legendary pictures

Horror Headlines: Thursday November 10th, 2011

The plot for "Seven Psychopaths" might be the most confusing thing I've ever read but it also might have the greatest cast ever. The film is about a screen writer who finds inspiration when he gets caught up in a dog napping ring that mistakenly takes a psychopathic gangsters Shih Tzu. Still with me? Now to the cast, Woody Harrelson , Tom Waits and Olga Kurylenko have just been confirmed to join Colin Farrell, Christopher Walken and Sam Rockwell in the film. It's like the heavens read my diary and put together my perfect dream date.

If you loved "The Jungle Book 2" then you're going to want to sit down for this one. Writer Evan Spiliotopoulos, who also penned "The Lion King 1½" has been tapped to write the script for the upcoming big screen adaptation of the classic video game "Asteroids". Matt Lopez has already taken a pass but when you get a chance to work with the guy who wrote the script to the direct to video follow up to some classic Disney cartoons then you don't pass it up. That's just logic.

Ah crap! It looks like Robert Zemeckis has decided to step down as the as the director of the upcoming sea monster flick "Here There Be Monsters". No replacement has been picked and as of right now no reason has been given for Zemeckis' departure. I keep calling him but he must be busy or something. I'll keep trying though and let you know what I find out.

I trust everyone named Max. It's just a rule I live by. So even though I don't know a single thing Max Borenstein has done I still trust him to write the script for the upcoming remake/reboot of "Godzilla" for the Legendary Pictures. I'm not sure if they took my opinion into consideration while making their decision but I like to think they did.

In Real People News: 

If you're going to off yourself you want to do it in a big way. Like this guy in Texas who slit his wrists, stripped naked, doused himself in gasoline, and set himself on fire while sitting in his car on the side of the highway. Of course he survived and is now in the hospital but you can't say he didn't give it his all.

When you're 18 years old you'll do anything for some hot lovin. Like hopping on a bus and traveling from Arizona to Milwaukee to meet a girl you found online who said she'd do you. Unfortunately when you're a 21 year old female looking for a guy you and your roommate can chain up and cut repeatedly in a weird satanic sex ritual all you have to do is hop online and find a 18 year old to travel to Milwaukee to Arizona. At the end of the day the 18 year old got over 300 cuts and a script for what might be the worst eHarmony commercial ever.

Horror Headlines: Monday November 7th, 2011

Selma Blair has been in a lot of movies over the years, but to me she'll always be that girl who made out with Buffy in that crappy teen movie where everyone dry humped. You know the one I'm talking about. Well now she's set to star in "Columbus Circle", a new flick where she'll play a girl who hasn't left her apartment in nearly 20 years who has to confront her fears when her neighbor is murdered. I look forward to not remembering her in this also. Unless she makes out with a girl from a crappy 90's TV show. The cast of "Charmed" I'm looking at you.

When a movie gets pushed back a couple weeks you take notice, but don't really get worried. When the Sam Raimi produced film "The Possession" gets pushed from a January release to August 31 then you start to think something might be up. The movie, which follows a couple kids who accidentally unleash a an evil spirit hell bent on their destruction, has already been pushed once before so nothing good can come of this. Although maybe Raimi just likes the summer months. They're so much happier.

Legendary Pictures has acquired the rights to a new flicked currently titled "Spectral" which is being described as a grittier version of "Ghostbusters". The film comes from Ian Fried, a name I find on IMDB but I'm assuming it's not the same guy who was the voice of Timothy in "The Secret of NIMH". Although if it is I'm already a giant fan.

Think you're sick of exorcism films? Well think again my friends because none other than Nicolas Cage is being courted for a new film "The Quiet Ones". The film is based on the real life happenings of a team of Cambridge academics in the 1970's who record their investigation as they attempt to exorcise a poltergeist from a young girl. Didn't I blow your mind this time? Didn't I?

In Real People News: 

Watching "Dexter" pretty much gives you all the tools you'd need to carry out a good old fashioned murder. But who has time to go to the store and get one of those rubber suits? So you improvise! Like this woman in LA who covered herself in bubble wrap before she attempted to kill her ex-lover. It's like something you'd learn on one of those craft shows on PBS Sunday mornings.

Dealing with drive up tellers at the bank can be a real bummer. Especially when they're all pissy and act like pricks. So why not do like this man in Florida and take a leak in the pneumatic tube. I know what you're thinking. How the hell do I know what they call that tube you shoot your money over to the bank in? I'm not just a pile of good looks folks.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday January 5th, 2011

Gareth Edwards recently made waves with his low budget success "Monsters". Legendary Pictures was so impressed with his bargain barrel monster effects, they've now tapped the director to helm their "Godzilla" remake. Sure, Edwards proved himself a decent director but, we all remember how the last American "Godzilla" remake turned out, don't we?

If you didn't hate the poorly named McG already, prepare to set your phasers to loathe. The director has stepped in to take over the troubled "Ouija" board movie. Yes, a movie on the crappy Hasbro board game.

George Clooney is going to return to his horror roots as he signs on to star in the serial killer thriller "The Monster of Florence".

I've long thought that the classic Grimm Fairy Tale "Hansel and Gretel" lacked sexiness. Thank god Gemma Artetron and Jeremy Renner have signed on for "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters".

In Real People News: 

How many times have you had this conversation? "Mom... can I ask you a question?" "Sure dear, ask me anything!" "Do you ever get that...not so fresh feeling?" "I used to dear, but now I just head down to the spa for my vaginal steam bath!" Nothing says "fresh" like squatting over of a piping hot cup of mugwort tea!

Two clowns were found dead in Mexico, victims of a vicious drug gang hit.

On this day in history: 

1981 - The Yorkshire Ripper, murderer of 13 women, is arrested. Peter Sutcliffe concentrated mostly on hookers, but still managed to terrorize mainstream England in the late 1970's and early 1980's.

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