hisss

Hisss (REVIEW)

There is no area of the cinematic universe I am more under-versed on than Bollywood films. I believe I have seen a couple, I could not provide you titles, plotlines or performers and I would not, in all likelihood, recognize any of them if you were to show them to me a second time. This is not to say that I have no impressions of these film going experiences. What I remember is that much as they are reputed to do, the Hindi mega-tainment offerings I watched provided the audience with a staccato mixture of romance, action, melodrama, dance and mustache twirling bad guys.

Horror Headlines: Thursday May 27th, 2010

If you like snakes, Bollywood, and director Jennifer Lynch, then you're in luck! The first set of posters for Lynch's upcoming horror flick "Hisss" have been released online. A movie about a snake woman's quest for revenge? You already know I'll be all over this one.

Yoshihiro Nishimura, the mastermind behind "Mutant Girls Squad" and "Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl", has begun production on his latest gore-soaked endeavor "Hell Driver". The plot: Japanese schoolgirls battle the undead in Tokyo. Life just got a little bit sweeter.

Speaking of quirky Japanese horror flicks, the trailer for "Neck", a film about a guy forced to watch a horror movie generated by his own mind, is ready for worldwide consumption. And people wonder why I spend so much time watching foreign horror movies.

Have you secretly wished for a horror flick featuring a killer tire? Me, too! Magnet Releasing has apparently acquired US distribution rights for "Rubber", a film about a murderous tire with telekinetic powers. This has been an awesome week for people with bizarre taste in cinema.

In Real People News: 

What's cooler than a playground fist fight? Playground fist fights organized by dodgy parents to help settle teenage squabbles. As long as someone films and uploads these questionable matches onto YouTube, I actually don't have a problem with this.

Only in California: A woman is planning to sue Newport Beach after her finger is ripped off in a hazardous bathroom stall. I'm no expert on such matters, but I've a sneaking suspicion that this is an operator problem, nothing more.

On this day in history: 

1995 - Actor Christopher Reeve is thrown from his horse, causing him to break his neck in two places.

Horror Headlines: Thursday April 9th, 2009

And here it is folks, despite all his blustering about shooting for an "R Rating", word has spread today that "Terminator Salvation" will be PG-13. Keep in mind that the source of this is an affiliated Pizza Hut site that's doing cross promotion, so I suppose it's possible they got it wrong. But it looks pretty official to me. I would expect some type of PR announcement soon considering all the coverage this story is getting.

Today's awesome indie title: "Destined to be Ingested". Do I care what it's about? Not really, but I'm guessing cannibals.

Jennifer Lynch talks about "Hisss", her "love story-action-comedy-musical-creature feature", which also happens to star a Bollywood actress in some sort of hot human/serpent hybrid costume. This is David Lynch's daughter after all, did you expect it to make sense?

Win a walk-on role on "The Crazies" remake through an auction. Just remember, if it turns out like "Friday the 13th", you're there for eternity, people!

Kyle Gallner, from "The Haunting in Connecticut" is now officially cast in the "Nightmare on Elm St." remake. He will be playing "Quentin", who also happens to be a podcaster. He was really solid in "HIC", so I would say that BGH is officially on board with this news.

In Real People News: 

I thought we had figured this out after the whole "Obama fingers" fiasco in New York a few months back... It's not a good idea to put our president's visage on any product, because there's probably some tangential way to turn it into a racist thing, and you don't want that kind of trouble. Considering this, it's hard to believe someone thought Chia Obama was a good idea, but as we learn on this site every day, the depths of stupidity know no bounds.

Contrary to advice being given out by some imam's in the Arab world, Epilepsy is not caused by Genies, and frankly they don't appreciate the slander.

On this day in history: 

1241: Mongols collect nine bags of ears after a battle with Henry, Duke of Poland, at Liegnitz. A feigned retreat separated the 500 Teutonic Knights from their infantry, and the Mongols slaughtered the entire infantry.

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