting on this film called "Cleavagefield", which appears to be some kind of softcore spoof on "Cloverfield" only with you know, more boobs. Then I realized that the joke was kind of over and my coverage was a little embarrassing, so I stopped. Today there's a story that was too funny to pass up though, with news of the "Cleavage" field monster revealed! Hmmm... sort of looks like a cross between Dino from The Flinstones and one of those blowup things you see in front of car dealerships when they're having a big sale. In other words, classy.

IGN has a new "Terminator" salvation poster. Every morning when I wake up I punch myself in the face for letting McG get me this excited about one of this films. One things for sure, the man knows how to work a fanboy.

It turns out that Johnny Depp's production company is actually PRODUCING the "Dark Shadows" update that's been in the works for a while. They hope to shoot in the Fall, and although nothing's official yet, it's reported that Tim Burton is Depp's "first and only choice" for director. Stay tuned for more.

"Martyrs" hits DVD in the states on April 28th, 2009. Here's your long awaited chance to check out the hottest foreign horror property out there right now. That date is now just a little more than a month away.

In Real People News: 

I'm not saying I would want to go to this Texas school where teachers disciplined students by throwing them in a metal cage to fight it out "Fight Club" style, I'm just saying that after reading that story I kind of wish I could have watched. Does that make me a bad person?

Charles Manson's next parole hearing is scheduled for 2012, and he's looking increasingly old and frail. I'll let you make your own Mayan doomsday/Manson released in 2012 connections from this story.

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